Since 1993, the Literary Review has presented an annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award for the worst description of a sex scene in a novel – and this year that honour went to Rowan Somerville, who narrowly edged out Franzen and Campbell with the sexy, sexy line “like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her.”

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Kim Kardashian is dead. Not really. I know, I also got excited but the fact is she’s just pretending to be dead to raise money for people affected by Aids in Africa and India, specifically. Today is World AIDS Day. Make a note of that.

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Generally we don’t like putting the words ‘love’ and ‘viral’ in the same sentence, because they’re usually followed with ‘should clear up after a round of penicillin.’ Thankfully, this online love-letter-video-thing isn’t the kind you need protection for; it’s a guy’s attempt at reaching his long-distance girlfriend virally over the internet.

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Action, singing, information. It’s all happening on 2oceansvibe Radio, where we make it our job to keep you fit, cool, happy, entertained, and informed. No need to thank us, it’s all in a day’s work, really. Click through for details on today’s 2oceansvibe Radio guests.

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All I need to say about Varsity Blues is Ali Larter and whipped cream bikini. Yoh, even as a female I had trouble breathing. And we all know that it is just about every guy’s fantasy to have his lady do this for him. So laydezz, get this alcoholic version of whipped cream and makes things even more interesting.

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Movable type is a technology that changed the world forever. It gave us the works of Shakespeare and Proust, religion and Die Son. It allowed mankind to document yottabytes of our collected history and wisdom. Sometimes, however, literature like these sneak their way into this prestigious collection of data.

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2oceansvibe.com has just gotten word from a reliable source within the South African musical promotions industry that Duran Duran’s tour to South Africa, which was scheduled for early December, has been cancelled.

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Singapore’s national water polo team is in a bit of trouble with the Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts for their latest uniform design – which places the crescent moon and stars from the Singaporean flag right about where a crescent-moon-shaped part of the anatomy would be if they weren’t wearing anything.

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Today’s 2oceansvibe Radio line up is pretty spicy.

We have the Dirty Skirts in at 09h30, chased by the editor of Playboy South Africa, washed down with a little Sex In The Mother City with Doctor D. It’s basically all about prescribed psychotherapeutic drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll on 2oceansvibe Radio this morning.

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South Africans have first hand experience of disappointment in World Cup bids after missing out in 2006 to Germany. England’s 2018 bid has seen nothing but controversy since then. Now the public broadcaster is climbing on the Bandwagon of Shame.

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Remember the days when you could get your best friend to break up with your boyfriend for you? Weren’t those days awesome? No guilt trips, no tears…Just a good clean break that didn’t even involve you. Well now there is a website that offers this service at a small cost.

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So a bunch of new information came to light with the recent Wikileaks release, blah blah everybody’s a spy, they’re planning on reunifying Korea, the U.S.is failing to prevent Syria arming Hezbollah, big deal. But apparently Russia’s badass PM Vladimir Putin and Italy’s pimp-daddy PM Silvio Berlusconi are fist-pumping bros!

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It is well understood that there are two oceans on either side of South Africa and 2oceansvibe should therefore not be restricted to just Cape Town. That’s probably why we recently launched the “What’s the vibe in Jozi” segment on 2oceansvibe Radio and have also incorporated a 5-day weather report for Johannesburg as well!

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Once again Cosmo dazzled us with a spectacular summer swimwear show! I felt really spoilt as I was given front row seats to show you first hand what the show was all about! Follow the link to see the fashion (for the girls) and the beautiful models (for the boys!)..

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So there you are shooting hoops with some buddies on a Friday afternoon and bam! Your elbow connects the face of the most powerful man on earth. Naturally you don’t own up but wait for the world’s media to catch on to the story and identify you with the help of the Secret Service.

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It’s a Monday, so to cheer you all up, we ordered a double helping of sunshine, and one helping of South Africa’s top Afro-Pop group, Freshly Ground. Moreover, they’ll be jamming a small acoustic set. Correct, your eyes do not deceive you. Click through for details of how to tune in.

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I don’t understand this. At all. I mean, I’m tempted to just leave this here and let you guys draw your own conclusions, but I feel like you’re owed some kind of explanation. Which is unfortunate, because I have nothing for you. Sexualized CGI animals. Using Orangina as a household product. In France.

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An American woman has unwittingly become the talk of the town on Twitter. Or should I say, the talk of thousands of Ashes followers. Of course we all know that the Ashes pits Australia against England in a 5-test match series; unfortunately this poor woman doesn’t even know what a wicket is. Tweedicament.

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I must say that for all the cynicism surrounding recent Springbok performances, one overwhelming positive is that pundits are speaking their minds. However, after all the whingeing it’s time for some serious reflection and Jake White’s recent blog will take you through the key battles ahead of the biggest test match of the year at Twickers.

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Rarely, if ever, has such a great combination of ingredients existed. Butlers is spoiling us once again with happy vibes, excellent pies, and wonderful Mo’s. That’s right. If you haven’t ordered a Butler’s pie in a while, you’ve been missing out on moustachio’d Butlers, and free moustaches yourself, along with a slew of other great prizes. Click through for the meat.

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Poor Israeli military. You’re like that lonely guy, going through a pretty girl’s photos to see if she really does have a boyfriend, like she said that one time at that club. Except replace ‘boyfriend’ with ‘Orthodox Jewish background,’ which is a way better excuse anyway.

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Want to waste some time in the office this morning? I have found the perfect procrastination tool. FIFA have released their shortlist for the best goal of 2010. There are ten candidates and all of them will leave you dribbling on your papers. All ten.

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Well, alright, I’ll level with you, one of these two awesome pictures is a fake. Except they’re both fantastic – one displaying a street-side birth, the other with a naked dude climbing out of the trunk of a car. So either way, you’ve got at least one fantastic thing being given to you by your friendly neighborhood stalker/search-engine. SFW, by the way.

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Movember is a special time for men the world over. For exactly one month of every year, we claim the unreserved right to sport that most princely of accessories – the mustache. Fabled throughout history for its ability to increase the attractiveness and confidence of the simple man, the mustache also lets you stand in solidarity with men who suffer from cancer. RSA Web is on board with that vibe, and what’s more, they want to reward you for it.

To help raise awareness around the Movember initiative, RSA Web is running a ‘Uniquely South African’ initiative. And by “uniquely South African”, we of course mean “awesome”.

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Hipster-bashing was a thing on the internet for a while, except then hipsters started doing it to be ironic and the whole thing got sort of uncomfortable for everyone. Except this little gem’s popped up to make it okay again: a fake movie trailer for Charles Bronson Kills Hipsters. From a time when mustaches were sincere.

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2oceansviber and extreme marathon runner, Ryan Sandes has become the very first person in the biological history of human kind to run and win all four of the 4 Deserts marathon series. The last race, which took place in sub-zero Antarctica, saw Sandes take control of the the lead early on, and never relinquish it. There you have it, conclusive proof that 2oceansvibers are stronger, smarter, and more likely to posses the necessary skills to inspire submission than any other group of people.

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Rarely do I look forward to a sporting event more than the Ashes. What better than indulging in the fiery rivalry between JAFAs and POMs over 25 days of test match cricket?

Looking for the best bets for the series? More after the jump.

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Hearken, The Cape Town Festival of Beer approaches. A lot of people have asked, does Cape Town really need another beer festival? We’d like to point out that what Cape Town is getting is a Festival of Beer, not a beer festival. What’s the difference? The former is sophisticated and fun. The latter never is. Now, would a certain 2oceansviber like a 2oceansvibe Festival of Beer special? You would? Click through for details.

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Non-Manchester United fans would love nothing more than winning the league against Sir Alex Ferguson and watching his face become as scarlet and contorted as they’re used to seeing when things do not go his way. One player boasts a different type of victory – he threw a haymaker, which landed the wily, old Scot on his backside.

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Cape Town local and epic handcyclist, Andrew Stodel recently cleaned up the majority of the elite competitors in his handcycling field at the New York Marathon, finishing sixth out of 198 professional handcycling athletes. Read his personal account of the race after the jump.

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