Recent medical studies have indicated that a high number of hours spent on a cycling saddle per week is likely to lower your semen count.

Not all bad news, that is if we’re all aiming to be like Lance and Live Strong (read: sterile).

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South Africa predicted it would generate £570million from the 2010 Fifa World Cup. Experts also expected 450 000 supporters to attend the tournament. In both cases the predictors were well wrong. Many SA-based companies also failed to exceed expectations. That White Elephant argument was never going to go quietly.

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The story broke on the Mail & Guardian, and needless to say, it’s being picked up all over the globe. Police sources in Cape Town allege that there is high resolution, colour video footage of Shrien Dewani handing driver Zola Tongo a bankie of cash in the restaurant area of the Cape Grace Hotel.

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Maybe it’s a little early to be getting nostalgic, the Google’s Zeitgeist 2010 has you ‘Re-live top events and moments from 2010 from around the globe through search, images, and video.’ South Africans can go ahead and skip to 2:05, though, because that’s where the important part of 2010 really starts.

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Remember that song called “Jump On It!”? Sure you do. You used to graunch to that sing in your parents’ garage, with your Back to The Future hi-tops and lumo green laces. That one. This song is what that song is based on, it’s called “Apache”, and the video is face-palmingly awesome. Please enjoy the simulated keyboard dry-humping, among other delights.

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Drop what you’re doing, get on your feet and put your hands together: Mark Zuckerberg joined the Giving Pledge movement and is donating most of his wealth to charity. Bravo. He joins Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Michael Bloomberg and Ted Turner – truly selfless individuals with some of the biggest hearts in the world.

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Our Science and Technology minister didn’t mince her words announcing the arrival of SANSA (South African National Space Agency) yesterday using terms like “launch” and ”local scientific research sector” at free will. She even went so far as to say a decade from now South Africa would be a thriving space nation. Let’s look at some of the pros and cons of Mzansi in orbit.

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God, some headlines just write themselves. Happy Friday, by the way. PETA member and Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee has angrily written SeaWorld protesting their apparent use of killer whale Tilikum as a “chief sperm bank,” collecting ‘deposits’ with “a cow’s vagina filled with hot water.” What happened, Tommy Lee? You used to not be crazy.

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It’s the Premier Show on Friday this morning, ladies and gentlemen.

And it’s pretty much a feast of fashion on the show this morning, not least because we have GQ South Africa’s Best Dressed Man and a Rupert Everett dopleganger on the mics this morning. No sir.

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We live in a world where business ethics trump their moral counterparts with ease, so perhaps we shouldn’t get too upset about this.

You may well remember that Amazon.com abandoned WikiLeaks after suffering less than subtle diplomatic pressure from the United States.

While disappointing, that kind of move was inevitable, perhaps even understandable. If the negative attention damaged the brand, Amazon has since committed public relations hara kiri. Cue global brandfail for Amazon.com in three, two, one…

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I remember when we were kids my parents used to take us horse back riding and one time I fell and broke my arm. Another time a filly bit my sister’s shoulder. She was never the same after that. I’m so glad my parents found that horse farm outside Kimberley and never had YouTube and never saw what they do with their kids in Russia.

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The face of news is changing on a daily basis. It really has to. For as long as people have communicated, the basic premise of news has been one person asking another, “Tell me something new and interesting.” One person’s “new and interesting” may not be another’s news. News24 is very aware of this fact.

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Watch the video – it should bring you up to speed. Oh, animated Taiwanese news clips. You educate, you entertain, you sort of fail to make sense despite sticking to the facts. What can’t you do? Are you free for lunch some time? Coffee, maybe?

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Yes, I know that headline sounds like something you should be thinking about whilst in a dark room with a towel, but it’s actually rather funny. Sabine Schmitz takes CAR magazine’s Juliet McGuire around Zwartkops in a matte-black M3 Frozen Edition.

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If Vodafone based the design of their 3G modem on a device that takes up three USB ports unnecessarily they succeeded. On a grand scale. Is this 1998? Are we in the Stone Age? Behold, the great plastic death is reaping its harvest. This is the technological equivalent of the fat guy who takes up one and a half seats in economy class.

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On the whole, I am a fan of living in the future; video-phone calls, makin’ sheep immortal, that whole schtick. Except every now and then, slightly disturbing developments crop up, and I’m forced to consider a future where this is much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and zombies. Case in point: you can replace missing arms with robot tentacles.

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Kim Jong Il’s thousand yard stare is known from all four corners of the earth. His enemies tremble before it, his friends allow it to fill them with the glory of ages past, and the certain hope of yet more to come. Our Dear Leader, as we like to call him (some us even get to call him Special K, but hey, each to his own, right?) enjoys staring at things. We should enjoy staring at him, staring at things.

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Alan Pardew is the bookies’ favourite to take over as manager of Newcastle United after Chris Hughton was sacked last week. Now, for some that may not be a bad thing, but let’s just say I never quite saw him in the same light after I’d heard him say on Match of the Day that Michael Essien “absolutely RAPED” Manchester City’s Ched Evans. True blunder.

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It’s been thirty years since John Lennon was murdered by a man who got a little bit too excited about his music for his own good, and for John’s, for that matter. In any event, we bring you a truly remarkable short film made in 2007 by a man who as a teen interviewed Lennon in his hotel room. It bears repeating on this infamous day.

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So this is sort of interesting – some photos have appeared of Emma Stone with her new blonde get-up, in preparation for the Gwen Stacey role in Spider-Man Whatever. What’s interesting is that a number of people have commented on how much she looks like a Steve Ditko character – Ditko being Spider-Man’s co-creator.

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Daddy Cool has bestowed his generosity on all of us, gang. If you’d like to enjoy the dulcet tones of Seth Rotherham’s voice, and learn about how to make your life better through the use of tabs on your browser, then make sure you click through for the following public service announcement.

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There’s an ancient Tibetan joke that goes something like “There’s nothing funny about a car accident unless one of the cars involved was transporting a bucket of PVC paint, which exploded on impact, for maximum comedic effect.” Sure, we’re the first to admit that some of the humour is lost in translation, but the wisdom is clear.

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A warm welcome to Kitty Warner, who will be writing for us on a weekly basis. Sex In The Mother City‘s format will be a chronicle of Cape Town life, documenting various (s)exploits in and around Cape Town. Sex In The Mother City is based on true happenings in the Mother City (names have been […]

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For your reading pleasure: The criminal indictment of the taxi driver who has since been sentenced to 18 years in prison for the murder of Anni Dewani. The 32 page document includes allegations of Zola’s employment as a hit man by Shrien Dewani, Anni’s husband. You can download it after the jump.

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That’s because everyone’s boycotting it. China said they’re not going so then Russia said if China’s not going they’re not going and obviously if Russia’s not going Kazakhstan’s not going either. Now Iran, Iraq and Vietnam joined a growing number of countries that refuse to attend the western world’s award ceremony run by “clowns” who are “interfering in China’s judicial affairs.” Where is the love?

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PayPal, the online payments service that recently bitched out and froze the account of Wikileaks, citing terms of use violations completely unrelated to the recent US diplomatic cables leaks, has some interesting clientelle that it hasn’t dropped yet – the KKK, for instance.

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Ricky Ponting and his team have every reason to feel decidedly morbid. Yesterday’s annihilation has brought a collective grumble from local newspapers that have likened the national side to a “toothpick trying to derail a speeding bullet train.” There have even been calls for Shane Warne to drop the commentary mic and grab the kookaburra. Desperate times.

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Those Scandinavians, darem. Not only do they have lovely fjords, now they’re also setting trends in the workplace. The latest management technique to come from Norway involves women wearing red armbands when it’s that time of the month. I kid you not.

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Paying things with cards is weird for me. I mean obviously the convenience of having a plastic card that gets me stuff is great – I got to take advantage of the Threadless sale, for instance – but without that tangible sense of loss at having to fork over a wad of cash, there is the risk of going overboard is substantial. Folks at MIT have some ideas about that.

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If you got tired of the ‘New York State Of Mind’ parodies, then I am happy to tell you there are others. And this time they’ve covered and tweaked Eminem and Rhihanna’s song, ‘Love The Way You Lie.’ Better yet, this one has to do with Prop 19. Weed-heads, this one’s for you!

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