Hey guys. Men. Let me tell you something. Not often, but every so often, you spot that sort of lady. That special sort of lady that makes you think, “Oh if only I could take her in my arms, and we would slow dance like the night would never end!” With these tips, you might just get that chance. But probably not.

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We reported earlier that the Cape Quarter Lifestyle Village website had been subject to a hack by a member of the XtremeRoot.net educational hacking site, who went by the name of Legacy123. Legacy123’s hack has since been hacked, by someone using the cypher K141, and they’re not friendly.

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You also bump into things, talk loud, take swipes at lamp shades and smash your fist through tempered glass when you’re drunk? Well, it’s not because we were simply raised that way. It’s not even the liquor. It’s Drunk Gene.

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The Cape Quarter Lifestyle Village’s website was hacked this morning by someone using the cypher “Legacy123”. Legacy left a cheery little Christmas note for the Cape Quarter Website admins, and a link to an offensive security hacking forum, xtremeroot.net. The Cape Quarter Lifestyle Village is the home of 2oceansvibe Radio’s studios.

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You can’t touch this! No, you most definitely can. Check out the 2oceansvibe Radio interview with the Hammer in the afternoon prior to his Cape Town gig, after the jump.

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This according to Andre Meyer their big chief executive. The Big Chief came under fire last week because his company is increasing their rates by 6.9 percent instead of the recommended 3.6 percent. But you and I profit. “After all, by law medical schemes are not for profit entities,” he said in a statement. You scheme?

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Ever wondered what it’s like to compete in the hurdles? It’s bloody difficult. The hurdles are a lot higher than you think and after landing on the other side your strides need to be evenly distributed. Complicated stuff. Well if you’re looking to improve DO NOT take advice from this sorry muppet: he’s been dubbed ‘the worst hurdler in history’. [VIDEO]

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This past weekend I suffered the doppelganger effect. It’s that moment of television watching when, just as the sofa threatens to ingest your lumpy physique, your whole body surges forward violently, propelled by sudden realisation. Kevin Pietersen met the Cable Guy in my mind’s eye.

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I was always under the impression that cricketers weren’t the best-paid sportsmen on the planet. Well our very own Proteas Graeme Smith and AB de Villiers are set for ‘mahooooosive’ paydays come next year’s IPL. There are 19 others in the highest reserve price and believe me, they’re being paid quite a bit of Tom! Good form chaps.

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These photographs were shot in 1969, and were uncovered in some inocuous storage unit just last week. They’re a pretty fascinating documentary of a brief period in 1969 when the United States Army Engineer Corps dammed up the falls slightly upstream. It was the first time in thousands of years that the falls had run dry.

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SA’s union-in-chief has threatened strike action against the US retail giant before a single Walmart brick has been laid. That’s the way we do it here, Yanks. You don’t come to our country with your big ass shops and just put them up everywhere. We have rules. And Cosatu.

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This is the third installment of the weekly Sex In The Mother City series. After enjoying the attention of Julian in Episode 2, our antagonist Kira discovers the attention that comes her way at three parties across the mother city. Where does she fit in this scene, and why is she so in demand? Sex In […]

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There’s a pun in there, but if I’d been the one to write it I’d be forced to punch myself in the face, and that’s relatively difficult. Photographer John Mason has released a series of colour photos depicting Sophiatown’s destruction in ’59; they’re worth checking out on your lunch break. Pretty colours, historical relevance…take your pick.

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If someone had told you that the creator of the Simpsons, Matt Groening, and late night talk show king, David Letterman had parodied ANCYL[biters] president, Julius Malema, you would not have believed them.

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Walt Disney will be clicking his heels in his grave. Japanese scientists have, by promoting the miscopying of DNA from mice to their progeny, randomly produced a mouse that sings very much like a bird. So what are we aiming for here? Mouse servants? Mouse message couriers? No, not even remotely.

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The Associated Press, bless them, voted Betty White as top entertainer of the year because she starred in a Snickers ad and stays on longer than an iPad. Look, I love tannie Betty but if you put entertainer and 2010 in the same sentence you kind of want to throw these names in there too.

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Richard Hardiman managed to squeeze a lunch meeting with Jacques Kallis yesterday afternoon following reports that he had crashed his Audi R8 into his neighbours’ front gate at 02h30 on Tuesday morning. An obviously fatigued Kallis was kind enough to give us a few minutes to chat.

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Let’s be honest – you don’t read this website all day. Half a day, tops. So how else do you keep entertained? Not by watching DStv, that we know. They’re showing Jetsons: The Movie and we’re smack in between two cricket tests. Desperate times, indeed. Here’s help.

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This is a cautionary tale. You get new hair, and your life will change. This is the news: Jacques Kallis crashed his Audi R8 (excellent taste, JK) supercar into his neighbour’s gate at 02h30 this morning. Now let it be known, hair implants will increase your self-confidence to dangerous levels.

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Irish people are generally funny. And I’m allowed to say that, because my mother is Irish. So when someone tells you that you have funny irishmen on your hands, you know that something special is in the offing. Presenting the Rubberbandits, an irish comedic duo from Limerick. And they have a horse outside.

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I think we can safely say that the Howard Centre in Pinelands is as exciting as waiting in the queue at Home Affairs, so when this old chap appeared infront of me at Pick n Pay I was stunned. Have we found the hive leader?

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Man, I don’t want to sound like your grandpa complaining about saggy pants, the violent youth and how terrible television is now that they don’t have sexist cigarette advertisements anymore, but god damn I am not a fan of saggy pants. It’s like walking through soup. Made of pants.

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Checkers have made well-known South African socialite, fashion designer and aspiring chef (that’s kok in Afrikaans, I’ll have you know), Nataniel their go-to guy for meat-product advertisment. As you can see, they like to push it pretty hard.

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Afrikaans has been the du jour global parody language of 2010, sonder a doubt (we’re looking at you, Die Antwoord).

So it’s only fair that we round out the year with an Afrikaans parody of The Lonely Island’s beloved Dick In A Box SNL skit.

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First she tries to bite his head off but her flimsy little jaw can’t manage then she puts him under her stiletto and rams his fluffy head into the stage. Getting emotional here. Everybody’s cheering then the Gaga woman screams ”I hate the Holidays!” at the top of her lungs. Full on tears now. I’m crying.

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American reality TV and sex-tape star Kim Kardashian poses for fans at the Rand Club in Johannesburg. Kim and her sister Khloe are in the country for the launch of Brutal Fruit’s new flavour called ‘Cherry Porn Cranberry.’ (Photo by Gallo Images/City Press/Lucky Nxumalo)

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I have feared this for years. What happens if one day you switch off the television, but the McDonalds logo is still burnt into the back of your corneas, and it won’t go away until you buy the Biggest Mac that there ever was? Well, that day is today friends. Sort of. Once in a theatre in Germany.

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Kim and sis Khloe were stranded in Cape Town on the weekend and tweeted about it throughout their ordeal. There were talk of peeing, cries for help and a surreal tubular reference.
A Christmas reunion on someone’s dad’s side hanged in the balance as sad faces flew all over the place. It was a wild, wild ride.

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Well, obviously. It does most weekends. Mostly it talked about don’t-ask-don’t-tell being repealed, which is splendid – but I was focusing more on what was being said about bikes. Bikes and cars. Bikes and cars and pedestrians, and their relationship to one another. The word ‘prawn’ was implied, but not quite stated.

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Independent Newspapers has been providing us with little gems of unintentional wordplay for years now. And when they’re not reporting that X politician has been fingered by Y investigative body (how many times could you withstand that kind of interrogation before you cracked?), they’re making pictorial gaffs. Please enjoy this little piece of joy.

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