So. ‘Phoenix Jones,’ some dude in Seattle who wears a cape/mask outfit and stops crime with a stun gun and fists got his nose broken over the weekend after trying to stop a night-time brawl. Surprise! Local police have advised Jones and the rest of his super-team (‘Red Dragon’ & ‘Buster Joe’) to stop getting involved in dangerous situations.

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South African police commissioner and original gangsta Bheki Cele was really impressed with his police work yesterday when he swooped down from on high in his mighty helicopter.

The target of his wrath was a house in the township of Katlehong, East of Johannesburg, where police minions had found a large arms cache.

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A judge put his foot down and ended the trial between the Associated Press and Shepard Fairey, the artist who painted 2008’s most famous image. The AP said the dead beat (their words) artist took their photograph and copied it with crayons and pens and things. He said are you crazy, it’s art. They said are you crazy, it looks exactly the same. I don’t think the judge had a choice.

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I don’t know how to feel about this. I loved Fight Club the way you love an eccentric uncle; it was weird and it stank of smoke and made people feel uncomfortable, but it was awesome. The fact that it’s director, David Fincher wants to revisit it is great; the whole ‘musical’ angle is where I start panicking.

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UK student, Edward Woollard, has been sentenced to two years and eight months behind bars for violent disorder. What kind of violent disorder, you might ask? The kind of violent disorder that sees you lob a large fire extinguisher at the potentially mushy heads of policemen eight stories below you. And he got very close. Watch the video after the break.

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Michael Douglas has beaten cancer and says it’s largely thanks to the strong genes bestowed upon him by his father, Kirk. Kirk Douglas is 94 and still as strong as a canary. Michael Douglas’s mother is pushing 90. If my calculations are correct that means he will live for at least 30 more years.

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If you’re planning a trip to Acapulco Mexico in the hopes of getting into the Mexican drug-trade, it’s best that you have a rethink; as it appears that the drug cartels in Mexico really are as horrifically and creatively violent as they are on TV.

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If you’re big into conspiracy theories about how the United Stated government spends its time covering up the dastardly deeds that it commits, perhaps it’s time for a rethink. It appears that the US government can’t even keep secret their plan to stop their secrets from getting leaked.

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Your buddy calls you up and asks if you want to join him and 32 others to stand around in your underwear on the three fifteen to Blackheath. Says he read about it on Facebook. You tell him to go screw himself, right? Wrong. You ask him what colour boxers he’ll be wearing because you take Facebook very, very seriously.

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Chatter on the street is that Prince William’s stag party is going down at the Fez in Cape Town. Nothing’s confirmed at this point, but the rationale for the speculation is rather convincing. Click through for more.

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Here we have a video of a small creek in an obscure part of Queensland, Australia, transforming from a benign trickle into a hellish monster comprised chiefly of speed, water, mud, and cars from this office’s parking lot. The footage is intense, but the awesome Australian accents are pretty distracting.

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This is from the internet, so I can’t promise that it’s real – but I hope it is. I really do. Apparently this guy got fired from a Domino’s pizza chain for walking in drunk or otherwise chemically affected and the results – well. Read the termination letter yourself, I beg you. It’s beautiful.

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Soon after we published the story that property development tycoon, Rob Taylor, was suspected of having perished by suicide by leaping off Table Mountain, online conversations around the incident began to reveal a number of curious, if not unnerving details of the circumstances leading up to Taylor’s death.

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Rob Taylor, the property tycoon from Howick (KZN) who donated his R2,03 million Audi R8 to two car guards at the base of Table Mountain in January of 2010, is suspected of committing suicide by leaping from the base of the top cable car station on Sunday evening.

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A laboratory in Israel is spending its research grant on the very creepy task of harvesting the tears of sad women. According to Shani Gelstein, scientist and tear collector, men found pictures of women less sexually attractive just after smelling the tears of women.

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The folks at the Super Top Secret advertising firm are taking any Ed Hardy or Affliction t-shirt you send them and donating the clothing to the homeless. We like to keep our bird/stone ratio pretty solid here at 2ov, so the possibility of lowering the global douchebag quotient and helping out the lower-income brackets appeals.

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I know, I was surprised too. Some dudes in Canada decided to hurl a couple of bottles of flouroscein into the Goldstream River, turning the whole thing bright flouro green. Way to one-up the Old Testament, Canada. I thought you guys were supposed to be nice.

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Paul Mason, once the most grossly obese man on the planet, wants to sue Britain’s National Health Service for “letting him grow”. At one stage Mason weighed in at very nearly 410 Kg, but after gastric-bypass surgery the virtually waif-like Mason now weighs 235 Kg.

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This is a novel idea from our ruling party: Move the end of year party to the start of the year, stretch it out over a weekend and end the whole thing with a concentrated celebration bash at the Moses Mabhida stadium. Add class to the event by serving Jack Daniel’s honey-glazed boerewors and subsidising the liquor. Now who said governing shouldn’t be fun?

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Skulls in lighthouses, unidentified bodies on Table Mountain, and mass food poisonings in Somerset West – it’s been a fairly strange three days in Cape Town.

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Britney Spears’s latest single, “Hold It Against Me” leaked on the internet. I gave it a listen. It’s doef-doef with Britney singing about rubbing up on someone accompanied by some catchy backing tracks. Nothing new and we’ll probably hear it a million times the next 100 weeks or so. What is surprising though, is the unidentified woman in the artwork released with the single.

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At 12:00PM on Saturday, the 8th of January 2011, three monstrously tough unicyclists and their support car will arrive in at Mouille Point lighthouse after completing a 44-day off-road tour, from Durban to Cape Town, on UNICYCLES.

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Nompumelelo Ntuli-Zuma is one of the wives of South African President, Jacob Zuma. Allegations emerged last year of an affair between Ntuli-Zuma and one of her body guards, who committed suicide in the wake of the allegations. Ntuli-Zuma claims her baby looks like JZ. Well sure, but…

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Look, we all knew it was coming. The end of the world might be the original case of not if, but when. The Apocalypse is here, guys. They even made a movie about it with a typo reading 2012 where it should have said 2011.

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Kim Jong Il, the bluebird on the arc of the rainbow, the morning stag – Our Dear Leader – has offered the simpering worms, South Korea, an olive branch of peace. Will South Korea take that branch, or will they perish in a Sea Of Flame?

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You probably read in this morning’s spice about the Saffer who played Obama’s mama in a movie and then got busted. Now, we’re used to hearing of Saffers smuggling contraband abroad but never against the backdrop of a movie featuring a young Obama playing albasters. So here, free of charge, is that movie’s trailer. An indie flick. Made in Indo. Starring a model junkie. Compulsory viewing, really.

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Great song lyrics are almost impossible to master. And that’s before they’ve even been weaved into a perfect melody. When the two come together it’s alchemy. Some songwriters only manage it once in their lifetimes. We have a name for them. Hands up who knows what it is. Writing a great lyric seems like it […]

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This is just a little glimpse for all of you of how a “gift drop” normally goes down at 2oceansvibe Radio. Also, it’s a fairly accurate glimpse into our hectic, terrible work conditions. We’re basically enslaved, I’m not sure if you know. If you have any spicy pics of Rich Hardiman on the beach in […]

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When you hear the name Josh Groban, the violin line from “You Raise Me Up” starts wilting away in your head, hey? That’s because that was the only song that guy frigging sang for about two years. But hey, all power too him – the man is fabulously succesful nowadays. And with all that record […]

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Man, am I glad I’m not a 2010 matric. Sure, they got the holiday of their lives when the World Cup came along, but that was quickly followed by their teachers striking for months. It wasn’t very long after that the self-same teachers said right, let’s sit some exams. Naturally the press is alleviating the stress of this situation by telling matriculants that they won’t find jobs.

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