You may have heard of Groundhog Day and if you saw my article last week then you will also know that because Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow this year, Spring will come early to the US.

But Groundhog day is also a movie where Bill Murray finds himself perpetually waking up on the same Groundhog Day morning, over and over again.

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Beer. Nectar of the Gods. Liquid Grace was crafted for humankind to take the edge off any week. We all know that, but just how strong do ‘they’ make it? Well it turns out that the World’s Strongest Beer went on sale yesterday and the name will bring a wry smile to one member of the Sharks squad.

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The memoir of former US defense secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, is to be released soon. In it he says that he ‘made a misstatement’ when he claimed for the first time that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. How long did his lawyers search for this synonym for lying?

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But obviously that’s not all. That wouldn’t be spicy enough. Apparently The Hawks are also looking for more than 100 live crocodiles which have disappeared from a farm near Ga-Rankuwa, north of Pretoria, a spokesman said on Monday. Steve Irwin would be proud.

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“And you can tell everybody, he is your boyfriend.” See what I did there? Kids today can’t actually remember a time when Elton John still pretended to be straight. But times have changed, and this list of the Top 50 Gay Male Musicians includes members of Vampire Weekend, Bloc Party, and Sigur Rós.

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Huh. Well this just opens up a whole can of worms, doesn’t it? Sexy, mentally handicapped worms. A High Court judge ruled that ‘Alan,’ who’d been in a relationship with another fellow, lacks “the capacity to consent to and engage in sexual relations.” Choose your own punchline – there are so many.

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When I watched the World Cup opening concert last year I couldn’t believe how bad the Black Eyed Peas were live. I haven’t cringed so much since I saw a kid in a show apologise to the audience for forgetting his lines. It seems though that they have done it again. This time at the Super Bowl no less.

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So we’ve had the the posthumous ‘behind the scenes’ documentary and album, but now it’s time for the video game. And I’m not talking about the arcade game you used to play as a kid. This time you’re gonna have the chance to actually dance alongside everybody’s favourite dead pop star

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It seems Mango cannot get enough of Scarlett Johansson and have kept her on for the 2011 Spring collection. She has been their spokesperson since 2009 and nothing looks set to change anytime soon. The collection is called Modernist Resort. Check it out after the jump.

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Look, there’s no doubt that a fine dining experience can be a memorable occasion. But there comes a time in a man’s working week, and sometime’s in a woman’s, even, when a sinking realisation settles in the pit of your stomach. We’re talking about the need to have a “chow” and where you can get one with a draught beer for under fifty bucks.

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The Russian donkey that won worldwide sympathy last July after being forced to parasail has died of a heart attack. The donkey, named Anapka, made headlines when she was attached to a parachute at a Russian beach and launched into the sky for an outrageous promotional stunt. I guess that’s where we’re different, in Russia they use donkeys, and over here we use Trevor Noah.

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It’s not often I get to say: “Look at this guy, he built a real death ray”. But luckily now I can say it.

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Feeling bad about buying, say, “Ass” products for example, and the related ethical practices involved in their manufacture? Well, you no longer need to worry my friends, because as usual, there is now an app available to clear up any confusion you may have had prior to deciding on your now, ethical purchase.

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Be thankful for the fact that we’ve only had one incident in recent history where our national anthem was raped with supporting video evidence. Ras Dumisani – I’m looking at you. But, as usual, the Americans are leading the pack, and can even boast a “Top 10” of all the kak attempts by celebrities to make Star-Spangled Banner “their own”.

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The Malawian government has had enough of people farting wherever they want. Malawian lawmakers will next week debate a law change that will make letting one rip in public a criminal offence. They’re not trying to be funny – they just want people to fart in toilets. They’ll get around to delivering those toilets when they’ve sorted out the farting.

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Ha. Some kid called Jack Weppler broke up with his girlfriend, so she put a truckload of embarassing Lolcat-style photos of him online – and tweaked it so that they’d all show up if somebody tried to Google him. So hey, that’s something new to worry about.

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I came across this rather grisly story while watching the pilot of Boardwalk Empire this morning, which (by the way) is blaaaady marvellous viewing. Robert Kubica, the Formula 1 Renault driver, was badly injured in a rally crash in Italy on Sunday. And by ‘badly injured’ I mean surgeons had to reattach veins, tendons and muscles in his arm to save it.

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Friday night was mental, Saturday was spent recovering in the Breede and the evening was again off the charts. Catherine from 5fm called Up the creek “the best festival in South Africa”. I tend to agree.

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Do you remember the infamous now ex-Zimbabwean Finance Minister Christopher Kuruneri and his clever property purchases in Llandudno a while back? Well, now in a twist of fate, and getting out of jail free once, Kuruneri will finally make his next move on Thursday after Robert Mugabe played him into a cul-de-sac, and a submissive play in 2007.

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Awesome: The Vietnamese recently celebrated a lunar New Year. Not so awesome: The power went out. Awesome: Some friends improvised by pulling an actual car into the house and letting it run in order to jam some tunes. Not so awesome: No one thought to open a window.

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There’s a new Old Spice ad. There were some details about it being dedicated to Chris Gatewood, winner of the Old Spice ‘Superfan’ contest, but you don’t really care about that, surely – you just want to see Isaiah Mustafa make you want to buy things that smell delicious, don’t you?

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The British may have invented the missionary position but boy do they deserve credit for the latest kinky curio to celebrate their Royals. Self proclaimed leading supplier of heritage prophylactics, Crown Jewels Condoms Of Distinction, produced and already sold 1 000 purple boxes of condoms featuring a picture of Prince William staring lovingly into Kate’s eyes. Tasty.

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Nasa has discovered a new habitable planetary system. Needless to say, calling the new system part of the Kepler-11 is mildly ironic considering what is being sent to orbit the pitches and dressing rooms of the approaching Cricket World Cup. But we won’t go there and that’s not what this is about either, it’s much more important.

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Do you remember the 2010 Currie Cup semi-final between the Bulls and the Sharks? If you didn’t watch it, you may remember it as the game that was interrupted by bees. In the fifteen minutes that we waited for the bees to be cleared, we were subjected to a deluge of puns, which grew significantly […]

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Local video producer, Jaco Wolmarans was lucky enough to engage in a spot of aerial photography and videography recently. He was acting, quite literally, as the wing man (keeping an eye on the horizon for oncoming air traffic) for a colleague of his who was shooting the planes. In between playing lookout he shot this clip.

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The Random Game vibe seems to be gaining a little but of traction, so it is with great happiness that I bring you this week’s installment of Guess The Location. The photo was taken somewhere in the Western Cape, and that’s all you have to work with…That’s such a great example of symbiosis, hey? Just […]

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An immigration officer in the U.K. tried to rid himself of his wife by adding her name to a list of terrorist suspects. What really upsets me here isn’t the abuse of power, but the fact that he didn’t think of outsourcing his expertise to the hordes of miserable husbands all over the world before being caught.

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Local Cape Town band, I Scream And The Chocolate Stix are putting out what looks to be a fairly interestingly-shot reality TV show, with the working title, Making It. So says the YouTube description:

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Here’s a snippet of ‘interesting’ news out of the Tottenham Hotspur’s camp involving two of our local lads. It just so happens that our Bafana Bafana reps have really connected. Despite the fact that Bongani Khumalo reportedly mistook Stevie P’s head for a ball, ‘Arry Redknapp has praised BK’s stellar vibes. True Saffa.

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With the Radlantic continuing its game of lake-lake as far as Windguru will forecast (7 days ahead, actually), rumours of your plastic water bottle causing cancer are bound to peak. No doubt reaching for a sun exposed bottle of warm water will be met with upturned noses and precautionary words. So, hit them with the truth.

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