It’s one thing to be forwarding a funny email on to those that you feel might benefit from the humour you found to be present in said email. But what happens when you’re a big cheese at a major construction and infrastructure development company and the joke is politically incorrect, and you get caught?

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A cop in America has been asked to apologise for suggesting women rather don’t dress like “sluts” if they didn’t want to be sexually assaulted. According to his boss, they have no idea where get gets this from as “officers are taught that nothing a woman does contributes to a sexual assault.”

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On Monday we ran a story about Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, the king of Bahrain, granting each family in his kingdom 20k in a brilliant attempt at reverse psychology. But apparently the people of Bahrain are bigger Tracy Chapman fans than he thought, as they are now also “talkin’ ’bout a revolution.”

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I love the internet. So we told you last week about Detroit’s Mayor, Dave Bing, shooting down the RoboCop statue proposal, and the KickStarter initiative that was trying to build the thing anyway. Well, they’ve raised the necessary $50,000 in a little under a week, so you know. Your move, Bing.

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In a masterclass for all students of subliminal advertising, ex-president (and convicted criminal) of Madagascar, Marc Ravalomanana (say it quickly) announced his imminent return from exile in South Africa to Madagascar.

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Poor , Ezperanza Spalding- I don’t know who she is either, but apparently she’s won “Best New Artist” at Sunday’s Grammys, despite Justin Bieber being the overwhelming favourite. This has sparked outrage amongst Bieber’s fans or “Beliebers” as they are known, and they have called for her head.

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Let’s get this straight; 3D is just another means of resurrecting a spluttering film industry by charging you double the price for films with half the plot. Hollywood’s done it before, and they’ll keep doing it. But, just in case you needed another reason to hate 3D, turns out that Nazis were watching 3D propaganda films long before Avatar.

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Our friends from the eastern side of the world have long been known to be rather enterprising with the way that they decimate the ocean to sustain their fish needs. A photographer has been able to reveal their latest shocking technique: cyanide poisoning free-divers.

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When it comes to the window business, double glazing seems to be a cut-throat affair. A UK company offering such services has been accused of doing pretty much anything from threatening old people with fines, “green taxes” and even “putting their head in a vice grip and watching them bleed to death.”

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By which I mean, Banksy has been hitting various billboards and street-corners in Los Angeles with culture-bending graffiti. As ever. I mean it’s a little weird that the anti-establishment dude has been promoting his Oscar nomination, but on the up-side, we get some pretty cool art out of it.

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It’s not every day that you hear a story as near to some seriously horrific fiction as this: A Durban woman has been accused of the murder of her boyfriend after throwing toilet acid over him.

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Eating out of dust bins has been all the rage here in South Africa for quite a while now and our rubbish is sorted by bergies long before it even reaches the recycling area back at the depot. Now, a certain Sasha Hall has been arrested in the UK for “theft by finding.”

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This morning’s headlines: The Berlusconi case keeps getting creepier and Hustler announce they’re developing Harry Potter porn, entitled “This Ain’t Harry Potter”. Wow, the return of Beavis and Butt-Head sounds remarkably savoury. Yup, they’re back and they’ll still be watching Whitesnake tribute music videos. Oh, and Jersey Shore.

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We’ve basically spent the whole day crashing around the office in a state of glee, playing Intern Skittles (we’ll explain the rules at a later stage), Intern Pinata, and Pin The Tale On The Intern. And it’s all in aid of celebrating a special boy’s birthday!

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We bring you this week’s installment of Sex In The Mother City! Kira and the girls head out to a party, and, for the first time in a long time, Kira finds herself in the position of designated driver. But with all the ex trouble she’s experiencing, she may be jonesing for a cocktail sooner […]

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An old man has virtually done the impossible and survived a five day ordeal in the Arizona Desert near a little spot they call Cave Creek, which is rather ironic. Hank Morello managed to do this by eating his left-over pasta and drinking his windscreen wiper water. Did I mention he also has mild dementia and diabetes?

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We cannot choose how or when that limousine from heaven gets sent down to fetch us. But I sincerely hope that a) I’ll be wearing clean underwear at the time, and b) that I don’t end up like this woman – she died at work, and her slumped body just sat there in the office cubicle for another day before anyone noticed.

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The great thing about this business conference (coming to Cape Town on 18 and 19 February) is that it a) is not a thinly veiled pyramid scheme hazing ceremony b) is not a thinly veiled cult hazing ceremony c) is not boring beyond your capacity to sustain life.

Check out the details of an exciting upcoming Cape Town entrepreneurship conference after the jump.

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Yes, I know, me and everybody’s grandma used ‘there’s an app for that’ as the headline, but that’s because me and everybody’s grandma have an awesome sense of humour. New York’s Health Department released a smartphone app for finding free condom distribution points via GPS on Monday.

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If you think about it, music is simply data ordered in a specific way by a clever human and then executed by either man or machine. So why not take some existing data from a very clever machine and see if it makes music? Well that’s what the very very clever people at CERN have done.

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A new Thai airline, P.C. Air (appropriate that), is set to become the first airline in the world to employ openly transsexual flight attendants. Thailand is known for its tolerance of transvestites and transsexuals, known locally as ‘katoeys’ or ‘ladyboys’. But, up till now, the only jobs available to them have been in the beauty and ‘entertainment’ industries.

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Somehow, Steven Krumholz of West Hollywood managed to sneak a large amount of drugs aboard the MS Allure of the Seas (that’s not a joke name) for what was billed as the world’s largest gay cruise. Authorities discovered his on-board party shop a little too late, though.

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Wow, this kid in America is pretty hardcore! And not only because he probably OWNS Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. No, he actually killed his own mother while she was sleeping because she punished him by taking his PlayStation away.

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Sort of. HP recently released a study looking under the hood of Twitter’s ‘Trending Topics’ function – revealing (gasp) that most of the time, popular topics get broadcast by major media twitter accounts, then amplified by their followers, rather than some wanky cloud-based news system.

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A new record for the longest kiss in history has been set by a married Thai couple, Ekkachai and Laksana Tiranarat, who were one of 14 couples to take part in a “kissathon” in Pattaya, Thailand.

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It was certainly an ironic sight to see Gennaro Gatusso with a captain’s armband and a ‘respect’ badge on one sleeve, while the other arm was firmly clasped around Joe Jordan’s neck.

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A Constantia Uitsig Wine Estate development application to extend the commercial nature of the business it conducts is being opposed by the Constantia Property Owners Association (CPOA). Why? Because 30 new residential houses and 12 new hotel rooms being built will result in, like more traffic. And like, effect the environment and, like, its World Heritage Site chances.

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What is even more shocking is the fact that this teacher has more than 20 years worth of experience. And if you are wondering why the headline reads “curry” and “Asian kids” instead of “rice” and “Asian kids”, remember Pakistan and Bangladesh is also in Asia.

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What did you get for Valentine’s? The Colombian Navy got a submarine built by drug smugglers in the Timbiqui shipyard. Well I mean the seized it. It wasn’t a gift. Authorities say the sub was meant to transport about 7,000kg of cocaine into Mexico. So there were some pretty disappointed Mexican Valentines, I guess.

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If you’ve been charged with rape, it’s best that you don’t post on your Facebook profile that you need a hitman, ASAP, to help sort out the victim of your alleged crime. It’s especially a bad idea if that person can see your Facebook page.

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