Just when you thought the institution of marriage couldn’t become more of a joke, now you can get out of one at the price of dinner and a movie. Thanks to the internet, you can now file for divorce without having to log out of your latest quest on World Of Warcraft. What a pleasure.

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Shell claims its SA exploration for shale gas in the Karoo will use safe techniques not known to harm the environment and “vows” not to pollute Karoo water. But since when is hydraulic fracturing a safe technique?

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The professor did what? Yes, I also mumbled it back to myself in trepidation when I came across this little beauty. An actual sex demo, with a toy, was conducted for a class of psychology students at Northwestern University in Illinois in the States this week. Taking it to the next level prof, next level.

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Charlie Sheen has just been awarded the Guinness World Record for “Fastest Time to Reach 1 Million Followers on Twitter” Yes, in case you missed it, that was another win. And it only took him 25 hours and 17 minutes.

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Yesterday,social cyclists taking part in a Critical Mass event in Sao Paulo, Brazil, we’re struck and injured by a vehicle accelerating through the crowd of cyclists. How no one was killed in the process is mystifying, and the only bright spot on this whole affair. Police have arrested a suspect.

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They can do that now. By ‘they’ I mean ‘those with money and de facto power,’ obviously, not specifically the heads of the PRC – but I mean government scrutiny of human movement is being implemented on a huge, huge scale. It’s called the Information Platform of Real-time Citizen Movement – which sounds like a good and reasonable platform.

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Most of us have been hounded by debt collectors at some point in our lives, but I doubt anyone has ever had their debt scrapped because of it. Yet a judge in Britain set aside a debt of over R200,000 in an effort to reprimand collectors for “torturing” their customer.

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I’m not even going to bother with an introduction to what the one-man wrecking ball Charlie Sheen has been up to recently, because the chances are that if you are alive you already know. But as it is Friday I thought I would share this piece of comedy gold with you.

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Long-time 2oceansvibe readers will be aware of our mild allergy to offensive cyclists – you know, the chaps who cruise in to cafes on Saturday morning, sweat gushing from their epidermis, balls cupped by spandex, which are at eye level as they walk in. But we never said anyone should drive at full speed into a crowd of cyclists.

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In the age of information, nothing can be kept in the dark anymore. These are the so called controversial Google Earth photos that initially set off Bahraini protests of inequality back in 2006. And when you see them, you’ll know why.

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Oh, you didn’t know that cabinet has already approved this little racial nugget? Well, basically it’s just waiting for a few more signatures now before it forces change upon us. According to the SA Institute of Race Relations, who kindly did crunch the numbers for everyone, a lot of job loss and not much job creation is in order.

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The offices of the public protector were raided out of the blue yesterday by a Police Crime Intelligence Unit. Coincidently, the public protector also very recently released a report linking National Commissioner General Bheki Cele to a dodgy R500 million property deal. Bheki Cele’s office, however, claims to not know about it and promises to take “urgent steps”. Go on, give us another one then!

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Well, I’m pretty proud of that headline. Cornell University and the French Culinary Institute have developed a food printer that runs off puree and spits out sculptures – like rocketships made of gouda and scallions. And now we can have coconut sans awful coconut texture.

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In a dramatic turnaround, Pope Benedict XVI said sorry for all the years that the Catholic Church has been blaming the death of Jesus on the Jews.

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Thanks Kim, now when my kids ask me about music back in my day, I somehow have to keep a straight face while telling them how much better it was. But seriously now, this song is bad, like so bad it’s magnificent.

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Racist fisticuffs are breaking out everywhere like the pimples on a young man’s greasy teenage skin. If it wasn’t enough when Kuli had a go at the coloureds, now the big guns have greased up their bodies with baby oil and are basically free wrestling with each other in the media.

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This has not been a great couple of days for Kuli Roberts. Apart from calls for her public lynching, and curses placed on her mother’s private parts, she has also lost her weekly newspaper column. But she is expected to make a public apology on her TV show, Headline, this evening – details and time inside.

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German research facility BrainDriver has put together a kit that lets people make rudimentary driving commands with their brains – you know, without using their hands. I have serious concerns about how this system deals with those brief suicidal thoughts that tend to pop up when knee-deep in traffic on the 9/5 commute.

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If you haven’t heard yet, government spokesman, Jimmy Manyi said recently that he thinks that there is an oversupply of coloured folk in the Western Cape, and that perhaps it is best if they’d shift around a bit. He made the remarks on kykNET last year when he said: “So this over-concentration of coloureds in the Western Cape is not working for them.”

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For those of you who don’t already know, there’s a new Afrikaans vampire movie currently in production, Bloedsuier! And in a rather bold move to secure funding producers are now calling on fans to become investors in the movie.

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Try this old chestnut on for size: prevention is better than cure. It is also said that hindsight is 20/20. Some Gmail users will be experiencing the emotional mechanics of these two philosophical musings after the online email giant “lost” the entire contents of 148 000 user accounts earlier in the week. We thought we’d share a little advice.

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In case you guys were worried that you wouldn’t be seeing Anne Hathaway in vinyl leather anytime soon, fear not: Hathaway has confirmed that she’s been cast as Selina Kyle in The Dark Night Rises, the third in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy. Please don’t talk about Halle Berry.

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Here’s a fact about that hamburger patty on your Maccy D’s burger: it does not come from a singular cow named Bessie. Instead, the likelihood of her meat, along with 20 other of her friends all ground up together and pressed into a patty is pretty strong. There’s also the possibility that the butcher might have used chimp meat.

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Well here’s some sport’s news from those kooky guys in fun-lovin’ Iran. The world’s craziest government has now decided that the 2012 London Olympic Games logo is racist.

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You read that headline and thought, why should I care? Well I’ll tell you why, cause giant holes in the moon are a big deal, especially since they present an amazing real-estate opportunity.

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Shhh… Do you hear that? It’s the sound of hippies everywhere rejoicing at the new-school Volkswagen Kombi. The iconic vehicle, which first debuted in 1950, was a favorite at this week’s Geneva Motor Show and comes with a whole lot of new goodies.

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A computer glitch has been held responsible for the poker machine-like behaviour a number of Australian Commonwealth Bank ATMs displayed yesterday. Sydney saw queues of up to 50 people assembling to have a go at the machines. This obviously attracted a police presence because many simply couldn’t contain themselves.

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A Danish study has found that 70% of us find downloading files illegally from the net to be morally okay. No shit, hey? But here’s the twist: the same study, conducted a decade ago, had the same results.I somehow don’t think those gritty, hyper-cool ads telling us that downloading a movie is as bad as stealing a handbag helped.

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The Facebook programmers are busily working away on new features that give third-party developers and external websites the ability to access users’ home addresses and cellphone numbers. Now isn’t that charming?

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Anonymous, the online sort-of-anarchic sort-of-activist group, forced Aaron Barr, head of HBGary Federal, the massive American tech security company, to resign. Which is sort of a huge deal in the way that Charlie Sheen isn’t. Even though I love everything that Charlie Sheen touches.

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