What’s in my bag? Free songs by Fire Through The Window, ekhouvanjou, okay! and Sergeant Fu. Step inside…

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News is depressing today, so let’s look at this. GM commissioned the construction of a life-size replica of their Chevrolet Orlando, soon to be launched in the UK; they used about 1000kg of clay to build it over a course of two weeks. It’ll be on display in Essex for a couple more days.

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It’s one thing to be a billionaire in say, Zimbabwean dollars. It’s quite another to be a billionaire in US dollars. The 2011 Forbes list of wealthiest people, released this week, includes four South African US dollar billionaires out of a total of 14 Africans on the rich list. Here’s the line-up of our wealthiest locals…

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Angry Birds is probably the most popular mobile game at the moment and I am entirely hooked. I have stopped shaving and I don’t bath anymore. I am literally covered in my own filth and surrounded by empty McDonalds Happy Meal boxes. But I finally did take a break when I saw Conan O’Brien’s life-size version of the game. Enjoy.

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On this the official hour of the application of the Cape Town Friday Rule, we thought we would spoil you a little. Yes, he’s doing a cooking show because he’s winning television right now. And with lines like: “I killed this cow myself, winners stalk and kill their food without earthly weapons,” get ready for some winning recipes.

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I think this might be the best excuse ever. No, really. A Canadian man claims that he only visited child porn websites in order to gather information to send to the authorities. He also downloaded 4 400 images in an attempt to prevent others from doing so – because, you know, once you download something from the internet no one else can.

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The response to the initial recruitment drive was phenomenal. It seems quite a lot of peeps out there want to learn how to use their cameras on manual mode. And so you should! Just to recap, the “University of Cape Town (UCT) Digital Photography Course.”is part of the famous GetSmarter courses you’ve been hearing about. […]

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A magnitude 8.9 earthquake off the coast of Japan has triggered an immensely destructive tsunami at 14h46 local time. Footage has been shown of cars, ships and buildings being swept away in Onahama city. Officials said a wave as high as 6m could strike the coast.

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Saeed Yare is a dollar multi-millionaire and I am not. The difference between us: I am but a lowly writer and he is a pirate.

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Did you know that our ruling party just dropped their new album? It’s all part of their local elections campaign, and it’s totally awesome. No, really, forget the new Radiohead or Lady Gaga, this is what you should be listening to right now…

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This is just pure class. Sit back and enjoy as Jimmy Kimmel presents the true story of George W. Bush and his lifelong battle with the English language. An uplifting tale of how an inept president overcame his disability thanks to one unlikely speech therapist.

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We love a good mug shot here over at 2oceansvibe. Paris Hilton’s array still being amongst our favourites, admittedly, but this dude is rolling with quite a mesmerising vibe. Half a ‘fro actually. We’re sure there’ll be a couple of guys on the inside having a good laugh at his expense.

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He might have been competent enough to run a major theatre in South Africa, but someone forgot to mention to Matjamela Motloung that when you type anti-Semitic rants on your Facebook page, other people can also read the statement. And they can make screenshots of the rant, which can be emailed to news outlets in a heartbeat. Read the quote that got him fired inside.

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In a press conference in Dharamsala, India, His Holiness the Dalai Lama announced that he’d be stepping down as political leader of the Tibetan government in exile, to make way for an elected representative. He will be retaining his position as Tibet’s spiritual leader.

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In typical Pakistani/ Bangladeshi style, the good people of Bangladesh have seen it fit to stone the house of their captain Shakib Al Hasan, after their humiliating defeat to the West Indies in the World Cup.

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South African band aKING will rock the Fugard Theatre in Cape Town tonight as they launch their third album, “The Red Blooded Years”. The album, described by the band as “effortless and balanced”, is included in the ticket price of R150. How’s that for effortless?

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Links between these two high rollers have been gossiped about and reported on before. It’s no big secret that shortly after his 2006 arrest on rape charges, JZ made a shimmy over to Tripoli for five days where he met with Colonel Gaddafi. Now JZ and the Colonel have had a little phone conversation.

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Have you ever walked on a road with your bare feet in summertime, and noticed how much heat the tar holds? That heat is an expression of solar energy, received from the sun, held in the conducive asphalt, and radiated back on to your toes. We’re wasting that energy, but hopefully for not much longer.

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Politicians cheat on occasion, and I don’t just mean at cards. Sometimes they sleep with people that they’re not married to. Sometimes politicians condemn their peers for adultery, only to be caught in the very same act some time later.

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Well, I mean not totally – it’s the evidence found on Facebook as grounds for the dissolution of marriage which causes 20% of all divorce cases in the US, but still. Big number. Increasingly, social networking sites form the primary source of evidence in custody battles and divorce proceedings, so heads up.

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After the earthquake that hit New-Zealand last month the Canterbury Crusaders have been left without a home venue, as it’s in pretty bad shape. So the Crusaders asked the Sharks if they’d be keen to play the game in London instead.

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Top management in our extremely effective police force were asked yesterday in Parliament how they happened to lose 20 429 weapons. Click through for facepalming disappointment.

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Aside from hunting, interbreeding and kicking back in caves, looks like our ancestors were totally into hallucinogenics. Researchers have been analysing cave paintings in Spain, and have come to the conclusion that our long lost relatives weren’t adverse to dabbling with ‘magic mushrooms’ from time to time.

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Everybody loves a little bit of sensationalism, especially when the majority of news starts becoming rather bland and repetitive. Take for example the way The Sun headlined this piece: “Disaster as moon closes in” – awesome vibe. Fact is though, that no disaster should technically happen and surfers should actually be getting amped for a mission, bru.

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The winning just doesn’t stop. The Gregory Brothers, famous for shredding and stretching popular Youtube videos into very catchy pop songs with visuals, has taken Charlie’s winning to the next level. Find their video and other Charlie spoofs after the click. After that thank me for making your day.

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Wow. Okay. So a Swedish company wants to make burials more eco-friendly by freezing dead people in liquid nitrogen, using sound waves to shatter the ice before drawing all the moisture out of the remains with a vacuum. Because the Swedish word for ‘eco-friendly’ also means ‘traumatic’ and ‘awesome.’

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Fearing for his life, Mr. Timothy James Chapek locked himself in the bathroom of a house he’d broken into and dialed 911. He told the operator that he had broken into the house and that he was afraid that the owner may have a gun.

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You’d be surprised at how many businesses are fond of censoring free speech in their workplaces. Following last year’s banning of the 2oceansvibe site in Virgin Active gyms, a recent study completed by OpenDNS has uncovered the ten most blacklisted websites by businesses around the world. You may or may not be surprised by the list.

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That’s right, camel milk demand is on the up and the word is getting out. Demand from diabetic patients, parents of autistic children and sufferers of Crohn’s disease has resulted in them becoming their own powerful lobbyists. Internationally that is. So when will camel milk sail into the mainstream market here at home I wonder?

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You’ve probably heard the news that Justin Bieber appeared on an episode of CSI. What they didn’t tell you is that he looks exactly like a lesbian who got punched in the eye after losing a game of pool, and that he gets killed by the CSI cops. We’ve got spectacular visuals for both – after the break.

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