As if we didn’t have enough public holidays already, here’s another one. May the 18th is the day of the local government elections and great president Zuma has declared it a public holiday, so we can all vote, safe in the knowledge that another day in the country’s economy won’t be productive at all.

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Crusty rocker Bryan Adams is about to become a dad for the first time. At 51, Adams – who is responsible for nostalgic pop anthems ‘Summer of 69′ and ’18 Til I Die’ – clearly believes it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. Or, for that matter, to have a child.

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Gauteng’s top brass are being flushed out again for misappropriation of taxpayers’ money. This time it’s totalling a little over R12 million since 2005 on lavish refurbishments and renovations to the official Bryanston residence of the Gauteng Premier.

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Finally, some good news out of Japan! Imagine being a Japanese foreign student in America, having no way of knowing if your family on the other side of the world survived the tsunami that rocked the region last week, until you find a YouTube video, confirming their survival. It’s okay, I also had to wipe my eyes afterward.

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This has been generating some online discussion – a video of a dude hijacking billboards in Times Square using an iPhone 4, a transmitter, a balloon and some tape, like a geeky MacGyver. The feeling at the moment is that this is a publicity stunt, but if so it’s an awesome-looking stunt.

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Umshini Wam (Bring Me My Machine Gun), a short film directed by Kids writer, Harmony Korine, and starring Die Antwoord’s Ninja and Yo-Landi premiered today at the SXSW festival in Texas. The premise: Ninja and Yolandi are wheelchair-bound,dirt poor gangsters, intent on gaining more street cred by upgrading their wheelchairs for higher-end models.

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When we beat India on Saturday it was a great day for a team that was derided as chokers. And to make things worse, Morné van Wyk dropped three catches, including Virender Sehwag when he was on four. In fact people said he actually looked as if he was asleep. As it turns out, he was.

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A 52 year old woman was arrested in the middle-class suburb of Kenilworth, Cape Town, for dealing in drugs on Monday. She is not alone in her entrepreneurial endeavors. It seems a growing number of grannies are entering the underworld and deceiving the greater public of their criminal tendencies.

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In this girls defense, she does begin her rant off with “no offense”, She goes on to launch a thinly-veiled, racially-charged diatribe, loaded with the kind of epithets that make you wince. I know someone who could benefit from Charm 101.

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At long last, Microsoft has taken their iPod-but-worse MP3 player, the Zune, out behind the shed with a shotgun. Microsoft announced that they would stop making new versions of the music/video player due to “tepid demand.”

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Kobus du Plessis gave his daughter a Winnie The Pooh umbrella he bought for her fifth birthday. The thing is, she’s not five, she’s fifteen. The Durban policeman had tracked down his 15-year-old daughter Zandrea and her sister, Leonie, 18 after their mother vanished overseas with them ten years ago. Check this out.

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We might live in a 3rd Wold country, but at least we don’t have to put up with these guys. The usual suspects like Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong-Il, and Muammar al-Gaddafi can be found on this list, along with seven other monsters, between them responsible for corruption, cannibalism, pedophilia, and the deaths of millions of innocent people.

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Rescue robots have been deployed in the parts of of Japan worst affected by the massive earthquake and tsunamis that struck Friday. Robiticist Satoshi Tadoko is apparently leading a team from Tohoku Universityen route to Sendai with ‘a snakelike robot that can wriggle into debris to hunt for people.’

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The nightmare continues for commuters throughout the Cape Town metropolitan area, due to continued striking by Santaco (the SA National Taxi Council). Violence re-erupted overnight when a bus was set alight and cars were stoned. Police are monitoring the situation but it’s still very hard to catch a taxi.

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Take a deep breath and don’t panic. It’s nothing to be alarmed about and this is why we have eased it in on this beautiful Tuesday afternoon in Cape Town. Unit two actually shut down yesterday already and we thought we’d now explain why you might see it puffing the odd bit of steam from time to time.

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Joe Morello, virtuoso drummer to the Dave Brubeck Quartet and contributor to such legendary recordings as Blue Ronda a la Turk and Take Five died at his New Jersey home on Saturday at the age of 82. No cause of death has yet been announced.

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I told you last week that the English Rugby Football Union (RFU) had said no to hosting the Super 15 game between the Sharks and Crusaders at Twickenham in the wake of 6,5 magnitude earthquake in Christchurch. But now it seems that the RFU may have had a change of heart.

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Last September was a special month for 2010. The calendar was graced by South Africa’s first ever WeLoveRealBeer Craft Beer Festical, which celebrated local food, and small, independent breweries, dedicated to producing artisanal beers. On last year’s billing were 10 small, independent breweries, a motley crew of “home brewers”,  two bands, a DJ, and a collection of […]

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Clearly not satisfied with the launch of their English magazine, Inspire, which first appeared about nine months ago, and included a feature called “How to make a bomb in the kitchen of your Mom”, al Qaeda’s media arm has followed up with a magazine for women, titled “Al-Shamikha”. Apparently the editorial team will be mixing beauty tips with lessons in jihad. No spice.

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The video you are about to see features future doctors, lawyers, and probably a few politicians too. A group of drunk university students decide it is a good idea to thrash someones Maxima in under a minute. Listen out for one of the guys filming the whole thing to say: “Dude, are you serious?”

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Enraged Cape Town taxi strikers resorted to stone throwing this morning, due to controversy surrounding the issuing of operating licences and the “draconian” enforcement of traffic laws. This resulted in police firing rubber bullets at the protestors. There are still no taxis running on the main routes in Cape Town. So that’s been resolved well.

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Firstly, no kids for me thank you very much. Secondly, if you are going to have kids and they turn around to bite you in the arse one day, then that’s the risk you take. But people see things differently in China, and the rate of elderly suicides have tripled in the last decade. In an attempt to curb this, the Chinese government wants to impose a law that will force children to visit their aging parents. If they don’t, their parents can sue them.

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A team of researchers led by professor Richard Freund of the University of Hartford claim to have found Atlantis in Doñana, north of Cadiz, Spain. What makes this hack discovery different is the multi-ringed layout of the site, which fits the account offered by Plato, apparently.

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Producers of a South Korean girl band are claiming that the egg-hatching singer has snatched parts of their song. They claim that her new single “Born This Way” shares “similarities” to one of the songs they wrote.

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You may or may not have noticed the Sunday Times front cover yesterday. The headline was gripping and revealing. One usually sees this when tabloids have a secret they’re unable to keep. This time however, tabloids aside, the headline had every right to froth in its very large font. Behold: “Shaik In Mosque Punch-Up”

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I’m not sure which is sadder. The fact that this guy has spent thousands of rands on getting Julia Roberts’ face inked onto his body, or the fact that he cites Erin Brockovich as his favourite film of all time. More loser pics inside.

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You’re all going to want to take a good look at this. Oh, Zach Galifianakis. Why can’t all chubby-hairy people be like you? Granted, the monologue is mostly spent doing regular awesome Galifianakis stand-up, but it’s very, very good stand-up. Your morning will be better for it. Go on.

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Many a time have my friends and I sat down and battled with our wits, arguing over which comedy movie is the best of all time. We need no longer argue, as the good readers of College Humor have voted on what the top 100 comedies of all time are. I mostly agree , except that Anchorman is number one, fact!

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The Ugandan Media are famous for their outrageous homophobia. Please enjoy the latest flaming, pucker-lipped homosexual red flag leaked from Africa’s most sexually awkward nation. Incredible, actually-published one-liners after the jump.

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Initially instituted as a service to monitor the safety of our local and surrounding shorelines during the World Cup last year, the Long Range Identification and Tracking (LRIT) system is a welcomed spin-off from a successful local concept for maritime protection. It will also help to track shipwrecks and oceanic pollution.

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