After the story we published today about the brutal murder of a pupil in a schoolground, we can understand if you don’t want to read any more grim stories about schoolyard violence – but we have to get this out there if there is any hope of stopping it. We’ve just found a clip of an Eastern Cape School teacher lashing her students after a lesson – it’s pretty rough.

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Xolisile Guquza, a man accused of fraud, appeared in the Specialised Commercial Crime Court on last Wednesday. Xolisile donned a smart outfit for his big day, sporting a blue suit and a pink shirt. However, his sartorial elegance was somewhat overshadowed by what appeared to be a large Nandos paper bag that he put on his head.

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After much anticipation and controversy, the show’s creator and screenwriter, Doug Ellin, has confirmed that the hit show will become a movie. I say anticipation because since the show launched in 2004, it captured everyone’s attention with it’s “one celebrity cameo per show format”, creating a massive worldwide audience.

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The Destroyer. You don’t have to look very far beyond the name of this beast to know that it’s the US navy’s most intimidating weapon. It’s basically an entire army floating in the sea, capable of causing enough damage to completely ruin a small city. And now, the US Navy has just plopped it’s newest destroyer into the sea – the USS Zumwalt.

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A video has surfaced that shows a pupil at Sizimele High School in Dannhauser, KwaZulu-Natal being murdered in full view of other pupils at his school. Bongani Nkabinde was beaten and speared to death in a fight with other pupils. The horrifying attack happened just after pupils attended their morning assembly.

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Apparently October 29 is National Cat Day in the United States. Not being Americans, it’s understandable that no one here knows, or indeed cares. But still, National Cat Day is worth remarking on because yesterday, Uber hand delivered kittens for people to play with if they lived in New York, San Francisco, or Seattle.

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In the past, girls would compare themselves to persons in their vicinity – checking to see who the skinniest girl in the room is, and seeing how they match up. Now, they have the internet for that – and the girls on the internet are way skinnier than anyone you might ever really meet. The proliferation of photo-sharing sites like Pinterest, along with the concept on ‘thinspiration’ has caused mass hysteria as girls across the world attempt to get as skinny as possible – and maybe one day achieving the infamous ‘thigh gap”.

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In the minds of some, babies are just bundles of blubber and tissue with little wisps of hair – totally incapable of doing anything that makes much sense to adults. Those people need to turn around and have a look at this clip. We’re going so far as to say this is one of the best YouTube performances by anyone under the age of five that we’ve ever seen. Yes, that includes Charlie of ‘Charlie Bit My Finger’ fame.

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Could we ever truly live on Mars? The mind boggles at the thought of it – partially because so many questions remain unanswered. Will we be able to come back? Will we be able to breathe up there? It just seemed too implausible to truly happen. But doubt no longer, because we have confirmation from this here infographic that a Mars settlement mission is very much on the cards.

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Some of you might have noticed the hashtag #phonebloks flying around the social media world yesterday, and wondered where the hell it all came from so suddenly. The answer? It was a social media ‘thunderclap’ initiated by Phonebloks. Phonebloks started out as a simple idea just over a month ago. Dave Hakkens, the man behind the idea, basically wanted to create a phone that produced less waste – a phone we could keep.

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“This website uses cookies – please press continue if you would like to proceed”. With any luck, this banner will soon be forgotten by the human race. Some of the biggest sites in the game are finding ways around using cookies – the little bitty pieces of code that marketers deploy to people’s browsers to track their online movements.

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You’ve got to give it up to Kanye. Sure he’s self-obsessed to the point of deifying himself – but hey, hasn’t he earned it? The man has been a hip hop icon for years now, and he’s always supplemented his musical work with ridiculous antics on the sidelines. This time, he’s receiving lots of attention for his proposal to Kim Kardashian, and his subsequent wedding plans

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John Paul DeJoria was a hobo – but he always had good taste. Even in his homeless days, he slept in an old Rolls Royce along LA’s Sunset Strip. But he had plans. Years later he finds himself in more comfortable conditions, having founded the stupendously successful Paul Mitchell Systems, and Patron Spirits.

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We don’t want to make any outlandish claims that can’t be justified, but we’re pretty sure that coffee is one of the world’s most popular and widely-consumed drinks. Apparently its drunk by an estimated 1.6 billion people globally each day – and many of rely on the stuff to get us out of the morning zone and transition us into the working zone. It’s magic stuff – but how did it get to us?

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This just became your most cherished bar and/or braai tool. Meet the Vortex. It’s a “reverse microwave” that chills drinks in 45 seconds. How does it work? I’m so glad you asked. Please enjoy the video

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John Julyan is a former Western Cape relationship manager at Barclays Wealth (a division of Absa). He is also a very naughty man. Not “use tax-payers money to buy porn” level of naughty, but more “steal more money than I can carry” kind of naughty. He was so naughty that he was found guilty on Monday of 39 counts of theft, totalling R15 million.

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Charles Saatchi is on the brink of suing his ex wife, Nigella Lawson for £500,000. Just prior to their divorce, photographs emerged of Saatchi holding the throat of Lawson at a popular London restaurant. When public sentiment concluded that Saatchi had assaulted Lawson, Nigella maintained absolute silence, cementing the opinion that Saatchi was guilty of abuse.

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Budding entrepreneurs out there will be keen to pack it up at their current job, sign a lease for a new office space, and ship out immediately. But in such a competitive market where more businesses fail than succeed, its important you consider every step as carefully as possible. The first step is to decide whether to keep your job, and have your business on the side or to go the full Montgomery Burns and dive straight in to business. Here are a few reasons why you ought to be doing the former.

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A long, long time ago, in a film studio far, far away – a blooper reel was made. These bloopers never saw the light of day again, until now. This is what every Star Wars fan has been waiting for. After so many years of success, it was odd that Star Wars never released a blooper reel. The whole Star Wars setup was just begging for some bloopers. I mean, come one, men in Star Trooper suits with poor visibility, Chewbacca forgetting his lines, Luke’s spaceship revealed to be a cardboard box – things like this simply needed to be seen.

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It’s been a year since one of Apple’s chief techies – Scott Forstall – left Apple, and was replaced by Jony Ive and Craig Federighi, who were supposed to manage both iOS and OS X. This was meant to give Apple a chance to create a single, unified design across all operating systems. Apple followers will have expected OS X Mavericks to be quite similar to the new iOS – for the software to merge seamlessly between mobile and desktop device.

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Yoh – residents of the suburb of Glenwood in Durban are getting angry. They’re so fed up with the prostitutes that stand on their streets, they’re going the extra yard to identify their clients, name them on Facebook, thereby disrupting business as usual. The concerned residents wrote to the local community paper to announce that they would set up “surveillance cameras and a registration service on Facebook for free”.

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Platforms like Instagram, Twitter and Facebook that were developed alongside the smartphone have birthed a new creative class – the phone-tographers. Some phone photography enthusiasts are good, composing neat shots of their family, their pets and their holidays. Some of them, however, should never have been handed anything capable of taking photos. If you fall into the latter group of individuals, you’ll be happy to know that we have a little how-to guide in the form of an infographic called ‘Phone-Tography 101’

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After the long process of checking in at the airport, it’s always reassuring to have a look at your seat think,”well, at least the seats can’t get any smaller”. Sadly, that reassurance is soon to be a thing of the past, as airlines are looking to squeeze in just one little extra seat in each aisle. In a push to create more 1st class and Business Class room, top airlines like American Airlines, Air Canada, KLM, and Emirates are going to squish those in Economy that little bit more.

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When it comes to breaking records, some choose the safer route: opting to put straws in their mouths. Some, on the other hand, enjoy being towed into 30-metre waves by a jetski. This was the gambit of one Carlos Burle, in an attempt to break the world record for biggest wave ever surfed, held by Garret McNamara, who successfully carved a 23-metre behemoth just two years ago.

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After winning the coveted Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival, the movie ‘Blue Is The Warmest Colour’ has caused a massive furor, after it was issued with an NC-17 rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. What does that mean? It means, confusingly, that no one under the age of 18 may watch the film due to its graphic nature (they added the ‘NC’ after the porn industry appropriated the ‘XX’).

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So a few weeks ago, newly appointed Cricket South Africa CEO Haroon Lorgat released the 2014 match itinerary for the Proteas – which miffed the Board of Control for Cricket in India. The BCCI has always had an edgy relationship with Lorgat, especially during his stint as the ICC CEO due to their differences over a number of issues. Zapiro, in typical fashion, took to his drawing board and produced something that Hindus aren’t particularly happy with.

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It was there to save the drunk. It was there to save the clumsy and the butter-fingered, and it did. The iPhone protective case market has shot to massive proportions, largely because we think the cases will save our precious phones from ourselves. But there are those who are questioning the whole idea of an iPhone case – asking why we place peace of mind over beauty.

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Elections are fast approaching, and those among us who have dodged democratic apathy will soon be queuing outside toll booths across South Africa, in an attempt to make our great country better. As with any election, this one will come with as much pre-election hype as it will post-election hype. As part of the hype, we have people like Stephen Grootes who predict that the ANC will win by a landslide 61%.

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“I’m committed to a friendship” said her ex when he, very abruptly, called the whole thing off. Six weeks (and a few tubs of ice cream) later, and the newly single woman discovered that her bastard of an ex had been having an affair with his most recent ex on and off the whole time. After her initial confrontation with the guy, she wrote him a killer break up letter that the internet just can’t get enough of

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Cape Town has been ranked the third best city to visit in the world in the 2014 Lonely Planet’s 2014 Best In Travel guide, behind Trinidad (Cuba) and Paris (France). Check out Lonely Planet’s opinion of Kaapstad, and the rest of the contenders after the jump

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