THE FIVE TYPES OF NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES
Personally I have made no plans yet for New Year. If I was in Cape Town then it would definitely be either Caprice or The Mount Nelson. But I’m in Hermanus and everyone is looking at each other for answers. That includes the two youngsters who were a tad premature with their New Year celebrations […]
MERRY SHMERRY
God, it’s all just so “festive,” isn’t it? People just LOVE throwing around the word “festive.” And then they frill it up a little more with the word “cheer.” Oh, there is just so much FESTIVE CHEER abound, don’t you think? I looked up festive in this book I wrote ages ago entitled “The Dictionary” […]
NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE MOUNT NELSON
I tell you, it’s been a few years since I did New Year at The Mount Nelson. The last time was a bit of a blur but, funnily enough, it came up in conversation this week. The Fabrics Guy and I agreed that the last one got a full 10 out of 10, I asked […]
MCDONALD’S AT CANAL WALK IS IN THE FUTURE
The Personal Jukebox spotted this lovely scene at McDonald’s in Canal Walk. THE WORLD CUP STARTS IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS! Not only can you feel like a supermodel when you shop at Canal Walk, but you can experience time travel at the same time! You never have to leave!
AMBIGUOUS NUMBERPLATES
Matt O drew my attention to this ad on Gumtree, advertising the following numberplate. Personalised number plate! LUV KIDS-WP Price Neg. Much sought after plate.. I don’t know how “highly sought after” a numberplate like that is. I mean, if it was owned by a baby sitting/nanny service, like www.childminders.co.za, then I don’t have […]
POSH BANS BECKS FROM HOT INTERVIEWERS
Given his history of banging their staff, it is kind of expected that Victoria Beckham pulled the plug on a planned hour long interview upon arrival in Milan this week. Especially after she did a spot of Googling with regards to the interviewer. These pictures were probably very similar to the pics she found. Ilaria […]
THE NEW MISS WORLD
Miss Russia, Kseniya Sukhinova, opted against moving to Cape Town and working at Mavericks, and has now become Miss World. I very much doubt it pays as well. Miss India, Miss Russia and Miss Trinidad & Tobago Jeepers, Miss Trinidad & Tobago is throwing QUITE a vibe there. Read more here, if your levels […]
HILTS HAS A BRAND NEW PINK BENTLEY
Paris Hilton has finally fulfilled her childhood dream of owning a car like the children’s toy doll, Barbie. Stunning. I had the same dream when it came to Noddy’s car that he used to drive. But then the shit hit the fan when his African friend, Golliwog, had to change his name, with regulators citing […]
TRILBY VS FEDORA
As the urge for men in their 20’s and 30’s to wear formal hats increases, so too does the confusion over which hat is which. In particular, the trilby versus the fedora. Davidoff (The Rocker), from The Dirty Skirts, for example, calls any old hat a trilby. Because he LIKES saying it. It makes him […]
WE MAKE HEADWAY WITH THE CYCLISTS
Fresh from not inviting me to his birthday party, Goldfish’s Dom sent this in, which earns him minimal points as he begins the mammoth climb back into the good books. You would have caught the various attacks along the Atlantic Seaboard, with regards to cyclists entering and dining in restaurants and eateries with their helmets […]
ONE OF THE REASONS I STEER CLEAR OF PICK N PAY
This is why I prefer to shop at Woolworths. Organic mature cheddar (my choice) vs. Parmalat Yumchum Ass. I’ve never seen a Yumchum, let alone a Yumchum’s ass. Is it like a Bum Chum? Some, err, ASS for you, Sir? Tsk tsk. Naughty. [thanks zone]
THE NUMBER ONE VIDEO OF THE YEAR
This video has been voted the number one video for 2008 on the internet by a number of publications. Not least of which is Time Magazine. Not that a magazine about clocks should carry any clout. But they do anyway, somehow.. The video has been seen over 17 million times and is the brief story […]
INXS – NEVER TEAR US APART
The sax solo was basically my idea. Never Tear Us Apartby INXS Dont ask me What you know is true Dont have to tell you I love your precious heart I I was standing You were there Two worlds collided And they could never tear us apart We could live For a thousand years […]
TOPSHOP RENEWS KATE MOSS CONTRACT
Amazing – remember a couple of years back when Kate Moss was caught snorting cocaine and everyone said that she was finished. There were stacks of labels and high-end beauty products cancelling their deals with her, embarrassed by the association. Hmm, kyk how lyk hy nou! Kate Moss has apparently re-signed her deal with Topshop […]
LATEST HELMET ATTACK AT NEWPORT DELI
The madness continues, as normal people everywhere, from Camps Bay to Mouille Point, are subjected to these unprovoked attacks on the social norm and general etiquette. This image, sent in by Shads, tells a harrowing story of ignorance, bad upbringing and emboerrissment. Grown adults, dining in a public eatery WITH their helmets on. Now […]
PAMELA ANDERSON WATCH
Whoah! Somebody lend a hand, please! And I’m not having a go at her for the shape her body has taken, I’m just asking her friends to advise her on what she should and shouldn’t wear in her current state. Good Lord! Jeepers! EASY, Pam! Baking! Surely that’s a no-no?
KNOW YOUR SHORT CUTS – CAVALCADE ROAD
One of my personal favourites, Cavalcade Road is the one you’re looking for. I too used to take random shots at the roads leading down from Sea Point’s High Level Road, in the hope that I would end up near to Giovanni’s and that part of Somerset Road (Vida, Miss K etc.) area. But time […]
MOTHER’S CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE RECIPE
My Mother is quite a serious cook and will cream your mom at any dish. Seriously, ANY dish – she doesn’t fuck around. One of her specialties is Christmas fruit cake. The whole extended family, from Paris to Parys used to put in orders every year and the production line would kick into action. All […]
THROW YOUR OWN SHOES AT BUSH
Good morning. As a number of you took Monday off and made a long weekend of the Tuesday public holiday, you might have missed the reports about George W Bush being attacked by a full pair of shoes. To see that you should either scroll down to the article or click here . Naturally, this […]
THE CHAPMANS PEAK NUMBER
Very handy during the festive season is the Chapman’s Peak phone number. Save it in your phone right now. 021 791 8222 Chapman’s Peak Takes you over the Lentil Curtain Spare a thought for the people on the other end of the line. Imagine spending all day answering the phone, “Chapman’s Peak, good day…” […]
BUSH ATTACKED BY FLYING SHOES
You couldn’t DREAM this up. You could smoke a ton of chronic and eat a plate of magic mushroom infused chocolate brownies, and the result would never be a concept as ludicrous as a journalist throwing his shoes, one after the other, at President George W Bush. I mean, Mike Myers used it as a […]
RUDE BUT VERY VERY FUNNY
It is an absolute fact that this video is rude. However, it is not NSFW and has no nudity whatsoever. The verbal content is lewd, although it contains no swear words at all. How can something be so incredible that it is rude, and yet relatively safe to play at the office? Well, that is […]
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE THIS
Why would you have a lunch meeting in town when you can have this inside you, just over the Nek? This, taken during a breakfast meeting this morning.. Caprice business lunchesIt’s what the clever kids are doing..
WATCH EVERY FLIGHT ALL OVER THE WORLD
Spotted this on SKY News – quite a cool vibe. check it out: A group of budding scientists have traced every flight in the world over a 24-hour period and plotted them onto an impressive video map. The science buffs from Switzerland collected data on each commercial flight and put it together to make […]
IS IT MONDAY TODAY?
I’m just kind of running around this morning so I’ve set this story on a timer. That is why sometimes you will experience the illusion of me writing stories for you at the same time as spotting me tanning my hide on the beach. That’s how I roll, my love. It is imperative that you […]
PAY-OFF LINES 101
Saw this outside Caprice the other day. See what they did there? Very clever. They maximised the fact that “meet” and “meat” sound the same. And, at the same time, promising customer satisfaction. You can’t do that with any word. They were very lucky to be in the meat industry. You couldn’t say “You […]
HELICOPTER VIEW OF THE 2010 GREEN POINT STADIUM
I thought this would be a nice touch. Just a quick tour from the sky of the Green Point stadium. I just did it now for you. This morning. I just popped up and filmed it for you. Because I care. I’m lying, obviously. Someone else did it. Thanks for that, chum.. CLICK HERE […]
ANOTHER JACK OF ALL TRADES
In October we brought you a wonderful picture of a some guy’s car window advertising a wide array of skills on offer. It was fairly phenomenal and I suggest you check it out. Today, however, we have another one, this time sent in by Martin M. Please, if I may… Specialist..in many fields […]
MAGNUM THE SUPER JACK RUSSELL
I found this clip on Mark Forrester’s site and, my goodness, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not only will you love the build up and the grand finale, but the narration is nothing short of stunning! It’s filmed by a local guy (Cape Town or Durbs) in his garden and his slang is just too beautiful! […]
ANISTON FLAUNTS FLESH IN US GQ
Shame, it’s starting to get a little sad now. I tell you, Brad must be so stoked he’s moved on from Little Miss Psycho. I mean, it’s three years since he and Angelina started bonking during the making of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Jennifer Arniston (it’s funnier if you call her Arniston, rather than […]
