The Cape Times provides insight into four letter word
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Well done to the Cape Times! To follow up on the story below, the Cape Times has this morning dedicated a few more lines to John Smit's alleged racial slur. This morning we are (finally) given the first letter of the second part of the slur. Today it said that John Smit was alleged to have called a Samoan bouncer a "black c - - -".

Ok! So the other three letters were obviously 'unt'. Now we are FINALLY able to decide how serious the alleged slur was. Pretty serious.

UPDATE: We notice that further on in the article they have given us another letter. It says "c - - t". We're pretty sure what you're talking about. But can't you guys just write "c*nt"? Then we'll know for sure. It could easily be 'coot', of "as pissed as a coot" fame. "Black coot" is far less serious than "black c*nt".

FURTHER UPDATE: It must be 'c*nt'. We've decided this on the grounds that "coot" is a name of a bird and not rude at all. The papers would therefore have no need to hide the letters. We can now confirm that John Smit is alleged to have called the bouncer a "black c*nt". We still very much doubt he said it. I don't know why they don't just dodge all of this and say they called him an "All Black c*nt".

thanks justin

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Local papers hide severity of John Smit's alleged racial slur
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I've come across a number of articles now referring to Springbok captain John Smit's alleged racial slur (I very much doubt it) to a Samoan bouncer (risky) in Sydney. Now how, may I ask, are we supposed to form a point of view when we are unable to gauge the severity of said slur? I am referring to the way the papers report the slur. So far, all we have been told is that John Smit called the bouncer a "black - - - -". What the fuck is a "- - - -"?

As we all know, swear words and racial slurs have varying degrees of severity - The 'k' word clearly being the top of the list. Now in order to get into an article like this we honestly need to know what the fuck we're talking about. For example, if they wrote 'black - - - - - -" then we would count the spaces and work out that they're probably referring to the 'k' word which would cause an uproar. But in this case they have used four blank spaces. Four letters are used for a multitude of words and swear words - fuck, c*nt (even I cannot say it out loud), twat and many more - each of them varying the severity of said racial slur.

So please, local newspapers, help us a little bit and give us the first letter at least! Was it "c - - -" or was it "f - - -" ?

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Never seen before sightings of Cape Town's Tall Blonde Guy
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While we're still reeling from the news that there is a man running around posing as the TBG (who HAPPENS to be an England striker), we are relieved that true sightings of the man of mystery continue. God bless the TBG. Behold, a flurry of TBG sightings.

Although out of focus and hazy, there is no mistaking the relaxed, powerful demeanor of the TBG. This sighting, taken at the Twelve Apostles Hotel (a way-point stop for the Harley Davidson riders), shows the TBG particularly welcoming with a quiet toot in his hand. Recent reports of TBG sightings have shown the icon to be periodically 'testy' when it comes to photographs, often needing time to himself. Whilst one can't help but to take pleasure in the sense of care that surmounts a room when the TBG is present, we must be aware of his wants and needs. The TBG is clearly in the right frame of mind for the attentions of this young aficionado.

The TBG
Poised, yet relaxed, at The 12 Apostles Hotel

And so we move on, with more TBG hysteria. Although some reports suggest the TBG wasn't available for some photos, a few people at the Rock Star party managed to capture the TBG. Judging by the great man's demeanor in these pics, we can clearly see he has a fun-loving nature. If the TBG had a mantra, it would probably be something to do with 'fun-loving'.

And so, even more TBG sightings.

This sent in by Vanessa K, one of the TBG's many female admirers.
She says she managed to get into his pants. I doubt it.
 

Sent in by Peter R.
The TBG...relaxed.. showing an 'island style' sign.
 

Again we see the TBG showing an 'island style' sign. This time with Adrian L.
Good pic, Adrian. The TBG looks happy - just how we like him.
 

The doting fan on the left, Steve R, clearly pleased as punch.

Wars will begin and end. Countries will unite and fall. Children will be happy one day, and starve the next. But the TBG will always be there. If only we could ALL have the opportunity to see him. The opportunity to speak to him. The opportunity to touch him. But most importantly.... the opportunity to be one with him - in mind and spirit.

Good luck out there.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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The other day
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Seriously. I missed it and was given a message to call Petra Nemcova. The message had a New York phone number. I called.

The voice of an angel came on the other end of the line. The sweetest, cutest voice with a Russian/Czech accent.

"He-loooo", it said

"Hi, is that Petra?"

"Yes, it iis" (Are you getting the pronounciation? It sounded like 'Yes, eet ees' in a VERY sweet, cute voice with a Russian/Czech accent.)

"It's Seth Rotherham, phoning from Cape Town". (I gave an excited, yet business-like tone. )

"Oh!!! Hello Seth"

"Petra Nemcova! You sound like you're some sort of Russian tennis player!"

"Oh no! I am Czech."

"Ok, you sound like some sort of a Czech tennis player!"

So we chatted further and the call ended. That night I settled into the sofa at home. My mother had sent my monthly dose of three English 'Hello' magazines from Australia, and I was browsing through. There was a fashion article with a mind blowing model who's face I knew and was particularly fond of. I checked the name. Petra Nem-fucking-cova. Bells started ringing in my head and I further realised that Petra's name has been mentioned on 2oceansvibe before. The article (in the January 2005 archive) was about Petra being involved in, and surviving, the tsunami. Crazy.

Petra Nemcova is not a professional tennis player

Anyway, there is a particular sense of failure, yet delight, when one realises that one spent a large amount of time that day unwittingly on the phone to a super model. You're angry with yourself for not savouring every word she uttered with her beautiful mouth. But you're happy that (because you never knew who you were talking to) you stayed calm and came across ICE cool. Secretly, she wants you.

So now, after just watching a feature on Fashion TV on Karolina KurKova (or name to that effect), I have worked out the most obvious way to pick up a Super Model (sometimes they deserve capital letters).

You work for Fashion TV.

That is the best angle, if you want to bag-a-supermodel.

I'm in New York mid-September for 'New York Fashion Week' and I'm definitely going to give it a bash.

Going to the right after parties and VIP rooms will secure at least one face-to-face chat per night with a super model. The after parties and VIP rooms aren't the problem, it's the chat where you fuck it up. When asked "what do you do?", it is troublesome explaining to super models that you are a man of mystery and Atlantic Seaboard loiterer. What you do is you tell them you work for Fashion TV.

After the exclamations and excitement at being in 'The Industry' she'll obviously ask what exactly it is that you do at Fashion TV.

"I choose who we will be focusing on when we do our 'Fashion TV First Face' features. Where we expose a model and launch her into galaxial stardom."

"REALLY!", she'll purr from her gorgeous lips, which are eventually connected to her stallion-like thoroughbred legs (or 'pistons' if you're in the industry).

"Yes, that's right! The girls I choose to feature normally get the Vogue cover within two months", is what you'll say after that.

I can only take you (our male readers) so far and you need to take over the wheel from there. I can't do everything for you. I am here to guide you, and to nurture you. I want you to be the best you can be. I have led you to water. Now drink.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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As we finalise the 2005 2oceansvibe IDOLS choice
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Those of you who have had the warmth of 2oceanvibe in your soul for the longest will remember when we made our IDOLS choice last year. Yes, it's all coming back to you now isn't tit? We chose someone to support on MNET's pop IDOLS TV show. Last year's 2oceansvibe IDOLS choice was none other than Karen Ferreira. She did fairly well (It is common knowledge that being chosen by 2oceansvibe helps one's chances. ) - I remember she may have even made the top 6. She was chosen by us purely for the cute factor.

Karen Ferreira
Last year's 2oceansvibe IDOLS choice
She failed

This year, again, we will chose someone PURELY on their looks and trust that this alone will take them far. Let it also be known that you, the 2oceansvibe faithful, will be EXPECTED to support the 2005 2oceansvibe IDOLS choice. That means you will vote several times for our choice when the time comes.

Ok, it hasn't been finalised yet. We're dealing with a HORRIFIC batch this year. We feel we need to watch one more episode of IDOLS to make sure. We are very close to choosing this young lady. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that we are:

TOYING with Bernice Breedt
  

Feel free to contact 2oceansvibe (click 'contact 2oceans' in the left menu) to share your comments on our choice. After all..... it will be YOUR choice as well.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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And the origins thereof
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I often used the exclamation 'Jeepers Hudders' when describing awe inspiring things. It adds a bit of flavour and is less tacky than "Oh my fuck" or "Jesus Christ". I have had a number of people in the past ask me where the phrase comes from and have never elaborated. Well, the silence is over!

Andrew Hudson, the former South African batsman was being interviewed over scoring his first test 100 (after a run of bad form). The interviewer referred to the beautiful cover drive that went for four runs, and was essentially the beginning of the century.

Asking him to comment, Hudson replied, "Ja, well, I hit the shot and saw the ball flying and I said to myself 'Jeepers Hudders'!".

It's always beautiful when people use actual nicknames when referring to themselves. Particularly the nicknames that come out of the cricket fraternity. Lloyd, your comments.

Imagine, "Jeepers Rothers"!

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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The World breathes a sigh of relief
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femalefirst.co.uk reports that Paris Hilton has finally split with child boyfriend pretender Paris Latsis. Below, a recent shot of our Paris. Great to see that the recent news hasn't sent her on a food binge or anything. The website claims: "the sexy socialite was left fuming when she threw a lavish party several weeks ago to celebrate their upcoming nuptials - only to discover her handsome lover hadn't told his wealthy Greek parents about their engagement." Shit, sorry to hear that.

Paris - eating properly

This news coincides perfectly with the news that Princess Charlotte of Monaco has been taken. Our sources report the following article on Hello Magazine's website - Charlotte on holiday

Charlotte - a sacrifice for the returning of Hilts

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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A good thing
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It's something I've been meaning to chat about. The 'dimples of Venus'. Seth's medical advisor, Dr Gomez, imparted the knowledge some time ago. Let me explain it to you.

First we need to explain exactly where the dimples of Venus are. Pretend you're looking at a woman's bum. Is that nice? Now cast your eyes about four centimeters up the spine from the top of the bum. Now, if lady luck is looking down on you, you'll notice two dimples to the left and right of the spine - one on either side - about two to three centimeters on either side of the spine. They're not there? Sorry about that.

If you look like this, please call Seth

Ok, so now that we know what we're talking about, you're probably wondering why they're such a good thing. Apparently, (according to my medical advisor) if your partner has these 'Dimples of Venus', there is a good chance that she won't turn into a pork sword later in life. I'm not saying it's a definite, I'm saying there is a BETTER chance than if they weren't there. That's right! Keep an eye out, kids. Not that you weren't already - they are the most gorgeous things.

So there you have it, today's New-Saying Information Pack. Short and sweet.

Actually, while we're dealing with new sayings, now is a great time to exercise one of the classic sound-like-you're-a-caring-person sayings. With everyone moaning about this revolting rain we're getting in Cape Town, it's the perfect time to say things (with feeling) like "Thank God! It's GREAT for the dams" - referring to the empty dams filling up with rain water.

BANG! Just like that! People will think you're sweet and caring.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Opportunists passing themselves off as the Tall Blonde Guy
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No-one said the life of Cape Town's man of mystery, the TBG, was all roses and glory - it can also have it's pitfalls. Like when someone cruises around intimidating the great man. While we still yearn for more knowledge of who the TBG is and how he operates (let alone what actually makes him tick), we can only frown upon impostors who think its clever to try and confuse us.

I was sent a fake TBG sighting by the man in the right of the picture. The gentleman informed me that, although he was over the moon that he had finally met the Cape Town icon, he didn't feel entirely satisfied. It's times like these that make my job very difficult. Like doctors delivering bad news, it is me that has to inform this young man that the person he met was, in fact, an impostor. It's not easy. Particularly when the photo reveals genuine joy in his eyes.

Keep an eye out for the man on the left. Do not be fooled. He is not the TBG. Thank God we have received some genuine TBG sightings of late - to lift us up from this terrible state of affairs.

The fake TBG. Do not trust this man.

UPDATE: We are fully aware that the guy in the pic is, in fact, Peter Crouch - the England striker. Now why does that mean he is not an impostor? His real job would not affect his want to be the TBG. It doesn't change the fact that he is a pretender.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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(sung to the tune of Duran Duran's 'Notorius')
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It can be quite fun on your own, interacting with the different characters and places as you kill time in your day. I have, for example, found myself INSIDE the Long Street Baths before, as I killed time waiting for my car to get washed. A little surprise awaited me inside the building I had seen my whole life and never been inside. I'll tell you about that another time. Mind fuck.

A similair time-killer thing happened to me last week. I had to drop off a kettle in Constantia (don't ask) and was scanning the horizons to find an investigative opportunity to make-great this rather bland trip to 'the other side' (o' the mountain). I came down the road that runs past Victoria Hospital in Wynberg and, on my left, noticed a sign/logo on the back wall of a building reading "Hemporium".

What the fuck is "Hemporium"? I've seen the logo / clothing-brand for many years but never managed to piece it together. What are they trying to prove with their marijuana influence? Are they trying to prove that stoned people can make clothes too? And why are they making clothes out of weed anyway? Are they even legal? I had half an hour to kill. These questions, and more, had to be answered immediately.

[Theme-setting 'Murder She Wrote' theme music playing in background]

Like some sort of an excited German Tourist enquiring about the Lion's Head flora and fauna, I walked into the Hemporium shop.

Ok, hemp MUST be linked to Microsoft Windows because I have never seen ANYTHING multi-task like this before. I walked into a perfectly modern quality sofa lounge setting. With a table, sofas, rug, scatter cushions, paintings, blinds, coffee table book and everything else you would expect in this perfectly modern quality sofa lounge setting. 'Ell (do you put a capital there, Sir?), there were even CD covers lying around. I requested a chat with one of the owners, Tony. He ORDERED A BEER (Jeepers Hudders! It was a Friday) and proceded to tell me that everything I could see in the room was made of hemp (I nearly said 'beer' there. That really would have ballsed up the story. It's practically impossible to make a table out of beer) - including the CD boxes - which looked like proper plastic CD covers. He gave me some nuts - made of Hemp.

The gentleman gave me a Hemporium pair of socks which produced a knee-jerk "so you CAN smoke your socks" comment. Before I could start the comment he gave a resounding, "No, you CAN'T smoke these socks". So basically I discovered the reason Tony was not a stoned monkey by 10am everyday, was because this stuff is legal in these forms. The smoking part of weed came after the practical uses. A brief investigation into the vast history of the material enlightened me to the fact that the Afrikaans word for a shirt is 'hemp'. We always knew that, but we didn't know it was called that because in the old days T-shirts were made of hemp! Crikey! You learn something every day, kids! A look into the past law making procedures show that the law banning the 'raw ownership and smoking' of the product, never really had a strong enough argument. But that's another story all together. Basically there are major costs that could be saved in various industries, just through the use of environmentally friendly hemp. Something quite important for growing nations, I'd say.

I got really serious back there. Sorry.

All of the bags, shirts, pants etc. really are quality stuff - stronger than any other product you'll buy. Quality, trendy, durable stuff. Each with a secret pocket hidden where you'd never expect it (Wynberg station should provide you with something to put in there).

So there you have it! Hemporium has appeared into my life and I've even decided to put their logo on the site (linking to their website), thus giving it the 2oceansvibe seal of approval. Everyone needs to have a look at this shop - you'll like it. Have a Friday beer there. Or a Saturday morning breakfast at Parks Cafe (Surely a Constantia/Claremont favourite?).

I'll tell you when I find a place where everything is made of mushrooms.

Be safe, kids.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Is in bloody good nick
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I'm entirely satisfied with these pics of Desperate Housewive's Eva Longoria. In particular, I am over the moon with her arching her back so nicely whilst ringing water out of her hair.

Thanks for the memories, Eva. And the great jokes.

 

 

 

Arched back - an absolute MUST!

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Who says we don't look after the ladies on 2oceanvibe?
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What a treat we have today! Jude Law's penis. Right here! Right now! For all of you to gawk at before you have your morning cup!

Size-wise, I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. It hangs well and probably has good lift. I'm also happy to report that Jude Law's penis is, in fact, circumcised. In doing so he has avoided any possible germ and bacteria build up - something that our hooded friends should please guard against.

Now that we've discussed that, I present to the girls (and our sweet friends), Jude Law's penis.

Click pic to erase Francois (if only it was that easy)
NSFW

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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An add on
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As we all know, the London bombs went off the day after the announcement that London had won the 2012 Olympic bid.

A friend of mine asked me a few days after the attack if I think that the bombs would have gone off in another city, if the other city had won the Olympic bid.

[stunned silence]

[tens of thousands of pins dropping, randomly]

I suppose you could say the actual bombings were 'masterminded'. Certainly not in the league of 9/11, but 'masterminded' nonetheless. But I think 'masterminding' an attack to go off in four different areas of a city, the choice of which (city) is dependent on an announcement made a few hours earlier, is bordering on a challenege for IBM's Deep blue.

Imagine having to brainwash multiple people in multiple cities to kill themselves. Once that's done you'll still have to have all the suicide rucksacks made - without anyone knowing. Then you'll have to make a game-plan for EACH and EVERY city, only to be told by a stranger on TV a few hours earlier where the target will be!

That's not masterminding anything. That's just ridiculous.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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First lesson - Over Easy Eggs
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There was always something that bothered me about News Cafe in Green Point but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was suggested by a friend as a potential breakfast spot for Sunday morning. I asked if it was cozy enough. Apparently it was.

What joy on arrival to find that it was, indeed, cozy! With a full frontal fireplace and sofas - what a pleasure. Breakfast in semi-Winter next to a fire. God, this is good.

But then it fell apart at the seams.

I won't go on about having to ask three times for my coke, or the fact that the actual breakfast took over 30 minutes to get to the table - these are not things to moan about - these things are normal - we are used to crap service. BUT DON'T FUCK UP MY EGGS WHEN I ASK YOU TO MAKE THEM 'OVER EASY '.

To all breakfast chefs throughout Cape Town, 'over easy' fried eggs does not mean 'hard' fried eggs. It means lightly cooked on the yolk side. This generally forms a white film over the yolk. Usually created by momentarily flipping the egg over.

When I insisted to the waiter that the chef should be careful not to make them hard and that I only wanted a slight white film over the yolk, I thought he would've chatted to the chef about it. If I stress something so intricate, I am probably going to take note of the results when the food comes. The result produced two rock hard light yellow yolks. Why did you understand so well what I meant when I ordered, and yet you're quite happy to bring me something COMPLETELY different? It was the only thing I stressed. I didn't give a fuck about how your sausage came out, or how you should grill the tomato (longer next time)..... I just asked for one thing - my eggs over easy. I didn't even articulate the migraine I was developing as a result of the front door that slammed every time someone entered the establishment. I just wanted over fucking easy eggs.

I ate an egg this morning, purely to photograph it. It wasn't the hardest thing in the World. A little trick, crap chefs of Cape Town - place the lid of a pot over the eggs while they cook. It instantly and effortlessly produces an over easy egg. Without the risk of breaking it.

Seth's 'over easy' egg this morning

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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His time in London
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I'm not going to say anything. I'll let these pictures and words I received to tell the story.

"On the subject of TBG (Tall Blonde Guy) out of his natural habitat, these photos were taken in the UK in the latter part of 2002 when he was part of a touring male stripper group called "The 3 Quarter Puffy's". We toured dingy pubs in classy towns such as Aldershot, Bracknell and Bognor Regis to name a few. We were in high demand until half the group contracted various STD's (not the TBG I hasten to add) and were forced to quit. The other photo is of the TBG threatening one his fellow strippers after a disagreement about almond body oil. So there we have it, the TBG outside the borders of SA." -(Anonymous)

The TBG in his early days. Just one of the guys.
 

Another side to the TBG. Dangerous. Threatening.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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And continues to amuse
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Another point-and-laugh reality show returns and gets off to a good start, with MNET'S 'IDOLS'. Unlike 'The Apprentice' and 'Show me the Mommy', IDOLS producers and presenters are fully aware that we watch in order to laugh AT the people we see on our screens.

Again I am perplexed as to what exactly is going through the minds of these people that truly believe they can sing. For the judges it must be incredible to watch. What is going through these people's minds? And even better when they get angry after being told that they're shit. Like Shane from P.E. Shame, Shane. Shane was told he sucked and basically stormed out. But then we were given a treat. Shane's PARENTS. Oh my God. What an appaling pair! Shane's Mum was a PROPER poppie with perm and such very nice shoulder pads. I'm sure something that she was wearing could be referred to as a 'frock'. I'm also certain she wore a pleated floral skirt. Anyway, Shane's Father was just as good. One of those simple country folk, donning a twead jacket and moustache. One of those thin guys who wear twead jackets and moustaches. Shane stormed out of the room and came flying past his parents, who tottered after him, asking "What heppind Shayne?!". Shane's Dad's eyes were the size of dog's balls when he realised he was being filmed.

"This guys don't know what the fuck they talking abyout", screamed Shane.

"WHAT HEPPIND, WHAT HEPPIND SHANE?!", cried his Mother.

"They don't know what the fucking shit they talking about", yelled Shaners, crying.

I love it when people get so angry and they are so certain of themselves that they purposefully swear - feeling that they can get away with it because they have been so unfairly treated.

"DON'T SWEAR SHANE!", shrieked Shane's Mum

That was my highlight, from Shane's Mother. Please add your strongest rural P.E. accent to that last sentence. Absolute CHAOS!

The main reason I am so happy that IDOLS is back is that Bianca le Grange can get some work. With her self induced American accent, Bianca (and Jacques for that matter) was asked to drive around in a sponsored car and find some talent. The girl she chose never made it past the first round. See you next year, Bianca.

We're happy with Colin Moss. We're actually fine with Gareth Cliff. Randall is manageable. Dave is too sweet. He really feels bad when he has to deny someone passage to the next round. Such a nice guy - he probably went to SACS. But MARA. God, help us! It's amazing how often she reminds us how famous she is, and yet I just had to go to the IDOLS website to get her name. Hmmm, Mara Louw..... Nope! Never heard of her! She's also verging on being racist - keep an eye on that. So if you were struggling to choose someone to not like for the rest of the show, it's waiting for you on a platter - Mara Louw.

Someone called 'Mara' - annoying

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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And risks pubic attack
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It's always interesting to hear stories from friends about people that don't give a shit. For me, it's another chance to try and work out more about the humans we share this space with.

I won't take this 'piece' to the point of slander, but I will reflect the story a friend told me about his trip from London to Cape Town this week. My friend and his girlfriend boarded their flight and sat down in their seats behind a gentleman. For the sake of this article, we'll call him Richard Coppen.

As the plane took off, Mr Cotton slammed back his seat as far as possible. Being a particularly tall couple, my friend asked (on behalf of his girlfriend) Mr. Coppen whether he could help out and just move his seat up the TINIEST bit - even if it was just a centimeter - any help would really be nice. Her knees were visibly squashed backwards by the seat.

"NO", came the reply.

Aaaah, we've got a live one!

My friend repeated, "Is there really no way you could help out my girlfriend and move your seat up a tiny bit?"

"NO. Why should I move my seat up for A STRANGER?"

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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There is a point where even Cape Town guys don't like it
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I'll remind you of the little pork sword that was seen next to our Paris, before Hilton realised that she didn't need a pork-sword styled pilot fish to follow her around everywhere. Her name was, and still is, Nicole Richie.

This is how the little tart used to look:

Pork 1

We actively didn't show the photos of Paris and the little troll together, as we know that Paris wouldn't have liked it.

So it seems a steady diet of cocaine and cigarettes has finally allowed the little troll to marginally replicate the perfection of Paris. However, she is starting to push it a bit.

A warning to starlett-wannabees and teenagers everywhere - do not assume that we (the guys) want your figure to reach a point where you can fit inside a pencil sharpener. No no, this is incorrect. I am sure I speak on behalf of most Cape Town males when I say that it can be disgusting. Particularly when you lose your boobs and start to look like a gecko.

Who am I? Where is Paris? I feel faint.

Shame, Nicole.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Badder than ever!
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I don't know why I said 'badder than ever' back there. I'm not bad. I'm just misunderstood.

Excitement levels are reaching a peak. My fingers fall into a spasm, not knowing where to start. Two fairly amazing things are happening to Seth in the very near future.

Firstly, Seth is joining The Point Virgin active gym. I know. The individuals who will no doubt present themselves are a lot to do with the heightened levels of exitement. Watch this space for report backs. I'm going to take it easy to begin with - just cruise the treadmills. You won't see me in the pit.

Secondly, Seth is coming to London! Purely to strengthen ties. Also to look over the areas where the TBG was spotted - so we can further piece together the mystery of the great man.

That's right! From September 8 to 19! But Seth won't be there for the whole time because he'll have to nip over to New York from the 15th for New York Fashion Week (obviously). Seth's London man-on-the-ground, the H-man, has prepared New York city. The pad, the parties, the VIP lists, the after parties, the fashion shows - it's all organised for the two days and two nights of mayhem.

More later..

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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We didn't want to show this
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I really didn't want to show this. But feel we have to. Even if it just to let you work out your own pun headline. Fergie, from the Black Eyed Pees appears to have peed herself in a recent gig in the States. Let it sink in. She did.

Somebody stop her

Personally, I don't think she peed herself - it must be sweat. If it was pee then the mark would have surely gone further down her leg?

Although it begs the question, I don't believe this truly is 'toilet' humour which we caution against on this website! I really apologise for talking about this - but it had to be done.

See all the pics and decide for yourself - CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Will it ever go away?
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It has been WAY too long since you received a reminder from us that we did, in fact, win the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

Thanks Carte Blanche for interviewing Sean Fitzpatrick on Sunday night and, once again, subjecting us to the image of Francois Pienaar holding up the cup. It's like a disease that gets worse - like a cancer. The '95 WC cancer.

We are reminded of the '95 World Cup EVERY time we watch rugby on TV - due to the fact that there is a '95 World Cup wank-fest going on in the Supersport studios. Couldn't you clowns find something else to do other than subject us to your TV and interviewing skills which are as advanced as a tadpole's embryo?

I received the most wonderful email the other day from Ross C:

Some friends of mine visiting Cape Town for the first time have just sent me this text message:

“We just went up Table Mountain and noticed the strangest thing. There was no mention of the '95 World Cup, the drop or Francois. Not even a statue. Very strange.”

Beautifully put, friend of Ross C! Why is there no statue? Thank God!

Does anyone know how long it took the Brits to stop daily reminders of their 1966 Football World Cup win? Because we're on 10 years now...

Joel, Joost, Francois, Kobus and co., PLEASE go away.

Take a leaf out of the other '95 winners' books. Go and do something useful and let us get on with our lives. Creeps.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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The saga continues..
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Ok it's a new month. It's pretty exciting stuff. I've got some stuff for you. But chill out for now. You'll get some later today. Just got to cook some geese.

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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What ailment will she sing about next?
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Besides the Backstreet Boys brain numbing, nausiating 'Incomplete' song played too regularly on local radio to mention, Natasha Bedingfield's 'I bruise easily' could well be the reason I give heroin a bash.

Bedingfield - riddled with bruises

The chorus "I bruise easily" pains me to a level that could easily be compared to a steak knife being kicked into my eye socket by a bouncer.

No one cares that you bruise easily, Natasha. And anyway, what provoked this necessity to inform us of your medical problems and ailments? Imagine Elton John launching a new song called "My arse is sore", or "my back hurts". Or Katie Holmes could get into pop with "I'm Brainwashed".

Shut up, Natasha, and stop moaning.

Look out for Seth Rotherham's "I have asthma"

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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Rock Stars go balls to the wall
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In a blatant attempt to bruise the Mother City with a party they won't forget, The Rock Star Fund have taken it to the next level. Rhodes House - 8 August. When I received word about this one I had a sensory overload. Too many things were being thrown at me at once. DJ's, live bands (incl. Goldfish), models, lingerie models, promotion girls (how many girls are there?). That's enough for now I think. Just look at the flyer.

Due to the size of the party, you're now able to pre buy tickets (slightly cheaper than at the door). Hey, why not buy in bulk and save?

082 2965837 for pre-orders.

Check out the flyer.

CLICK FLYER FOR FULL SIZE VERSION

GO GO GO !

Seth Rotherham
Editor
2oceansvibe.com
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