Do not look at this image
You might get fired..

Miranda Kerr Backs Suspended Banker – The above image of Miranda Kerr is the exact picture our banker friend was looking at, before he got fired. For those of you who have just joined us, an Australian banker was suspended after being caught looking at fleshy images during a live TV broadcast. The world is now coming out in support, with the “Save Dave” campaign. [telegraph]

Kitesurfer Killed In Florida Shark Attack – The incident was in Florida in the United States, not the Florida you’re thinking of in Parow, Cape Town. Stephen Howard Schafer, 38, died of shark bites Wednesday off the coast of Stuart, about 100 miles north of Miami. He is the first person to die of a shark attack in Florida waters in five years and only the 14th since 1896. [seattletimes]

Tiger Woods Porn Star Releases Text Messages – Oh make no mistake, he’s back! This time it was the 100 or so missives he purportedly sent to hard-core porn princess Joslyn James. “You please me like no other has or ever will,” Woods wrote last Oct. 1. “I am not losing that.” James, whose raunchy résumé includes flicks like “Big Breasted Nurses,” insisted she was “in love with Tiger.” [nydailynews]

Dagga greenhouse discovered in Cullinan – A 200m tunnel and greenhouse containing dagga plants with an estimated street value of R1 million was discovered in Crocodile Spruit, Cullinan, east of Pretoria. “Police also found three plastic containers, plastic bags, a dagga seed bag, and small money bags containing dagga in a deep freezer,” said Captain Julia Claassen. [timeslive]

Toyota Recalls 270,000 Prius’ In Japan and US – Toyota’s problems seem to be deepening on a daily basis. It has been reported by Japan’s Nikkei business daily that Toyota is to recall an estimated 270,000 of its latest-generation Prius in Japan and the US to fix a brake problem in the hybrid car. US safety regulators opened a formal investigation into consumer complaints about braking on 2010 Toyota Prius hybrids. [rte]

Celebrities Paid To Attend Fashion Shows – Shock horror! It has been reported that fashion labels often pay big-name celebrities to attend their shows. Rihanna apparently gets $100,000 a shot, while Kim Kardashian gets $35,000. I’m not surprised, to be honest, it’s common knowledge that Levi’s paid me R20,000 to attend their latest show at the Waterfront last week. It’s no big deal. [fashionista]

Cosmopolitan’s Famous Annual Sex Survey Kicks Off – South Africa’s Cosmopolitan magazine launched their annual Sex Survey this week. And they weren’t shy this year with questions ranging from what music you like to play during sex, to filming yourself and bonking at the office. Girls, what are you waiting for? Get in there! [cosmopolitan]

Human Vegetable Communicates Using Thoughts – Scientists have detected glimmers of awareness in some vegetative brain-injury patients and have even communicated with one of them – findings that push the boundaries of how to assess and care for such people. In the strongest example, a 29-year-old patient was able to answer yes-or-no questions by visualizing specific scenes the doctors asked him to imagine. [huffington]

French Press Turn On Mel Gibson For Asshole Comment – ibson appeared live Wednesday night on France’s Canal+Le Grand Journal, where a journalist on the panel quipped that she interviewed him “with a little fear because you have a stormy relationship with journalists.” Another asked him, “Did you come prepared with French curse words for French journalists?” [socialitelife]

Microsoft’s Failure To Innovate – Not everything that has gone wrong at Microsoft is due to internecine warfare. Part of the problem is a historic preference to develop (highly profitable) software without undertaking (highly risky) hardware. This made economic sense when the company was founded in 1975, but now makes it far more difficult to create tightly integrated, beautifully designed products like an iPhone or TiVo. [nytimes]

Royal premiere for Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway – Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway will be in royal company when they unveil Alice In Wonderland later this month. The world premiere, due to be held at London’s Leicester Square, will also be attended by the Prince of Wales and his wife Camilla. [hellomagazine]

Cufflinks Made From Prince Charles’ Aston Martin – A set of cufflinks featuring an 18-c gold finish has been made using parts from Prince Charles’s Aston Martin to raise money for charity. Pistons removed from the car when the prince decided to convert the vehicle to make it more eco-friendly have been transformed into cufflinks. [luxuo]

Simon Cowell Takes On Quincy Jones – Simon Cowell is the top dog at many things — ‘Idol,’ ‘X Factor’ and so forth, and now the music mogul wants to be the titan of another industry — the Haiti charity song biz. Simon’s competitive side has him gearing up for a fight with fellow music honcho Quincy Jones as they unleash dueling Haiti benefit tunes. [popeater]

Lance Armstrong To Ride The Argus Cycle Tour – Armstrong will be in South Africa from March 9-11 as part of a fund-raising initiative for JAG, a Cape Town-based charity. The charity had continued to deny Armstrong would remain in South Africa for the Cycle Tour, which takes place on March 14. However, late last night on the Twitter social media website, Armstrong announced he would be riding in the world’s biggest timed cycling race. [iol]