Microsoft Banned From Selling “Word” From January 2010 – Microsoft has been accused of infringing patents owned by another company, i4i. The legal dispute centres around the way Microsoft Word handles certain kinds of documents. Judge Leonard Davis ruled that Microsoft had infringed i4i’s patent, and ordered the software giant to pay $290 million (£176 million) in damages. Yu! Yu! Yu! [telegraph]

Schumacher Signs With Mercedes – Michael Schumacher will return to Formula One with Mercedes GP in 2010, according to reports. The German, who will turn 41 next month, has signed a one-year deal with the Brackley-based team, where he will team up again with Ross Brawn, who guided him to all his seven world titles with Ferrari. [skynews]

Brittany Murphy’s Personal Pharmacy List Revealed – The collective desire to find something to blame for Brittany Murphy’s untimely death channels itself into autopsy results and prescription obsessing. [gawker]

Tiger is Still Boning Rachel – Tiger Woods hasn’t shown his face since the news broke that he’d been cheating on his wife, Elin Nordegren, with as many as a dozen porn stars, cocktail waitresses and party girls. But Tiger isn’t in seclusion, depressed and watching cartoons, as many news outlets have reported — In Touch can exclusively reveal that he’s still secretly having sex with his mistress, New York party promoter Rachel Uchitel. [intouch]

Mail & Guardian’s 2009 Government Report Card – It was once called “the gentleman’s C”, the grade that the scions of wealthy families could achieve while waltzing through university with a minimum of study and a maximum of socialising. [mail&guardian]

UK Mulls Regulations on Photoshopped Ads – As France weighs passing a law requiring retouched photos to be labeled as such, the Brits are mulling new regulations of their own. The U.K.’s Committee of Advertising Practice, which is responsible for the country’s code of advertising, just received a report authored by more than 40 academics recommending a ban on Photoshopped ads targeted at girls younger than 16. [thecut]

Christmas in Los Angeles – If you think we’ve got some over-the-top home Christmas displays here in South Africa, you can only IMAGINE what they’re dealing with in the land of over-the-top. What they lack in picturesque, snowy winterscapes, they more than make up for in sheer wattage. [huffers]

Pete Doherty Arrested While in Court – Pete Doherty managed to get himself arrested for bringin drugs into court just moments after he avoided serving jail time for a dangerous driving incident. Anything that you can imagine seems possible with this palooka. [socialitelife]

Secret Footage of The New Google Phone Nexus One – Apparently, Googlers aren’t supposed to be tweeting the details of the Google Phone, but they have no problem tweeting about how awesome it is. And they also apparently have no problem showing it off. And not surprisingly, pictures of the device are starting to hit the web. [techcrunch]

Prince William Sleeps on the Streets – Prince William spent a night sleeping rough on the streets of London last week to experience being homeless. The royal bedded down in a sleeping bag next to a group of wheelie bins near Blackfriars bridge in an event organised by the homelessness charity Centrepoint. [guardian]

Partying All The Way To Jail – Before he was arrested for larceny last month, Andrew Parker ran a trendy boutique, wined and dined socialites, and made a porn film. I think you will enjoy this so go ahead and click to find out more on New York’s most outrageous accused con man. [dailybeast]

Lindsay Lohan As Santa on The Beach – She looks so average I can’t tell you. In fact, I would prefer it if you didn’t follow this link. It’s so kak. Seriously. Don’t. She looks high as well. Poor thing. Living in a parallel universe. [egotastic]

Thousands Share 2.3bn Euro Lottery Jackpot – Nearly 2,000 people have hit the jackpot in one of the world’s biggest lottery draws. Spain’s El Gordo lotto, which means “the fat one”, has a total prize fund of 2.32 billion euros (£2.1bn). Each of the 1,950 ticketholders with the winning number – 78294 – stands to receive 300,000 euro (£267,500) share. [skynews]

Own Your Own Island in The Bahamas for $80m – Escaping to a deserted island is a common fantasy, and only the privileged few can actually live buy their own. However, if your dream is to buy an island, you need to follow your heart to the Bahamas. The 850-acre L-shaped Great Whale Cay island is up for sale for $80 million. [bornrich]

James Stewart Plays Blistering Set of Early Police classics – Chart-topping SA artist, James Stewart pays homage to the unmistakable reggae-jazz-punk sound annexed in rock pantheons by Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers. Solo Sting masterpieces are mixed in along with some of James’ homegrown hits to complete a gig of intensity, unruly sophistication and nostalgia. Sunday 27th December, The Suikerbossie, Hout bay. [jamesstewart]

[thanks clinton, paul]