[imagesource: Alfred Hitchcock]

Stumbling upon photos of your partner wrapped around their ex or basking in the glow of a romantic escape on social media is a pitfall many face in the tangled web of modern dating.

Experts warn that this could be stoking the flames of a phenomenon known as ‘Rebecca Syndrome’, with a noticeable uptick in inquiries about this lesser-known issue.

Often referred to as “retroactive jealousy,” Rebecca Syndrome speaks to the all-too-familiar pangs of envy, but it’s fixated on the ghosts of your partner’s past—specifically, their former romantic and sexual encounters.

Sufferers may compare themselves to their partner’s ex and believe this past lover is better looking, smarter or even better in bed.

Psychoanalyst Dr Darian Leader drew inspiration from Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 Gothic novel Rebecca when he first coined the term. The novel follows a young woman who, gripped by her own insecurities, spirals into obsessive jealousy after unearthing details about her partner’s exes. Her unravelling serves as a mirror to the creeping doubts and anxieties many face in their own relationships, giving rise to behaviours that echo the turmoil of retroactive jealousy.

But this syndrome is not just a work of fiction, with many people admitting to being plagued by these illogical emotions.

Psychotherapist Toby Ingham notes how the buzzy psychological term has been gaining traction in Google searches since 2018 with patients self-diagnosing their “obsessional problem”.

“Not a good idea,” writes Ingham online.

The fixation contributes to obsessional neurosis, which “describes a condition where the mind is intruded upon by compulsive words, images, or ideas. These uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts dominate the mind,” Ingham detailed in the online essay.

Rebecca Syndrome can make people insecure, questioning everything about their relationship. However, as Ingham explained, rather than being caused by relationships directly, retroactive jealousy often has its roots in childhood.

“While these early problems will be unique to each of us, they may, for example, relate to our having felt overlooked by a parent who preferred one of our siblings to us,” Ingham told MailOnline. “Or perhaps to problems feeling we were unimportant or excluded in our birth family.”

The expert noted that people often project their own insecurities and unresolved issues onto their current relationships, creating cracks in the foundation. This emotional baggage, when left unchecked, can strain the dynamic, distorting the way they view both their partner and the relationship itself.

“Ask yourself whether your anxiety, your intrusive thoughts about feeling less important to your partner than their former partner, may really relate to your own past rather than it being anything to do with your current relationship,” Ingham continued.

He also stresses the importance of refraining from scrolling through your partner’s old social media feed as this can just unleash Pandora’s Box.

“Don’t ask about your partners’ past, particularly their sexual histories, oversharing at the start of a new relationship often comes back to haunt us,” he concluded with MailOnline.

Don’t worry if you feel the old pang of jealousy, you’re not alone.

A 2017 systematic review of 230 studies on romantic jealousy revealed that its roots often lie in low self-esteem and past experiences of infidelity. Jealousy, it seems, is a frequent guest in many relationships.

In fact, research from the same year focused on married couples in relationship counselling found that jealousy was prevalent, with 79% of men and 66% of women admitting to feeling its sting. This suggests that, far from being rare, jealousy is a common challenge couples face.

Sucks if your name is Rebecca, though.

[source:nypost]