[imagesource:netflix]

Netflix might have been putting it lightly when it punted that the seven-time world champion and modern-day legend Tom Brady would be tackling “the biggest challenge of his career”.

Those with sturdy shoulders and iron stomachs watched as Tom Brady got his cleats held to the fire by the Roastmaster General Jeff Ross, alongside famous friends & frenemies on an unforgettable night as they tried to “take down the GOAT”.

Aired last Sunday on Netflix, ‘The Roast of Tom Brady’ was more like a little corner of hell.

The New York Post reviewed the show as “filthy and vulgar… inappropriate and shocking… uncomfortable…” – everything that the publication argues makes for a greatly entertaining and ‘cathartic’ watch.

Tom was not spared and took most of it on the chin, but his ex, Gisele Bündchen came out of it “deeply disappointed” and upset. Not so much because the dude pretty much chose football over her, but because of the “disrespectful portrayal of her family on Sunday evening’s roast show”, per a source at PEOPLE.

The smited ex added that her priority is to “support her children who were affected by the irresponsible content that was broadcasted.”

The insider then added, “This past week, Gisele has been tirelessly dedicated to aiding those in need in her home state of Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil, which is grappling with the worst flooding in its history. She was concerned about family affected by the devastating floods, so to hear her life being joked about was very disappointing.”

The host Kevin Hart – along with other featured comedians like Nikki Glaser, and Tony Hinchcliffe, as well as Brady’s former teammates Julian Edelman, Gronk and Drew Bledsoe – went all out pulverising egos during the show, not even bothering with niceties or foreplay.

Glaser nipped the Super Bowl champ with a joke about his breakup with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynihan, the mother of his eldest son.

“Tom, you’re the best to ever play for too long, you retired, then came back, then retired,” Glaser said. “I get it. It’s hard to walk away from something that isn’t your pregnant girlfriend.”

What followed was over three hours of unrelenting, close-range fire aimed at the GOAT and anyone in his universe. NOTHING was off the menu at this roast, that’s for sure:

There were white jokes, black jokes, gay jokes, Jewish jokes. Jabs about CTE, eating disorders and Brady’s former Patriots teammate Aaron Hernandez killing people (including himself). Everyone and everything was on the menu — including Brady’s failed marriage to Gisele Bündchen, his rumored hair transplant, pal Rob Gronkowski’s IQ and ex-coach Bill Belichick’s unemployment.

And to think of the jokes that didn’t even make the cut:

Tellingly, Brady only threw one mercy flag:

When “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross roughed Patriots owner Robert Kraft over being busted at a massage parlor on charges of soliciting prostitution, the former quarterback told him, “Don’t say that s–t again.”

Per Page Six, “Brady’s defence of Kraft while he stood aside and let comic after comic rip on his marriage felt to his ex-wife like proof that he still cares more about the football world than his personal life.”

The NY Post argues that the roast was cathartic as it “felt like shedding decades of political correctness.

Jerry Seinfeld recently noted that left-wing scolds fearful of offending people have ruined television and film, which is true.

We used to laugh at and with each other. We were better friends for it.

The no-holds-barred publication further argues that awards shows have become so benign and boring that even a harmless crack about Jada Pinkett Smith’s alopecia made Will Smith think he was justified in slapping Oscars host Chris Rock in 2022.

On the other end of the coin, The Washington Post takes a contrasting stance, calling Tom out for being desperate for money, or attention, or “proof that he’s a bro”.

“He needed it bad enough to do that Netflix roast, in which he gallantly sacrificed the mothers of his children to clumsy third-rate comics, whose hammy punchlines fell like refrigerators hitting sidewalks, splatting Brady’s reputation for intelligence beneath them.”

…”Only sycophants blinded by Brady’s seven Super Bowl rings could have found the performance comedic.”

It is a pity that Gisele, who since her divorce has been linked to a jiu-jitsu trainer, became literally the butt of the night.

Glaser made a memorable reference to Valente – the aforementioned ju-jitsu trainer, saying, “How much would it suck for Tom…  just knowing your ex-wife’s new boyfriend could beat your a** while eating hers.”

Hart also went for this innocent dude, joking that Tom “f—ed your coach. But let me tell you something … that’s what you do to maintain your happiness. You understand, sometimes you got to f— your coach. You know who else f—ed that coach? Gisele. She f—ed that karate man.”

In another moment, Brady sat stock still when Hart made even more misogynistic jokes about Bündchen.

“How did you not see this coming? Eight f—ing karate classes a day. … The only bruises she had were on her a–. Everybody should have known it.”

As The Washington Post continues to observe:

There should have been plenty of ways to properly roast Brady: for his dimpled Shirley Temple act at news conferences yet his helmet-throwing rages on the sideline, for his epic loss in a cryptocurrency failure, for the rumors that he had plastic surgery, for his friendship with Donald Trump.

Instead, the audience was offered an endless litany of sex organ jokes. Real funny.

[sources:cosmopolitan&nypost]