[imagesource:rebelwilson/facebook]
Rebel Wilson has been doing the talk-show rounds lately to promote her tell-all book, Rebel Rising, says that she almost lost her virginity at a tech billionaire’s medieval-themed orgy just outside of Los Angeles – with a member of the Royals’ encouragement.
A ‘tech billionaire’s medieval-themed orgy, featuring a member of the royal family’ should probably be shocking words to read, but somehow it’s not that surprising. The debauchery in both milieu runs deep after all.
Writing in her memoir, the actor said she was invited to a “tech billionaire’s party” at a huge ranch “just outside LA” by an unnamed Royal who was “fifteenth or twentieth in line to the British throne”. According to the actress, she did not realise that the party was actually an orgy until 2AM when a tray of “molly”, or MDMA, was passed around.
Rebel claims that the invite was extended by a male friend who the Royal had informed that the party was in danger of turning into a sausage fest, and in desperate need of “more girls”. Keen to finally live up to her name and get rid of her ‘virgin’ label, Rebel claimed she tried to make herself as “physically appealing as possible”, and headed off to the ranch.
“I watched the British royal flounder around whilst I continuously hike up my boobs. They are my best physical asset.”
“There’s a huge private fireworks display and then all of a sudden, it’s two a.m.”
Showtime baby. Wilson continued: “A guy comes out with a large tray piled with what looks like a ton of candy. I’m like, ‘Ooooh, is that candy?’ and the guy holding the tray says, “No, this is the molly.’
“He says, ‘Oh, it’s for the orgy . . . it’s about to start . . . the orgies normally start at these things about this time.’”
Wilson unsurprisingly felt very much out of her depth and said she suddenly understood why the unidentified Royal was so keen to invite more women to the party.
“They weren’t talking about a boy-girl ratio like it was a year-eight disco. They were talking about an ORGY!”
By this time her friend was also missing in all the action, and worried about encountering a mass of heaving bodies in her designated room, the poor actress got the hell out of there.
“Needless to say, I hike up my damsel dress and run out of there as fast as I can – not looking back for fear I’ll witness some insane centipede of tech guys and Hollywood wispies around the fire pit.”
“Some of my friends have subsequently told me that I should’ve just tried the orgy. But that would’ve been like going from zero to a thousand.”
The actress hopes that speaking out about her experience will help youngsters feel less pressure to lose their virginity at an early age, saying “I think that could be a positive message. You obviously don’t have to wait until you’re in your thirties like me, but you shouldn’t feel pressure as a young person.”
This is usually where we would add a nice little rejoinder to tie the whole thing together, but frankly, I am at a loss for words – except maybe to be thankful I am neither rich, royal, or famous enough to have to wade through the siff petri dish that is their world.
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