[imagesource:gencraftai]

This year seems to herald the steady decline of online love as many singletons out there are said to be ditching traditional dating apps in favour of the pursuit of ‘real romance.’

Real romance is of course the old-school way of actually meeting someone in real life and falling in love. It’s in this ‘correct’ way that I met my missus – in a bar, after too many tequilas.

But for a generation that grew up with online matchmaking apps and a warped sense of romance thanks to too many Meg Ryan movies, finding love IRL might prove to be tougher than expected.

Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble were a game-changer for many lonely people and the relationships, as well as marriages, that resulted from swiping in the right direction, are a testament to the value they did indeed add to the lovelorn. Generation Z’s obsession with authenticity has however changed the rules of the dating game, and 2024 is the year this different, stricter, outlook on love will have its human trials.

A broad ditching of dating apps among young people appears to be more than just an optimistic New Year’s resolution, but rather a symptom of a generational shift in attitudes towards digital romance. More than 90% of Generation Z are unhappy with dating apps, and event providers like Eventbrite have noticed a 21% increase in demand for in-person speed dating events in the last year.

Big dating apps like Tinder are facing a steep drop as the internet’s first real generation rejects online dating, calling for the return of ‘real life connection’ and the ‘eradication of casual, low-maintenance dating culture’.

@_missyperez asking for a friend (it’s me, I’m the friend) #single #datingapps #dating #philadelphia ♬ original sound – Missy Perez

“When they started people thought they would liberate sexuality. But most dating apps have become very gendered and traditional, and that can be depressing,” says Dr Jenny van Hooff, a sociologist at Manchester Metropolitan University.

But as with most things GenZ, do the young ‘uns understand what looking for love in the real world entails?

The object of my own affection batted my advances for more than two weeks following that fateful night in The Shack, eventually succumbing to my maddening charm. There was no cute bumping into each other, locking eyes and falling in love. It was a frustrating and consistent assault on her better judgement that won the day, and although we are still under each other’s spell 20 years later, the start of our relationship resembled The Haunting of Hill House rather than My Best Friend’s Wedding.

“There’s this narrative that younger women have been fed where you’ll have this meet-cute. You’ll stumble into someone on your way to uni, you’ll drop your books, he’ll pick them up and you fall in love”

But with an entire adolescence dimly lit by a blue screen and soundtracked by the soft ping of notifications, it’s no surprise young people are seeking romance away from their phones.

“I would like to find someone that I actually care about for more than a week, and between my job and my social life it’s not that attractive to look for that in an app that is in the same folder as phone games or social media.”

Dating apps also make it hard for people to distinguish between those looking for a real connection, and those out for a casual hook-up. Apps with clearer boundaries have brought back an element of control to online dating, which was ironically at the heart of its attraction in the first place. But this has dwindled in recent years due to so-called ‘commitment anxiety,’ as seen by the increase of buzzwords like ‘situationships’ and ‘ghosting’.

Much of the dating app rejection appears to be due to Gen Z’s tendency to look back on previous decades with a rose-coloured lens – hence the current wave of nostalgia sweeping mainstream culture – so we’ll have to wait for next year’s trend lists to see if the snowflakes can find love in the real world in 2024.

“We have to be really careful about romanticising the past. The average age for marriage in the 70s was 22 for women and now it’s well into the 30s. Women aren’t willing to compromise and put up with behaviour they would have had to years ago, and that is the result of all these kinds of changes, like sexual liberation,”

I’ll leave you with some advice my mate Dave gave me around the same time I met my wife: “It’s the law of averages, dude. If I go to the same pub every night, odds are that the love of my life will saunter in at some point. I just have to recognise her when she walks in.”

Dave’s still single and a full-blown alcoholic, but at least he has a stool with his name on it at our local – and still believes in love. As an old fart who hasn’t dated in two decades, my advice to young singles out there is to just be open to the possibility of finding love. Not every interaction will result in a marriage with children, but don’t let that stop you from saying “Hi, my name is Dave.”

Elke pot het sy deksel.

[source: dazed]