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A 56-year-old woman from Tampa Florida has been happily married for three years now to a carnival ride called Bruce. Yes, you read that correctly, Bruce is indeed a carnival ride, all metal and cabling, known as a Skydiver, in Carnie World.

Linda and Bruce met in 1981, but seeing as how Linda was in a serious relationship with a train at the time, the couple only made their relationship legal three years ago.

This would be a good moment to mention that Linda is one of a number of people who practice Objectum Sexuality, a sexual orientation in which individuals feel attraction, arousal, and intimate emotional connections towards objects, such as a car, a building, a musical instrument, or a historical monument, among others.

As strange as it sounds, to people like Linda, these objects are often regarded as having their own personality, consciousness, or spiritual essence, and are treated with love, respect, and devotion by Objectum Sexuals.

Objectum Sexuals often report feeling a sense of companionship and understanding from their objects, which they may not experience with human partners. They may also feel a sense of empowerment and control in their relationships with objects, as they are able to fully customise and personalise their interactions.

At a time when people can claim to be a ten-foot alien and still demand respect, Linda’s ‘sexuality’ is still pretty ‘out there’. For one thing, how does a carnival ride say yes to a marriage proposal? Does it blink its lights twice for yes, or does it let out a hiss from its hydraulics?

Instead, she bought Bruce a mizpah coin – a promise of devotion between two loves in a time of struggle – and put it around one of his metal spokes. That’ll do it.

Dunno about this one. If you ascribe human attributes to an inanimate object, how does one justify marrying, or keeping ‘someone’ that cannot give consent? At best it feels like a forced marriage, at worst it’s slavery. That’s if you believe a steel carnival ride is capable of love and spirituality.

Linda’s first relationship was with an aeroplane, but we assume that didn’t work out as he was getting high all the time. She does however go on to say that some women like tall men with a colourful personality, and Bruce has all that. As she notes, “Bruce is just amazing when he stands up and is spread out.”

Jesus wept.

 

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The concept of Objectum Sexuality was first introduced in the early 2000s by Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, a Swedish woman who claimed to be in love with the Berlin Wall. She coined the term “Objectum Sexuals” to describe herself and others who felt attracted to objects.

Since then, the term has gained visibility and recognition, and research in this field has been gradually increasing.

Gender and sexuality is a minefield these days and most people side-step issues like this for their own well-being and online safety, but this seems to be a tad too much. Having a deep emotional connection with an object does not mean your feelings can ever be reciprocated.

It’s a fetish as best, or as some studies suggest, connected to autism.

Maybe I’ve just never met the right forklift before. Or a chandelier, like this interesting lady who grew from loving her drumkit to being enamoured by a light. Watch the video below.

[source:allohealth&instagram]