[imagesource: Elmond Jiyane, GCIS]

Nkaaaaandla.

You can hear it in JZ’s voice, can’t you?

Capetonians have returned to our beaches since the ban was lifted (and even before the ban was lifted), but up in Nkandla our former president has no such luck.

Thankfully, while he muses over how best to dodge testifying at the Zondo Commission, he can enjoy a splash in his pool, although that’s actually its secondary purpose.

Primarily, it’s a firepool, which Zuma went to great lengths to point out in 2015, when he allowed the media in to witness a demonstration.

There was also this video footage, which formed part of then Police Minister Nathi Nhleko’s Nkandla Report on May 28, 2015.

It really is a trip down memory lane:

Well played on that ending, too.

While we’re here, we may as well revisit journalist Gus Silber’s superb poem, ‘Carols By Nkandalight’, penned back in 2015:

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through Nkandla
The lights were ablaze
To the sound of “Amandla!”

While the rest of the nation
Was shedding its load
The power was strong
In this humble abode

Whose brilliant gleam
Could be viewed from in space
By a man in a sleigh
With a grin on his face

As he drove through the stars
In his dazzling red suit
He said “I’m coming to get you
To pay back the loot”

But the head of the house told him
Don’t be a fool
I spent it on building
This flaming big pool

So come sit beside me
And let’s get all boozy
In the Peace and Goodwill
Of my fire jacuzzi

I’ll raise up my glass
And say, “Ja, Noël Fine”
But I won’t pay the money
And I’ll never resign

But look to the lights
That shine over yonder
And let’s bring a halt to the
Blitzen and Donder

For now is the time to
Cease all your fighting
And shuttup complaining
That you haven’t got lighting

Joy to the world
Let the Angels sing Hark!
Enjoy your cold turkey
That you eat in the dark

Forget all the chaos
Ignore all the scandals
Let’s gather as one
By the light of our candles

And dwell on the things
That deserve celebration
As we dream of a brighter
More powerful nation

Equal parts hilarious and infuriating.

On the plus side, the weekend is within reach.

Hang in there.