Like all decent scribes, I have my go-to people for expert opinion on certain issues.

A gadget person, a tech trends person, an environmentalist, a media lawyer, a labour lawyer, a constitutional lawyer, a number-crunching economist, a global finance economist, a fund manager, a social media strategist and so forth.

It takes a little while to start building up a database of talking heads, but you eventually get your dependable people who know their stuff, and more importantly, know how to deliver a workable media quote.

As something of a generalist, I have a few names and numbers in many industries instead of many in one or two other industries. Most generalists tend to keep their crowd close, and won’t share their contacts like specialists do, I quickly found out. So I had to go make my own friends.

The problem with quoting the same small group of people is that the companies they work for tend to get more publicity than others. It’s a perfect marriage for the pundit concerned, and the journalist. The company of the talking head gets free publicity, and the journalist’s story gets that extra credibility by quoting a suit from a respectable company. Look at financial articles especially for clear examples of this practice. It’s not unethical, but not ideal either. I promised myself to expand my circle of pundits when I started working as a journalist, to try and keep things fresh and to get as many perspectives as possible, but very few corporate types are willing or even allowed to talk to the media. So when deadlines are short, the usual pundits will be used.

The other day I started thinking about how I collected reliable contacts, as I waded through the daily deluge of emails from PR people. Many of those I now approach regularly for comment have Twitter accounts. They have blogs, websites and a social media presence. They’re friendly and approachable.

Many contacts are employed as PR practitioners. Those that I contact when I need information are those who have made an effort to learn my interests, and keep me updated on the kind of information I find useful. Just like journalists find the right contacts, PRs also need to dole out the right information to the right hacks. For instance, I rarely – if ever – cover stock markets. I therefore have no use for that information. Periodic company results, I am very interested in. It’s subtle differences like that, that separate rubbish PRs from good ones, at least as far as I’m concerned as a journalist.

You’d be shocked at how few PRs seem to get this. Too often, once your email address gets into a company’s PR database, you’ll get sent every communiqué and press statement they ever send out. It just becomes noise. Then I met a PR who was not only personable (why are so many PRs pissy and rude?) but wanted to know what I was interested from her so she could send me the right emails. I didn’t actually realise up until I met this particular PR person that there was a good way to do this sort of thing.

You may wonder why a journalist would be willing to be seen as helping PRs.

We journalists like to complain about PRs. I didn’t study journalism, so never got the opportunity to pick up some of the bad habits of the industry. It’s always cute to note how many scribes enjoy hating PRs. I think the hatred is reciprocal (an explanation for their general foul attitudes when I call?). I appreciate that they have a job to do.

So, a kindly word to PR practitioners out there: I wouldn’t know how to do your job. But I know mine, and it sometimes means that we have to cooperate. Take a lesson from the pundits and talking heads that have mastered publicity. Be available. Pretending to be nice won’t hurt, especially if we are not phoning to enquire about some broiling scandal (seriously telecommunications companies – you’re the worst offenders here).

And for the love of all that is sweet and praiseworthy, journalists have interests. How about only sending them the emails they need? All it takes is asking. Really.

You want your way with the media? Learn from Cosatu secretary general Zwelinzima Vavi: kill us with kindness.