You know, just when I thought everyone knew the rules, some arsehole always seems to phone about business, or schedule a meeting, after one o’ clock on a Friday.

Absolutely bizarre! Who ARE these people?

Can’t you see everything work related ceases to exist after one on a Friday? Can’t you see that even the “working” Capetonians drink beers at their desks from one on a Friday?

Here is an idea of things to do on a Friday. Have a look at these pics taken last week when the ocean forgot how to make waves for five days.
(With apologies to the ex-pats)

Back to the story. I’m talking about those guys who like to pretend. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those ‘meeting hunters’ who feel that nothing can be accomplished without a physical hour together. They duck and dive and cheat and lie to trick you into having a meeting. But that’s not the end of it – they’ve got your hand and they’re not stopping till they rip the whole fucking arm off.

“Hey Seth! I was thinking we should have that meeting we chatted about towards the end of the week. How does that sound?”.

[I’m already quite edgy at the mention of the words “towards the end of the week“. To be QUITE honest, I personally can’t find a more comfortable time than 10h30 on a Tuesday for a 40 minute meeting]

“Umm, ja…..cool….I suppose. When were you thinking?”, I stutter.

[I use a tone of voice that, I hope ,indicates how HORRIFICALLY awkward I am feeling. My tone of voice could probably be compared to that of a 10 year old boy boy reluctantly agreeing with a priest that playing with his penis is a good idea]

“Well, I was thinking three o’ clock on Friday”

[Sweet Mary, Mother of God. Is this guy on crack?]

“I beg your pardon”, I allow him to rethink.

Our boy is clueless, “I said three on Friday is looking good for me”, he repeats.

WELL ITS NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR ME, FUCK NUT!

And so we are forced to lie about a conference that is going on “the whole of Friday”. Shame on you for making me lie!

I don’t know who these people are and I don’t know what they’re trying to prove, but no-one is impressed. Maybe they’re new in town and they haven’t heard about the rule. Maybe they’re from Jo’burg and they’re trying to show us how HARD and LATE they work. Well I am VERY impressed! You guys work VERY hard, now get me a gin and tonic with a twist of lime.

If you MUST have a meeting on a Friday, the only one you can do is the one at 10h30 at Caprice. That’s the one that goes on until the sun sets. Chat about business for ten minutes, then relax-ay-vu. In fact, I think that is what I”m supposed to be doing with James Stewart tomorrow. We’re collaborating on a new album.

Are we on, Jammo?