We all have our lapses of judgment. But some of us make such horrendously poor decisions that one simply has to ask, “What were they on?”. Every week we bring you three contenders in what can only be described as a battle of small wits. So, with great pleasure we present this week’s three La Fee Absinthe-Minded Moment of the Week finalists. Inside we have the Eric Miyeni, Shumsheer Singh Ghumman, and Piers Morgan. But who claims the prize for the most mindbogglingly foolish tomfoolery of the week? Click through to find out!

Third place – Shumsheer Singh Ghumman

Shumsheer Singh Ghumman. We’ve written about bankers behaving weirdly before, but your behaviour is especially unusual. How on earth did you expect to get away with throwing two wine bottle petrol bombs at a home in Clifton, with the person’s name on them, when it was widely known you had your first restraining order slapped against you in 2009? Secondly, last year, you were found guilty of harassing the house owner and sentenced to a fine and 180 hours of community service. Come now, Shumsheer. Obviously absinthe helps one’s confidence, but you still need use your brain and realise that petrol bombing someone is just not on.

Second place – Piers Morgan

Ah, Piersy. We’ve been tracking your movements for a while now and we always knew it was only a matter of time before it all began to catch up with you. You see, we knew there was absolutely no way you didn’t know anything about hackgate when it was happening right underneath your nose, as a tabloid editor. Next time you want to construct elaborate white lies about things, just make sure you haven’t posted anything on the interweb because someone will remember, and they will use an opportune moment to point it out.

The winner- Eric Miyeni

Columnists, columnists. If only text could illustrate condescending tone the way a voice can. You guys have really let the team down a few times recently. Look, it’s not entirely your fault – your editors have to take some of the blame – but Eric Miyeni, wow, guy. That was really something. I can almost visualise the racist rhetoric leaving your mouth like an infographic. Please Eric, relax, have another absinthe or two. Ms Haffajee does actually know better.