Sadly for those of you who enjoy watching a relationship fail before it’s even taken off, The Bachelor SA has run its course.

If you haven’t yet read our take on the season finale, and why the show was doomed from the start, here you go.

This means that M-Net’s Thursday, 7PM slot needs filling, which is where Survivor: Island of Secrets comes in.

Filmed over 39 days in Samoa, the latest season features 21 contestants, initially divided into three teams, doing battle for the big prize of R1 million.

To get you started, here’s the series promo:

Yeah, that’s your man Nico Panagio hosting once again.

All of the contestants are new, though, and it’s quite an interesting bunch.

We’ll feature the profiles in the order that M-Net uploaded them, to avoid anyone accusing us of bias.

(Please, rest easy in the fact that we really aren’t bothered.)

Pilates instructor Meryl wants you to know that there are brains behind the beauty – and that she can rap. 

Sales consultant Felix describes himself as adventurous, energetic and optimistic – he also has a sweet tooth, which Survivor will no doubt test. 

Shame, Danté wasn’t given a write-up on his profile video. Oh well.

51-years-young, Tania is an immigration consultant and a “bossy, alpha” personality, which may put her in the Survivor cross-hairs.

28-year-old architect Cobus is a gym bunny who likes to party – he also says he trusts too easily. 

Hang on – did he just say his all-time favourite food is the blue Doritos, but at the start of the video, it listed Bacon Kips? Drama already.

We are only five people in, and I’m regretting the decision to do this story, but on we soldier.

Medical doctor Ting Ting describes herself as bubbly and fun, but she’s scared of spiders – and failure.

He can’t handle direct sunlight for long periods of time and likes to snack, meet industrial engineer Jacques.

34-year-old Nicole is Mrs. South Africa 2018, and a mother, business owner and adventurer who’s willing to take risks.

Age is just a number for 54-year-old real estate agent Paul, and he’s looking to make alliances on Survivor from the word go.

Seipei is 40 and calls herself “The Biker Queen” – she also says she has no secrets, which should make for an interesting time on the Island.

Life coach Lee-Anne is sporty, and as Mrs. Cape Town 2018, she helps empower the underprivileged and women.

No offence, Lee-Ann, but if I was stuck on a remote island for an extended period, I really don’t want to be lectured about my poor life choices.

Fitness model, coach and athlete Steffi is 27-years-old and says she’s passionate about people. 

Peoples’ person Nathan is only 25 but he’s already the director of a post-production company – he also says his weakness might be that he’s overly emotional.

28-year-old video producer Rob likes to have fun, and despite his imposing frame, he says he’s a softie at heart.

Right, 14 down, and seven more to go. Please, we will get through this together.

A professional athlete, 26-year-old Rocco likes to stay active, but has difficulty saying no to people.

Personal investment analyst Mmaba is 28, opens up too easily and wishes she was a millionaire – welcome to the show. 

28-year-old Durão loves lobster, chocolate cake and the “burn” of the gym, and he says he has a weird sense of humour.

A nursing sister of note, Laetitia describes her personality as “snap, crackle and pop”.

Rose-Lee is a 33-year-old crime scene forensic analyst who says she’s often too concerned about others’ wellbeing. 

Mike is a 21-year-old radio presenter who has a tendency to be bossy, and he’s always wanted to be on Survivor.

Financial consultant Geoff likes to be liked but can be sneaky and manipulative – which could be the perfect Survivor combo.

We made it, people. That’s all 21 profiled.

High fives all around.

Tonight, 7PM, M-Net.

I’m going for a lie-down.