Look, I know bidding at an auction is an intimdating business. What the hell’s the deal with those wooden panels? Why is that fat man with the shiny face speaking so quickly? Why can’t I stop myself? What does he mean, “Sold”? Did I just bid away my unborn child’s tuition fees for the sake of not “losing” to an octogenarian woman with a quick wrist and a handsome estate?

All of that said, you should bid on this:

New local online bidding site, smokoo.co.za, is auctioning off a flight to the edge of space in a Russian MIG fighter. Read that again.

You get flown to Russia, stay there for five days, and at some point a Russian fighter pilot (sadly not Vladimir Putin) takes you to the edge of space in a MIG-31 fighter jet. You can call me Goose.

Each bid on this sweet little prize costs R15. Which is good, because my self-control does not come with a R15 limit. Hence, I’m fairly confident that I won’t be able to bid away my progeny’s inheritance.

In between flying to the edge of space, there’s also the small matter of staying at the best hotels, eating at the best restaurants, and cruising through Moscow in a train. Honestly – it’s an adventure with the kind of epic proportions that only a Cold War superpower could provide. Check out the itinerary.

You don’t think flying in a MIG would be that awesome?

Well you obviously haven’t seen this soviet-era-production-value video.

Rumour is that they play that actual soundtrack while you’re tearing through the ether.

We have two weeks to bid on this little bonanza, friends. The clock is ticking.

Over.