Attempting to smuggle anything is not for the faint of heart.

Whether it’s drugs, booze, iPhones or animals, there’s always going to be someone along the way whose mission it is to catch you out.

Yet every year, billions of dollars in illegal narcotics circle the globe, driven by the demand of millions of users. In response to authorities trying to intercept these goods, traffickers have developed a variety of inventive ways to obscure their cargo.

From fake food to puppies, The Telegraph gives us 10 of the most inventive, yet awful smuggling attempts that have been bust:

Vanilla wafers filled with cocaine:

A Guatemalan citizen arrived at George Bush Intercontinental Airport from Guatemala City with packages of vanilla wafers. But when customs officials opened them up, they said they found they were filled with cocaine instead of cream filling. He also had bags of chips that had small bundles of cocaine inside them.

The 4 pounds of cocaine had a street value of more than $60,000 (about £39,000)

Cocaine strapped to legs:

Two passengers were found with cocaine strapped to their legs according to Customs and Border Protection officers at JFK Airport, New York. This discovery came when two men tried to bring more than 10 kilos (23lbs) of cocaine into the United States on April 19, officers said. Both men allegedly had the drug in packages fastened to their legs to be smoothly concealed under trousers, and one had it strapped to his back

Fake, green cocaine-filled bananas:

A fruit wholesaler working for Colombian drug cartels stored more than 100kg of high grade cocaine worth £24 million in these rather green fake bananas in his warehouse, a Southwark Crown Court has heard.

Crystal meth in Ferrero Rocher wrappers:

A woman was arrested for attempting to smuggle crystal meth in Ferrero Rocher wrappers. The 46-year woman was arrested at Sydney Airport, Australia, after Australian Border Force officers discovered 500 grams of the drug. She will appear at Darwin Magistrates Court facing charges of supplying methamphetamine in commercial quantity, possessing methamphetamine in commercial quantity and possessing a thing to administer a dangerous drug.

Stashed liquor:

Customs officers on King Fahad Causeway arrested a man for trying to smuggle liquor under his traditional garment from Bahrain into Saudi Arabia. They frisked him and confiscated 14 bottles of whisky which were taped to his legs and waist.

Stashed iPhones:

Customs officials at Futian Port in China were suspicious of a man’s ‘weird posture’. They made a startling discovery when they searched him as he attempted to leave leave Hong Kong: a suit of armour made of 94 iPhones and several rolls of cling film:

Puppies implanted with liquid heroin:

A gang of Columbian drug dealers surgically implanted liquid heroin into these adorable puppies as part of a massive drug smuggling plot:

Performance and image enhancing drugs:

In 2008 Australian Customs seized 150 of these little bottles labelled as ‘gay lube oil’. They actually contained prohibited performance and image enhancing drugs manufactured and sent from Thailand:

Heroin woven into a carpet rug:

German Customs confiscated 45 Kg of heroin woven into a carpet rug in Leipzig in January, 2014:

Camberwell carrots:

Drug smugglers were caught trying to hide more than a ton of marijuana disguised as carrots while crossing the U.S.-Mexico border. The drug runners tried driving through the Pharr-Reynosa International Bridge the U.S. Customs and Border Protection said. They seized 2,817 packages of marijuana, wrapped into carrot shapes with orange plastic tape.

Oldest drug smuggler?

A 91-year-old Australian man has been charged with importing cocaine inside packets of soap in a crime that – if proven – would make him the world’s oldest drug dealer. Victor Twartz, from Sydney, allegedly smuggled ten pounds (4.5 kilograms) of cocaine on a flight from New Delhi on July 8, but apparently was a victim of a scam. The drugs were found inside 27 packets of soap.

And there you have it; all the cases exemplifying what not to do when attempting to smuggle some illegal goods into another country.

This is also why you never volunteer to ferry anything overseas for anyone, mkay?

[source:telegraph]