Finally!

To some, the new moon in Virgo might suggest that it’s time for some spiritual healing, but for those with a more Christian persuasion, it might mean the beginning of the end.

You see, this Saturday is the day the Rapture will begin. Yuuurp.

Christian astrologer David Meade explained that the key to understanding all of this is the number 33, reports Salon:

In the Bible, Jesus is said to have lived for 33 years before being crucified. Elohim, the Canaanite god who was later adopted as the supreme god of ancient Israel, is mentioned 33 times in the Bible.

All of this links back to the constellation Virgo and last month’s solar eclipse which was visible throughout most of the United States, according to Meade.

“When the eclipse begins on August 21, the sunrise will be dark, just as Isaiah predicts,” he told the British tabloid Daily Star last month.

Since the totality of the eclipse was first visible in Oregon, the 33rd state, and ended in South Carolina on the 33rd degree latitude, this means that 33 days after the event, something enormous is going to happen.

And that day is September 23.

According to Meade, that enormous event is going to involve Nibiru, a supposed hidden planet with an orbit that is so large, astronomers haven’t been able to detect it.

Get a load of this:

But Meade isn’t the only one with a random Bible-influenced end-of-the-world theory. The Bible passage Revelation 12: 1-2 predicts a huge astrological event, explains Indy100.

A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head.

She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth.

Apparently the woman represents Virgo, the crown is Leo and the feet is the moon. But that’s not all:

The final part of the puzzle is the sun, which will pass through the alignment on 23 September (allegedly) bringing with it destruction and suffering.

If, and that’s a big ‘if,’ the stars align in this way and this prophecy comes true believers have speculated that the end of the world could take place over a seven-year period.

During those seven years the Antichrist will arrive and bring with it devastation, which doesn’t sound very nice at all.

We can thank the high heavens for one thing though: Monday is a pseudo public holiday. Yay us.

[source: independent&salon]