What happens in Constantia stays in Constantia, until someone has a few too many glasses of wine at a dinner party and the tongue loosens.

Of course the winelands don’t have a monopoly on swinging (here’s looking at you, Atlantic Seaboard), and the folks over at VICE went looking for those willing to share their stories.

We’ll start with 25-year-old Kristen (all names have been changed), and her rather gigantic experience:

I’d just started seeing a guy who was a bit older than me, and he was non-monogamous, and we’d been talking about exploring that for probably six months. …We had these friends who had been together for more than ten years. They were non-monogamous, and we’d hung out with them a whole bunch of times…

I was willing to take one for the team. Although I had no idea how much I was going to have to take…

I remember the moment of the unveiling. We were all in their bed fooling around and getting naked. He took off his pants, and he had this horse cock. And I mean that sincerely. I went to Mexico when I was a kid, and there were all these horses… That was the image that immediately went through my head.

…Overall, it was a good experience, and I’m glad it happened with those people in that situation. My partner and I went on to a lot of other non-monogamous situations. We’re still non-monogamous now.

On to Ryan, 35:

…we were all just hanging out one night, and after more than a few drinks, we suddenly ended up in their bedroom, in a full-swap-type situation of our own. I didn’t even have time to be terrified because things just escalated so quickly. Back then, I didn’t know anything about non-monogamy. I don’t know if that label even existed back then. I didn’t even know they’d had these conversations.

So all the talking about it beforehand—that was the scary part. Way scarier than when it’s actually happening. Because it was a place where we were comfortable, and with people we were comfortable with. It happened very organically. I didn’t end up staying with that partner for long—for reasons not related to non-monogamy—but it started a trend.

Happy for you, Ryan. Also I really don’t care.

Let’s finish with Trina, 36:

A lot of us single moms are part of single mom Facebook groups, and of course, we end up talking about dating. I was part of a conversation about Plenty of Fish, and all the douchebags you find on there, and one day, one of these women asked if she could take me out for lunch. We went for sushi, and she told me about sex clubs and swingers’ resorts…

So I became a member of Club Eden [a local swingers’ club], and I joined the Facebook group. I never went, but I was still on these dating sites. One day, some guy messaged me on OkCupid, saying he and his girlfriend wanted to have a threesome…

Eventually, they came to my house one night, we shared a bottle of wine, and ended up having a threesome. I remember we were all chit-chatting, and none of us really knew how to transition to the bedroom, so I finally just said: “Uh, when do we go upstairs?” And they were like: “Oh, OK. Let’s just do that now.”

And it was really good. Well, she and I was really good. He and I, not so much. I’d asked friends who’d done this sort of thing before about whether I should go through with it, because he and I didn’t have that same connection, and they all said, “It so doesn’t matter. If you have a connection with the woman, it’ll be good.” I just jumped in with both feet. I’d never even kissed a woman, and I totally ate pussy that night.

What a time to be alive.

Use it, don’t use it, start a Facebook group and invite us.

It’s your life so you do you.

[source:vice]