Dear Nelly,

I remember when I first laid eyes on you. It was in the video for Turn Off the Light. I was just one of the guys at the time, not really taking any notice of the pop tarts on the scene – Britney, Christina, Kylie and the rest. But there was something different about you. Pretty, but still approachable. All those bubblegum blondes looked so disposable next to you with your olive skin, green eyes and black hair. But it was the song that truly made you the belle of the ball. It was pop, but it had an edge. It had elements of hip-hop, a touch of rootsy acoustic guitar, and some electronica. Most of all it was the way your voice cut through: “They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough, well it’s till’ I turn off the light, turn off the light, and I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down, till’ you see all my dreams, not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems.”

That is so true Nelly! Nothing in this world is quite as it seems. And when you say you’re like a bird and you want to fly away I totally agree. You are JUST like a bird. I seem to remember that was your breakthrough hit, before Turn Off the Light. In the video for I’m Like A Bird you were laying in a field and then all your friends lifted you up above their heads and stuff, because you’re special, and when someone’s special, other people don’t mind lifting them up above their heads. When someone thinks they’re special, people will tend to “accidentally” drop them, but not you. You’re the real deal and everybody knows it. If you did a stage dive, the audience would definitely NOT part ways like they did for Courtney Love that one time.

Then your second album, Folklore, came out and you started exploring other sounds and instruments. Only you could get away with putting a banjo in your music, like you did with that song Powerless (Say What You Want). You must be the first Latino girl that’s ever been in the same room as a banjo, let alone put one in your song. And that’s another thing I really like about you – you don’t limit yourself.

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I was a little concerned when I heard you were teaming up with Timbaland for your third album. A lot of artists he produces all start sounding the same. I was afraid you would lose some of your uniqueness. But I was wrong. I should have trusted your judgment, Nelly. Please don’t hate me. The songs you did for that album were incredible, especially Say It Right, All Good Things (Come To An End) and Promiscuous is cool but I guess it’s more of chick’s anthem.

And just in case anyone was starting to think you were going to do another major pop album with a celebrity-producer you went and did an entire record in Spanish. Admittedly I haven’t checked that one out (I heard you had got married and I needed some time apart to get over it), but I did hear some of them on your new greatest hits album, The Best Of Nelly Furtado. You sound so great singing in Spanish. It could have sounded cheesy I guess, but you pulled it off.

Now that I’m over your marriage, this album is the perfect collection of your best songs. Plus it’s one of the few records my fiancée and I can listen to together. Did I mention I was also getting married? It’s true, I’ve finally moved on, even though you’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

So anyway, I guess I’ll be hearing you on the radio sooner or later. Congrats on The Best Of Nelly Furtado and good luck with everything else. It was a shame that Gaddafi guy turned out to be such a nutcase – how were you to know? But I think you’re doing the right thing by giving the million dollars he paid you to charity. Nice going. I’ve told all my friends to buy your new record by the way.

Always,

G-Man. x

Read G-Man’s past Album Reviews here