You guys remember all that hoo-ha over Gervais’ Golden Globes bit? It was pretty great. In all likelihood, that’s why the Oscars are being hosted by similarly scathing comedians, Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Sweetheart that he is, Gervais has offered them some free material, “in case they have a few minutes to fill.”

(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)

JF
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.

AH
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.

(Applause)

JF
Thank you. I’m James Franco.

AH
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.

JF
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.

AH
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

JF
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.

It’s pretty wonderful. The entire spiel of self-deprecation is over at Gervais’ blog – please, take a couple of minutes out of your Friday morning to check it out.

[Source: Ricky Gervais]