The teaser trailer for Cowboys & Aliens is out. The title may be a little worrisome for you, and maybe you’re afraid that, with Harrison Ford being there, this is going to be some sort of Morning-Glory-esque weep-fest starring Rachel McAdams. I put it to you that this movie is going to be the best thing in your life when it gets released.

Now, I know, this is hard for you; you may beg to differ. Maybe you’d even like to suggest that Zack Snyder and his little featurettes are perfectly respectable films, and that I should move with the times– or maybe you should shut up. Daddy’s talking.

Let me break this down for you:

1) The title. It’s awesome. Cowboys and Aliens sounds like some bullshit Pixar deal that’s going to come with 3D glasses, except BOOM it’s about Daniel Craig blowing aliens up while wearing a cowboy hat. This movie is going to make the words ‘Cowboy’ and ‘Alien’ cool again, after both got crapped on by ‘Brokeback Mountain’ and ‘Aliens,’ respectively.

2) Harrison Ford gets to be badass again. He won our hearts in Blade Runner and kept us warm in Star Wars; he was Indiana goddamned Jones. Then he left us for Meg Ryan in Six Days Seven Nights and I’ll be damned if I was going to sit and watch him castrate the rest of his career. This movie will let us beat the youth with a tire iron and explain why you don’t mess with Han Solo.

3) Jon Favreau gets to stretch his director’s legs in this flick, after his last two independent films, which you may have heard of – Iron Man and Iron Man II?

4) Olivie Wilde. She has a naked fireside scene. So help me god if I have to justify why this is good to you, I will cut you.

It’s out next year, and it is going to be awesome.

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