Screw G.I. Joe, The A-Team are the quintessential All-American action heroes from the ’80s… destined to be everyone’s favourite crack commando squad of mercenaries from now until the end of time. I can tell… I had a Murdock action figure (don’t judge me). Action, adventure, comedy and mild peril… The A-Team had it all and who can forget Hannibal Smith’s wise-cracks, disguises and cigar-champing, B.A.’s ingenuity, mohawk and bling, Murdock’s voices, madcap antics and crazy eyes or Faceman’s erm… face.

They brought television to the people like Robin Hood and his merry men would’ve if they’d had TV in their day with action-packed adventure, comedy, crime and heaps of explosive (and surprisingly blood-free) cartoon violence for the masses. Now they’re back from Vietnam… *cough* Iraq and in 20 years… possibly Zimbabwe? No, not the original teamsters… George Peppard’s gone over the top for the final chukka, Mr. T’s just beaten cancer, Dwight Schultz has probably been committed and Dirk Benedict probably looks more like Keith Richards by now. It would’ve been the equivalent of a Rolling Stones reunion… but sadly, the G-Team or Geriatric Team was not meant to be.  “Da-da-da…da-da…da?”

Catch rest of the theme tune, movie review and trailer after the jump…

“I love it when a plan comes together.” The same can be said for The A-Team (2010), produced by legendary directors Ridley and Tony Scott, directed by Joe Carnahan, written by Skip Woods (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quintin “Rampage” Jackson and South Africa’s very own Sharlto Copely, more commonly referred to as Wikus from District 9. On paper, a match made in heaven and despite some early skepticism, the A-Team’s own A-Team have pulled it off in gritty, trigger happy style. They said it couldn’t be done… giving an adored, nostalgic and action-packed old school adventure series from the ’80s a makeover with respectful, well-rounded feature film entertainment for modern audiences… they were wrong.

The new adventure is a bit like jamming two A-Team episodes together. It starts off like Green Zone with a gritty militaristic slant and then quickly turns on the taps for something similar to The Losers. The first 50 minutes are dedicated to a sort of prequel in which each of the team members are united by coincidence and fate to serve together over 8 years in a series of missions during the Iraq war.

Their introduction stays true to the TV series with references to the Mexican drug wars “movie” and Murdock’s hospital scene. The second half of the film sets up an epic A-Team heist, starting with the reunification of The A-Team and a quest to clear their names with the U.S. Military, who suspect them of committing a crime involving monetary printing plates for which they were framed.

“There’s no ‘I’ in A-Team, fool!”

The secret to success was the fact that the original A-Team was already quite a superficial, corny and tongue-in-cheek affair. It was light, character-driven and action-packed TV entertainment for the whole family. Well, the same spirit shines through in the new A-Team as plot and blood are used as sparingly as Paris Hilton’s panties. Carnahan was a good choice for director, a man who understands action and knows how to derive great entertainment value as demonstrated by Smokin’ Aces. The only hurdle being that he had to cut back on the trademark frenetic, bloodthirsty rampage of violence and up the performances… just imagine the carnage if Tarantino had been let loose on The A-Team!

The casting was incredibly important for the remake, since it was the characters and the chemistry that made the television series. It’s difficult to imitate such set-in-stone characterisations and each actor deserves at least a B+ for their depictions in terms of likeness of character and appearance. You quickly get used to the new setup with B.A. Baracus (Jackson) muttering the odd ‘fool’ reference, Murdock (Copely) doing the voices, Hannibal (Neeson) leading from the front and Faceman (Cooper) charming the socks off the ladies.

Jessica Biel and Patrick Wilson lend their star power to the supporting cast as CIA agents with a tip of the hat to the character of media correspondent and sausage fest mediator, Amy Allen. The weakest rendition is that of Face by Bradley Cooper, who has defied Gillette and defiled the original Faceman with designer stubble. That being said, you could argue that Benedict’s straight-laced “pretty boy” TV performance was the most superficial of the bunch, giving Cooper very little to go on… but still.

The intense editing makes the film seem like a good substitute for a strobe light, but keeps the eye interested and the brain engaged without actually affecting “the little grey cells”. The CGI is on par with X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which was functional and a bit iffy at times, yet the airborne assaults hold up thanks to the rapid-fire editing. Carnahan’s direction is more about style than substance, which suits The A-Team right done to the core and keeps things light. The plot is secondary to the heist-type action set pieces and it’s more about getting the characters right and making a fitting tribute to the ’80s classic. While the soundtrack gives the film great energy with The Sex Pistols, The Black Keys and even Rage Against The Machine’s Tom Morello bolstering the classic “da-da-da…da-da…da” theme tune.

All in all, the new The A-Team (2010) doesn’t harm the reputation of the original A-Team and will encourage people to watch the old action comedy capers with renewed interest. It’s fun, action-packed, corny and executed with great panache… a good summation of any decent A-Team episode and a fitting tribute to the original The A-Team.

In a gravelly voice:“Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.”

The bottom line: Funtastic

Release Date: 20 August, 2010

Watch ‘The A-Team’ (2010) Extended Trailer
Watch ‘The A-Team’ TV Series Intro

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