Ultimate Peroni Experience For Thursday’s Italy Game – “Esperienza Peroni” comes to Cape Town, so come and enjoy the ultimate Peroni experience! Aperitivo specially created by the Peroni Chef Craig Hounsom on Thursday in Camps Bay from 15h00 before the Italy game! Ice cold Peroni will be served whilst guests enjoy this ultimate Peroni experience! [peroni]

World Cup Fan On Trial For Entering England Locker Room, Scolding David Beckham – The England soccer fan who walked into the team’s locker room and vented his frustration at players after their draw against Algeria will be tried for trespass by a South African court on Friday. Pavlos Joseph, 32, from Crystal Palace, was banned from attending future World Cup matches following the incident at Green Point Stadium last Friday. [foxnews]

Wimbledon’s Men’s Singles Feature No Poms – First Time In History – Well, there’s a thirst first for everything! For years pundits have been saying Englishmen at Wimbledon are no-hopers and now there’s proof – the men’s singles will feature no players from England for the first time in its history. I don’t understand. But what about Timiny? Surely he can still do it? Come on Tim!! [skynews]

St. Peter Cleared Of Blasphemy – St Peter was expressing his feelings, not swearing or blaspheming, when he urged Jesus not to “fuck around” in a golf game, the office of the press ombudsman ruled on Monday. The ruling followed a complaint by a member of the public against an article in Sports Illustrated magazine, about the pursuit of sporting perfection. [news24]

Lady Gaga Banned From NY Yankees Clubhouse – Grace Jones wannabe, Lady Gaga didn’t make enough of a spectacle of herself at Friday’s Yankees game when she wore only a black bra and panties barely covered by a team shirt. She got absolutely shit-faced and is now forever banned from the Yankees clubhouse. I usually reserve the word for males, but take it from me as fact, Lady Gaga is an asshole. [radar]

BP Has Spent $2Billion So Far On Oil Spill – BP has spent $2 billion in two months of fighting its Gulf of Mexico oil spill and compensating victims, with no end in sight to the disaster or the price tag. The British oil giant released its latest tally of response costs Monday, including $105 million paid out so far to 32,000 claimants. The figure does not include a $20 billion fund that BP PLC last week agreed to set up to continue compensating Gulf residents and businesses. [msnbc]

William And Kate Move In Together – After completing their first overseas tour together in Africa, Prince William and Prince Harry will soon head for home – and they are both facing big changes in their personal lives.For William, who celebrates his 28th birthday on Monday, reports of an impending engagement will be further fuelled by the news his girlfriend Kate Middleton has moved in with him. [hellomagazine]

Vuvuzela Movie Trailer Spoofs – Yesterday we gave you a Vuvuzela movie spoof trailer from Invictus. But now it seems the latest global icon has been popping up in more than just our own movies. Harry Potter, for one, has been introduced to the funny yellow trumpet. One wonders if his magic spells can quieten the noisy terror! Better yet, could young Harry fly one? [harry]

Madoff Might Be Hiding $9Billion Secret Stash – Ponzi king Bernard Madoff is telling fellow jailbirds that he secretly funneled $9 billion in swiped funds to three people before he was nabbed, an inmate told The Post. Madoff says that his partner in crime Frank DiPascali knows who the recipients are — and that he suspects DiPascali is using that information to cut a better deal with the feds. [nypost]

iPhone Now Has A Windows Live Messenger App – Compatible with iOS4 (dropping sometime today), Microsoft’s Windows Live Messenger app for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch combines IM functionality with Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and Flickr support. It’s a free download, and even has Hotmail support built-in too. [gizmodo]

Sepp Flying On Kulula – Sepp, a young Boston Terrier from Cape Town, is receiving free flights from low fare airline kulula during the next month following an offer to fly the president of FIFA around South Africa. Responding to an advert placed by the low fare airline in the Sunday Times, the dog’s owners pointed out that the offer didn’t specify which Sepp the ad, referred to. Hysterical! [guateng]

Lennon Lyrics Sell For $1.2Million – The original handwritten lyrics for the hit Beatles song “A Day in the Life” was sold at a Sotheby’s auction Friday for 1.2 million dollars.Bidding for the manuscript shot past expectations to reach 1,202,500 dollars. Sotheby’s had expected a final price of between 500,000 and 700,000 dollars. Hmm, I wonder what my original of Woman would get.. [luxuo]

New Sea Point Promenade Statues – Have you guys seen the awesome sculptures of the little girl sunbather and her friend the dragonfly all over Sea Point prom at the moment? Word is that the sculptress is a lady from Joburg who paid to erect and make them herself. They are so pretty, and they add such a good energy to the area. [capetowngirl]

Do You Drive a Chick Car? It’s common knowledge around Cape Town that certain brands of automobiles reveal their drivers to be chicks, or—worse—undercover chicks. Finally, researchers have quantified the most feminine cars. If you drive one, you are a total chick. Looking at you, VW. [gawker]

[thanks dean, robbie, nico]