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Confused by the headline? Buckle up, it’s not going to get much clearer than that.

While scrolling through Instagram this weekend, I happened upon a reel that, at first glance, seemed ripe for one of those ‘stitch incoming’ posts. My smile quickly faded as I realised that there would be no spider jumping at the screen or a baby screaming ‘Deez Nuts!’ This was a serious business.

The post featured a lady named Diana Cooper excitedly telling her 154,000 followers about the portal to Pluto that they will be fully activating on the 5th of May. The portal, seemingly a mosaic in her lawn, will allow ‘them’ to access Pluto at the 11th dimensional frequency. She seemed very excited about this as Pluto, according to her, is “absolutely awesome’.

 

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A post shared by Diana Cooper (@dianacooperangels)

Now I don’t know whether they managed to activate the portal to Pluto via the 11th-dimensional frequency over the weekend, but I did note that this particular page has 154,000 followers, which did nothing to clear up the fog of confusion that had engulfed my sense of reality at this point. I have plenty of questions, but first, let’s look at the bearer of such wondrous news.

According to her biography, Diana Cooper is “the author of over 30 books & oracle decks and has been connecting people to angels, dragons, unicorns, and Atlantis in preparation for ascension to the New Golden Age”.

Born on the 7th of September 1940 in the Himalayas ‘at the exact second the first bomb fell on London’, she found her calling after “a beautiful six-foot-tall golden angel stood in front of me and pulled me out of my physical body. We flew together and it showed me many things”.

After three angels appeared to her in the bathtub, she wrote New Light on Angels, which led to an appearance on a morning TV talk show. Several aura photographs and golden angels later, Cooper has now become one of the more popular ‘channels’ on Instagram and regularly introduces portals to planets and star systems via her garden.

She also runs the Diana Cooper School of White Light from whence “Teachers and Master Teachers throughout the world offer workshops and courses which will give you inspiration, wisdom, knowledge and different tools to use on your way to the new Golden Age”.

We’re barely skimming the surface of her amazing journey here, but none of what I have read thus far has given me any clarity on how activating the 11th-dimensional frequency can open a portal to Pluto. Hell, don’t you at least need a crystal for something like that? What is an 11th-dimensional frequency anyway?

There are too many questions here.

Did any of the 154,000 people who follow this confusing Instagram page manage to get to Pluto? How was the weather? But mostly, what the f*** does any of this mean? I may not be the only one who is in the dark here, as several comments to the ‘Pluto portal post’ prove.

“Pretty sure that’s the lid for your septic tank.”

“Wait until she opens the portal to Uranus.”

“I think the cosmic SatNav is way off on one of the portals! We’ve had nothing but people teleport up in the guest bathroom all day. I mean really, it’s just not on after the 15th inter-dimensional rambler! What are the neighbours starting to think?”

One follower ‘got it’ though.

“Amazing thank you ! ☺️✨ Also I find it really sad that there are people who have nothing better to do than making fun of a wise elderly woman who’s living out her highest potential.”

I asked around the 2OV office today but most of the raconteurs that linger here just backed away slowly and asked how The Burn was – I didn’t go, but understood what they were getting at.

If you’ve ever managed to open a portal in your lawn, please drop us a line. There are folks out there getting celestial joy from something that we will never understand, and we want in!