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My neighbour’s dog, Bruno, is one of Oranjezicht’s most vocal defences against the scourge of crime. He’s also very vocal whenever he sees a cat, a pedestrian, the moon, the sky, or hears a squirrel fart in one of the trees that line our otherwise quiet road.

Either there is a thug in every shrub, or squirrels pass gas a lot because Bruno barks incessantly. So much so, that he is affectionately known as “Shut the f*** up Bruno!” by most of the irate folks that live within earshot of the tiny dachshund.

There is however a remedy that doesn’t involve profanity, and Capetonians might be surprised that their own little crime-alert nuisance could cost you more than a good night’s sleep.

Those who didn’t know about the city’s animal by-laws might be shocked to hear that any dog that barks continuously for three minutes in a 30-minute period is considered a problem and the owner may get an R500 fine. And if Bruno keeps yapping away, that fine can go up to R1,000.

But Oranjezicht is not the only suburb suffering the onslaught of “Arf Arf Arf”, and I might be complaining with ‘white bread in my hands’ – as my mother used to call it when a privileged person complains. For many Cape Town folks, a dog is the only defence against the criminals who sniff around their neighbourhoods.

Residents of Nyanga, for instance, question how the city can fine them over something they have little control over. Nandipha Mcekethi, a resident of Nyanga township, doesn’t understand why the city is fining the dog owners.

“I am stressed about this because I have more than four dogs. They don’t only bark at people passing next to my house, but sometimes they also bark at cars, which means I will be in debt soon. I hope no one reported me to the City of Cape Town,” Nandipha said.

“Dogs protect us from criminals. We can’t train them when to bark because they might keep quiet when criminals come into the yard.”

Another dog owner, speaking anonymously, wants the city to allow dogs to be dogs.

“A dog’s job is to bark. Most of us don’t train dogs to know when to bark. We stay in the township. We don’t have money to buy food for our families. Where are we supposed to have money to pay for barking dogs?”

Under South African law, owners may not keep any dog that barks for more than six minutes in any hour or more than three minutes in any half hour. An official may order the owner to take necessary steps to stop the disturbance and owners are required to keep the dog under proper control.

JP Smith, Cape Town’s MMC for Safety and Security, said the city’s Public Emergency Communications Centre receives numerous calls for noise complaints every day. Although most of these are for late-night noise from parties, many complaints are also about barking dogs.

“The animal by-laws state that any dog that barks for three uninterrupted minutes over 30 minutes is seen as a nuisance and the owner may be liable to an R500 fine and then told to take further steps to fix the situation,” said Smith. “Failing to do so would result in an additional R1,000 fine and further court action.”

There seems to be no real solution to eternally barking dogs in Cape Town, and perhaps this writ is the result of too little sleep, but even with Bruno going ape-sh*t over a leaf drifting on the wind, I just can’t see myself phoning the fuzz on my neighbour.

Your experience may be different, but for now, I’ll just put on some headphones and try to ignore the little bastard next door.

[source:scrolla]