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In an interview with Welsh rugby player Dan Biggar at the Kolisi family home in Paris, Siya opened up about his childhood marred by violence and hunger, how gender-based violence impacted his marriage, the power of singing, and whether or not he would ever get into politics.

Dan was left feeling flabbergasted and in awe of the Springboks captain, describing the Daily Mail exclusive interview as “one of the most surreal and inspiring conversations I’ve had. One that will live with me for a long time.”

The Welshman visited Kolisi less than a month after the Big Bok had led his side to a second successive World Cup win in the French capital, and confessed to being nervous ahead of their meeting. In the end, he said he came away from it “feeling numb with emotion” after Siya opened up about the hardest moments of his life.

🗣️ ‘I want to encourage people in the township to have wild dreams’

Siya Kolisi opens up on suffering childhood hunger and violence in moving first interview since clinching World Cup glory

✍️ Dan Biggar

— Mail Sport (@MailSport) November 24, 2023

Siya grew up in Zwide, iBhayi, a township in Port Elizabeth (now Gqeberha). His parents were in their teens when Siya was born, and he said he went days without eating, sustaining himself with sugar water before bed to feel full and asking neighbours for a cup of raw rice. He said school was a solace, as it was where he could play sports and get a meal. Siya admitted to smoking and drinking from a young age, but while his friends went down a different path, he was saved by rugby as he found a sense of belonging, even training in thorny fields in bare feet.

But while he managed to escape his life of struggle, Kolisi still bears the physical and emotional scars of his often traumatic childhood, confessing that his “heart was so hard” after seeing things “no child should see”. While counselling and therapy have helped him to soften and deal with the emotional trauma, he can still recall scary incidents that he considered to be “normal”.

The Racing 92’s newest star player even revealed that, at one stage, he and his wife Rachel had no choice but to turn to marriage counselling “because my heart was so hard and I didn’t know how to speak”.

 

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A post shared by Rachel Kolisi (@rachelkolisi)

Siya touched on the toxic intermingling of love and violence in South Africa further:

“In my community you see it so many times that it becomes normal. That’s not good, being immune to things like that. If a man and a woman argued, then it would end up in a fight, because men don’t really speak,” explained the Bok captain. “It’s extreme, it’s bad. You have to speak about it, get through it. That’s why you grow up and your heart is so hard. That’s normal in my neighbourhood.”

The interview coincided with the start of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence in South Africa, which began on Saturday, 25 November.

 

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While winning the Webb Ellis Cup again is a triumph, it is not the only thing that drives Siya forward. Siya recalls telling his buddy Reece James, the England and Chelsea defender, to “find something bigger than just a trophy — something you might not be able to reach will always give you something to chase.”

‘We can play rugby and what are you remembered for? I know that some women won’t get stuff to help prevent them being abused and some kids won’t get their meals if I give up. All of that is what keeps me going every day.’

Siya puts a lot of sweat into the Kolisi Foundation, too, which creates safe spaces through sport and education, addresses gender-based violence, and contributes to food security in South Africa.

 

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A post shared by Rachel Kolisi (@rachelkolisi)

For this, Siya dismissed Biggar’s question of whether he considered entering the political arena after hanging up his boots:

“Politics? Nah. You don’t want to see me there. I’m going to dedicate myself to my foundation. I went to New York last week and did some fundraising for it. South Africa is No 1 in the world in gender-based violence. My aunt and my mum were the first people I knew who were being abused,” Siya said.\

While Siya certainly had one of the roughest South African childhoods possible, to some degree, he is also grateful for where he came from:

‘I was raised by my grandmother and she always told me to use what’s around you. I couldn’t afford toys, I used a brick as a toy, I used to push it around like it was my car. I loved growing up in the township. It taught me a lot of the values I have today. People work hard, they wake up at 4am to stand next to the highway hoping somebody gives them an opportunity. We’d play in the streets. There’s so much good there.’

Now, he wants to “encourage people in the township to have wild dreams”, adding that everything in the past is what drives Siya to create a better future. The Boks star then touched on the power of singing, a simple tool to drive up the spirit and move forward:

“What do the black guys like? We like to sing before we play. Some guys are not used to that so let’s talk about it. Why do we sing? We’ve been singing since we were young. When I was young, I would sing when I was sad, happy, hungry. When other people join in, it felt like they were carrying my burden with me. Sometimes we don’t even need to warm up, we just sing together and it makes you warm from the inside out. After a while, some of the guys who are not black started singing and now they know the songs.”

True to character, Siya is always at it:

 

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A post shared by Siya Kolisi (@siyakolisi)

It might be “crazy” to think that he has gone from extreme poverty to being a VIP guest at Madison Square Garden, but with that Siya spirit, anything is possible.

[source:dailymail]