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While parasocial relationships have existed for ages, social media and our celebrity-obsessed culture have changed the landscape around this drastically.

These spooky-sounding relationships are defined as one-sided, typically with celebrities or fictional characters, or your favourite vampire character.

According to chief strategy officer at media tech company IMGN Media Noah Mallin, parasocial relationships are an assumed intimacy that audience members feel even though they don’t have an actual relationship with that person. It’s best illustrated by the obsession some people have with famous singers and artists, camping out for days in the rain to be in the front row of a Swiftie concert, with your glittery sign that says: “Marry Me, Taylor”.

And you would.

These relationships existed long before the internet — thousands of years ago – ancient people had parasocial relationships with the pharaohs and deities, for example.

In the 20th century, early research on parasocial relationships looked into those of ordinary people and soapy characters or other fictional TV characters.

“People would watch TV shows and really feel like they had a relationship with…some of the leads on the shows,” said Pennington. “So even though they may never meet, they were like, ‘This person is my friend. I know them.'” Remember the ‘Team Edward’ vs. ‘Team Bella’ t-shirts all the Twilight fans were wearing? Your mother does.

As media and technology evolved, so have parasocial relationships. With the rise of the internet and social media in the past few decades, celebrities have disclosed more information about themselves online, allowing fans more insight.

This previously impossible-to-know knowledge has made these relationships seem real as fans are learning more about the celebrity. It’s still one-sided, however, as the celebrity may have no idea who you are, despite you knowing their favourite meal, colour, or the size of their foot.

In a study on fan-celebrity interaction published in 2016, Professor Jeffrey A. Hall and researcher Alex Hutchinson, discussed the “illusion of closeness” social media interaction gives to fans when it comes to celebrity interaction. A celebrity “like” or retweet can not only boost one’s own social status, but it’s a perceived level of intimacy with the celeb.

Even the definition of “celebrity” is fuzzy these days due to the rise of social media and particularly influencers, who’ve blurred the parasocial lines even more because of increased interaction and the perception that an influencer is just a “normal person” like yourself. They’re not, and we doubt you’ll be invited to dinner anytime soon just because Kylie Jenner retweeted your video.

The rise of YouTube vlogging has also had a psychological effect on modern parasocial relationships. Vloggers speak directly to the camera about specific personal issues they’re dealing with, as if they’re speaking to a friend (you). Now it’s become typical for an influencer to look directly at you during a video.

How can you not feel connected to someone you admire as they look into your eyes while apologising for an old tweet?

Commenting back and forth can feel like you’re having a conversation with an influencer (even if it’s their team and not them responding). This helps foster the sense of ‘this is a real person’, but that can also foster the sense of, ‘not only is this a real person, but we actually have a relationship with each other.’ Again, you don’t.

This sense of closeness mirrors a lot of online dating scams, and we all know how that turns out.

The rise of parasocial relationships has a lot to do with the lonely experience of many people during the pandemic, and subsequent lockdowns all over the world. Online relationships grew, and so too did our obsession with ‘influencers’.

So, it makes sense that people seek connection online and through celebrities and influencers. As long as they’re not the only relationships in your life, parasocial relationships can be totally fine. You may get a “boost” of good-connection feelings — a hit of the feel-good chemical dopamine — when you engage with your favourite online personality, and that’s not a bad thing.

But it becomes a problem when you live your life for a celeb, and ignore everyone IRL. It’s one-sided at best and obsessive and potentially illegal at worst – depending on who you are. Social media has turned the world into a gigantic, messy nightclub. It’s good to remember that not everyone who makes eye contact with you wants to buy you a drink.

Timothée Chalamet never responded to my niece’s matric farewell invite, even though she was, like, so in love with him. In the end, she went with some lanky kid who smelled like an Old Spice factory. Sorry, D, but that’s real life.

[source:mashable]