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The word ‘phubbing’ entered public lexicon many years ago but a great deal of people don’t even know what this means for their own self-esteem and personal relationships. The word is news to me, but I must admit that I am very much guilty of this modern evasive tactic.

The funny-sounding term is a portmanteau, meaning a blending of two words to create a new one, in this case ‘phone snubbing’.

Picture this: you’re engrossed in a conversation, only to realise that your companion’s attention is miles away, ensnared by the glowing allure of their smartphone screen. You wonder… Are they on TikTok? Who are they messaging? What’s so damn interesting behind that black mirror? And it’s often the same conclusion, no matter the situation: ‘that sucks, they’re clearly not listening to me’.

This phenomenon, aptly dubbed ‘phubbing,’ means that, whether on purpose or accidentally, you’ve brushed aside the person you’re conversing with in order to be on your phone. Yup, sounds familiar.

In the midst of a bustling digital age, this subtle yet glaring behaviour has embedded itself in our social interactions. It’s something that FOX 5’s Jennifer Williams says almost everyone can admit to, and although it’s often dismissed as harmless, recent research is shining a light on just how detrimental this simple act of ignorance can be.

Findings from a study by ScienceDirect suggest that phubbing has been linked to marital discontent and sending ripples through relationships – so it shouldn’t be underestimated.

Relationship expert Lori Zaslow has weighed in on the gravity of the phenomenon, highlighting the impact of where one’s focus lies:

“Whatever we give our attention to is really, really important, especially in a relationship with a partner, kids or anyone because it doesn’t feel good being on the other hand where you are being ignored for something else.”

This modern-day faux pas, aside from being just plain onbeskof, projects an unintended message to our loved ones; one that might bruise deeper than we realise. Lori goes on to explain that:

“It is important to take a break from anything, especially technology. People want to feel like you’re listening, you’re hearing, and you care.”

A study from 2022 published in Frontiers echoes these insights from relationship experts, revealing that phubbing’s ramifications extend beyond mere discomfort, delving into territories of distrust and exclusion. And the cycle perpetuates.

A separate study from ScienceDirect has shown a clear pattern: those who habitually phub others are often subjected to the same treatment, inadvertently contributing to a vicious cycle of digital disregard.

 

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The data speaks for itself, and we’ve all seen it go down in real time. If you’ve ever felt or made someone feel phubbed, it’s high time we start choosing our phone doom-scroll moments better, so we can give our full attention to that which really matters.

After all, the glow of a phone screen pales in comparison to the warmth of authentic human connection.

[source:news24]