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With the rapid rise in artificially intelligent chatbots, a chunk of salesmen, doctors, journalists, and other keyboard-based creators are nervously fretting over their future job security.

We all need a drink.

Lucky for us, Gizmodo has just the thing. Sort of. The publication wildly prompted our AI overlords (AKA OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Google’s Bard) to craft cocktails inspired by Silicon Valley’s biggest personalities – coz why the hell not? The results range from goofy to undrinkable, but we’re all having a grand old (read: incredibly existential and absurd) time anyway.

Can I interest you in an ‘Electric Entrepreneur’? It is an Elon Musk-esque travesty, made from a grab bag of contrasting spirits and bitters topped off by a squeeze of Red Bull.

How about an ‘iMartini’? It is the only drink on this menu that is not garishly coloured blue with curaçao liqueur and inspired by the only tech tycoon we like – Steve Jobs, the man.

These are definitely the kind of drinks you’ll be happy consuming in moderation. Unless of course, you add a premium vodka into the mix.

Consider Albatross Cape Grape Vodka, which is distilled from a selection of the finest Cape Grapes and the purified water of the Table Mountain aquifer:

 

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That’s the only blue drink I back, thanks.

If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and strange, here are all the tech CEO cocktails not at all worth trying unless you are heavy-handed with that Albatross Cape Grape Vodka.

Mark Zuckerberg: ‘The Facebook Fizz’

• one shot of vodka
• half a shot of blue curaçao liqueur
• half a shot of lemon juice
• half a shot of simple syrup
• some club soda, ice, and a lemon wheel for garnish

ChatGPT says:

“This cocktail is inspired by the blue color of Facebook’s logo and the refreshing fizz of the social media platform. Enjoy responsibly!”

Gizmodo’s Review:

“The Zuckerberg-inspired ‘Facebook Fizz’ wasn’t exactly bad per see but it certainly wasn’t good either. In fact, the drink really lacked any strong taste one way or another, which seems like an apt comparison to the Facebook founder’s notoriously amoral disposition.”

Elon Musk: The ‘Electric Entrepreneur’

• one shot vodka
• half shot blue curaçao
• one shot of lime juice
• half a shot of honey syrup
• a dash of orange bitters
• a splash of Red Bull
• a lemon twist for garnish

ChatGPT says:

“Enjoy the “Electric Entrepreneur” cocktail while contemplating your next big idea or exploring the limits of what’s possible!”

Gizmodo’s Review:

“The Electric Entrepeneur is loud, highly caffeinated, in your face, and leaves a nasty taste lingering in your mouth. If the goal was to make a drink that embodied its namesake’s aura, ChatGPT truly nailed it on this one.”

Jeff Bezos: ‘The Blue Origin’

• two shots of tequila
• a shot of blue curaçao
• a shot of lime juice
• club soda to top
• a lime wedge for garnish

Google Bard says:

“I chose these ingredients because they represent some of the qualities that I associate with Jeff Bezos. Tequila is a clear spirit that is often associated with success and ambition. Blue curaçao is a tropical flavor that represents Bezos’s vision for space travel. Lime juice is a tart citrus fruit that represents Bezos’s determination and drive. Club soda is a refreshing beverage that represents Bezos’s ability to relax and enjoy life.”

Sounds boring.

Gizmodo’s Review:

“If there’s one thing Amazon founder Jeff Bezos understands, it’s consistency. And union busting. The Blue Origin hits on that first quality, serving up a blue margarita-inspired drink that’s completely accessible and highly drinkable. The Blue Origin is the type of middling cocktail you’d likely find poured by the pitcher full at a mid-tier chain restaurant like Ruby Tuesday’s or Chili’s.”

Steve Jobs: The ‘iMartini’

• two shots of vodka
• one shot of apple juice
• half a shot of lemon juice
• half a shot of simple syrup
• a dash of bitters
• a thin slice of apple for garnish

ChatGPT says:

“Enjoy the “iMartini” cocktail while celebrating the innovative spirit of Steve Jobs and the impact that Apple has had on technology and design!”

Gizmodo’s Review:

“The “iMartini” seems like a win on the first sip. Its Apple-themed flavors stand out and punch through. One quickly begins to realize though that this intense mix of sugars and fruits is a quick one-way ticket to a blistering hangover. Limit yourself to one.”

Thanks, chatbots, you can retire now.

I am going to help myself to a martini glass full of pure, classy vodka with brilliant character and depth.

 

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If you’re also one to throw the Big Man in the bin, head over to Kinship Spirit for a bottle of your own Albatross Cape Grape Vodka.

Sipping a cocktail to celebrate the majestic bird’s independent spirit over the childish world-domination-hungry whimpering of Elon Musk sounds like a much better way to watch the AI apocalypse go down.

[source:gizmodo]