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Voice Notes really do seem to bring out the best and the worst in people, depending on who you are.

I personally use them all the time. I know that part of the problem is some people don’t know that you can lift the phone to your ear and the voice note plays out through the ear speaker, rather than listening through the loudspeaker of the phone, like people from Johannesburg like to do.

Some people don’t know that, and I feel sorry for them.

When I do send voice notes, I’m aware that the person receiving it won’t be able to glance at the message, so there’s a good chance they won’t be able to listen or reply for a while. The worst case scenario is they go into the message – see it’s a voice note, and then exit, resolving to listen to it later.

But then they don’t mark that message as unread and it’s gone forever. Or at least until the next time they need to message you and they see the voice note lying there, rotting.

So as long as that is understood by all, I don’t see why anyone would have a problem receiving voice notes. Listen if you can. Or don’t! The sender should know the risks.

I also think they are perfectly fine to reply with a voice note if someone is requesting information from you. It’s easier to do and saves you effort and time. And they won’t mind, because they’re the ones wanting information so desperately from you.

So with all of that said, and to get to the point of this monologue… can I just ask that we stop apologising at the beginning of EVERY goddamn voice note? And to be clear, I’m excluding myself from that ‘we’, as I’m not a pathetic person. I mean, you’ve got whoever you’re messaging listening to the message already.

You KNOW every second counts and you KNOW that some people have an irrational allergy to voice notes – so why would you waste even more of their time by explaining and apologising for 10 seconds?

“Howzit bru, sorry for the voice note, I’m just in the car and I saw a cop and wanted to just ask you blah blah blah” – PA.THE-TIC!!!!! GET ON WITH IT! And know the risks. You pathetic, weak individual.

– Seth

PS. All the cool kids are using Telegram and if you pay for premium it can convert all voice notes into text. So…