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No, it’s not the first episode of a Monty Python reboot, but rather the kick-off to the ANC’s 2024 Election Campaign. Ramaphosa chose KwaDukuza on the KwaZulu-Natal north coast as the first willing victims in their election charade, promising the locals (again) that the ANC can improve their lives.

Please feel free to facepalm yourself before continuing.

“Even those who are not here, make sure they support and vote for the ANC. We must make sure that here in KwaZulu-Natal, the ANC continues being in government — at national level too, because we want the ANC back in government. Only the ANC can resolve your challenges.”

Ramaphosa went further and promised the disillusioned and poverty-stricken voting fodder that the party was listening to them, and their pleas for ‘a better life’ were not falling on deaf ears. Perhaps he is right as ignoring someone does not mean you are deaf.

The super president then went on to say that the ANC can fix the mess the country finds itself in, and pointed toward the evidence of how the ANC is delivering. Pause for another facepalm.

“We have our challenges, but people are very hopeful. Even as I spoke to them about the challenges we are facing with electricity, they appreciate that we have appointed an electricity minister. They also appreciate that we have recalibrated our executive.”

Glad to see we have moved on from reshuffle and now find our executive in full recalibration. You can say a bear deficates in the woods, but it still just means sh#t.

“We are a government that has done a great deal to change the lives of our people. If you look around you will see houses, children that go to school [on a] no-fee basis, to university.

No mention was made of scandalous government housing tenders, dilapidated projects, schools with pit toilets, or the fact that universities are about as productive as a Cosatu strike. In fact, you could be forgiven for thinking Ramaphosa was just taking the piss with all the gatherers, despite not pointing to his nose and saying ‘Gotcha!’

The biggest applause of the day was reserved for when the president announced that the R350 social relief grant would be continued.

Honestly, you can’t really blame the guy for using the 1994 script. What else was he going to say? As the election campaign begins in earnest we are sure to have solutions and accusations galore. Quite how the ANC is going to convince the people of South Africa that they deserve a second chance is beyond us. It does however seem that they will be going full tilt in the coming months, so it is sure to be a lot of pretty speeches and blinding lies. Maybe a few ribbon-cutting ceremonies over fixed potholes will be a welcome reprieve.

Buckle up for a wild ride on the 2024 election campaign people. Perhaps we should begin a feature called Do they think we’re stupid?  This way we can keep track of all the bullshit that is sure to come.

[source:sowetan]