[imagesource:flickr]

Our favourite vagina-obsessed snake-oil salesman, Gwyneth Paltrow, is getting ready for Valentine’s Day with the newly released 2023 Goop Valentine’s Day Gift Guide.

At first glance, the catalogue appears to have been thought up by a group of stoned adolescents in a college dorm room, but given the prices, it is most definitely for adults only.

Predictably, there are many extravagant gifts on sale this year, but our favourite has to be the Goop x Heretic “This Smells Like My Vagina” Candle, which retails for $48 (R830).

If that doesn’t get the amour going, you can also browse the Le Petit Derrière range of candles (below), now also available in three shades of human.

With everything from crystal-encrusted bondage whips to Madonna-approved vibrating necklaces, the Goop catalogue really does have everything for curious couples and nymphomaniac millionaires.

Paltrow has come under fire in recent years for the ‘scientific’ claims made by some of her products. This hasn’t stopped several of her fellow celebrities from lending their names to her products though, and the catalogue is filled with Kate Hudson and Jennifer Aniston ‘approved’ products that will either confuse or amuse.

You can have a look at the NSFW catalogue here.

So whether your ‘yoni’ needs steaming, or you are on the lookout for Kama Sutra-inspired dinner napkins, Gwyneth has the product for you. At a price of course.

[sources:pagesix&Goop]