[imagesource: Pix4Free]

If I kick myself in the balls, can I accuse my own foot of sexual assault?

If you ask the brain trust at the ANC, this seems reasonable.

In fact, they would likely suggest a commission be convened to investigate the foot for links to Afriforum, Blair, Trump, or Israel.

It’s exactly because of this idiocy that we tend to avoid too much talk of politics – it gives the average South African a headache to attempt to decipher what the politicians mean when they say anything.

But we have to admit that the latest statement from ANC MP Mncedisi Nontsele is either a sign of a party that is entirely bereft of any critical thought, or my left foot is indeed out to kill me in a hostile takeover of my nether regions.

According to the Mail&Gaurdian, the ruling party recently summoned Eskom’s top brass to a parliamentary caucus meeting where they were accused of sabotaging the party ahead of next year’s general elections.

According to reliable sources, ANC MP Matshidiso Mfikoe accused Eskom of sabotaging its relationship with its constituency:

“The ANC’s constituency is angry and that the party was ‘under siege’ because Eskom said it could take two years for the easing of blackouts”

In a staggering display of ignorance, the ANC seems to forget that the state of Eskom today is because of their policy decisions, cadre deployment, and general inability to organise a piss-up in a brewery.

Eskom spokesperson Sikonathi Mantshantsha has however reacted with confusion when asked about the meeting, only stating that:

“I am not aware of any meeting Eskom held with the caucus of any political party.”

Off course, we didn’t expect any government mouth to be aware of anything, that would ruin the surprise for our president, who had to cancel a trip to Davos in order to also pretend to give a hoot.

See, this is exactly why we try to keep our distance from politics in South Africa. Even at its most efficient, the governing party seems to be intent on denying that it is the problem.

Perhaps they are right and my left foot is indeed a cold war sleeper agent that has finally been activated. If they had any advice, it would most likely be to cut off my own nose to protect my testicles from my feet.

Why not? It’s not like they have any better ideas.

[source:m&g]