[imagesource:wikicommons]

As a kid growing up in a small Karoo town, I asked my parents why they were never invited to the Friday night bashes that our neighbour regularly held. After all, we could see the cars drive up to their house from our kitchen window. It sounded like a fabulous jol with music and laughing sometimes drifting through my bedroom window until the early hours of Saturday morning.

My mom, watching the cars pull up as she washed the dishes, noticeably stiffened at the question. After looking sideways at her, my dad only said: “Your mom doesn’t like jacuzzies’. He laughed and my mom kept on scrubbing ferociously at a pan that was already clean.

As the years went on, and a few kids in my school began to resemble their neighbour’s father more than their own, I finally learned what the secret to our neighbour’s killer parties were. And it wasn’t just the jacuzzi.

Swaaibraais, or pomp parties, seem to have been around for longer than we really want to think about. Still, the idea of allowing another person into the sacred chamber that is a couple’s bedroom has been gaining traction in the last few years. It is therefore not surprising that 1 in 3 Americans are open to non-monogamous relationships.

‘Monogamy is an easy, internalised structure to fall back to when we are not presented with alternatives. But in today’s world we have options. Too many, actually. Riddled with decision fatigue, millennials and Gen Zers are over being told who to be and how to do it. People are tired of boxes.’

Now this is a subject that requires a great deal of sensitivity and a lot of time to discuss, so we won’t be going into the details here, but thanks to a fascinating article in I-DVice, it seems open relationships, or ethical non-monogamy, is becoming less of a taboo subject.

‘The biggest misconception surrounding ENM is the lack of commitment or inability to remain faithful. But the truth is, in order to participate in these intricate relationship styles, an advanced level of self-assuredness is necessary.’

You can read the full article here.

I am an adult now, and unlike my dad and jacuzzi-fearing mom, I know what it takes to throw a killer party. If you really want to know more, I am happy to share my wisdom in future editions of 2Oceansvibe. But until then I only offer two pieces of advice for you as the weekend beckons us closer to non-sobriety:

1. After 3 hours in a jacuzzi, everyone gets a bit soupy and looks like your mother.
2. Make sure your wife, or girlfriend, is at least on her third Pinot Noir before you casually mention: “You know, I read a fascinating article today…”

You’re welcome.

[source:idvice]