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Take my cat, demand a ransom, and I will go full Liam Neeson from Taken on you.

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my cat go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

For real.

Pet kidnapping for ransom, or petnapping, sounds far-fetched but it can be a profitable venture. Recently, Carte Blanche took up the case:

It reads like a Hollywood blockbuster – pets go missing, and a well-intentioned stranger ostensibly picks them up. But the plot unravels as he turns nasty and demands a ransom for their safe return.

Incredibly, the so-called petnappers don’t have the pet and are actually running a scam.

In a story crying out for an amateur pet detective, one woman stepped up to the plate and went after the culprits:

[source:carteblanche]