[imagesource: Instagram / @theintimacycurator]

Relationship coach Aili Seghetti found a rather unique business opportunity in India’s mired and complex dating culture.

As someone who has a knack for intimacy, Seghetti found herself on a few dates in the country that ended up being so bad she couldn’t help but put on her counselling glasses and think of a solution to help everyone date better.

She sat through her fair share of awkward conversations, cheesy pick-up lines, and worst of all, misogynistic, poorly-communicated, generally awful approach to intimacy.

At this stage, it was time to use her training as a sex and intimacy coach.

Image: Aili Seghetti

She came up with the ingenious idea of helping people master the art of dating by going on fake dates with them, reported VICE:

That’s how Seghetti came up with Intimacy Curator, a dating, relationship and intimacy coaching service.

Through her “dating surrogacy” services, she could use her insights and experiences to guide people on how to date without being a dick.

“A dating surrogate is someone who helps you date better through experiential learning, because dating is something you need to experience, and not just read about or talk about,” she explained.

“As a dating surrogate, we are trained to experientially teach you things, which we do by going on dates and giving live feedback on what you’ve said, your body language and eye contact, as well as help you with grooming, styling, and topics of conversations.”

At the moment, there are four other dating surrogates working with Seghetti, all trained to curate intimacy and help people on their journey of love and sex.

The keyword is “curator” rather than a coach because the surrogates “curate specialised experiences based on what the person wants from a relationship”.

They also offer tangible takeaway from the experience with their background in psychology or counselling:

With her clients, Seghetti’s sessions typically start with counselling to understand the person, their value system, fears and desires, and whether they’re looking for something casual or on a journey to find a long-term partner.

She usually conducts a personality test that helps her team understand what kind of person the client is. She also offers to help her clients design profiles on dating apps and gives them tips on how to style and groom themselves. She then designs a date according to the client’s interests and preferences.

She helps people find heterosexual love, and if they’re queer, she also helps them on their coming out journey:

“I had a client who was married for 10 years and then got divorced. She was on a journey to explore her sexuality and approached us to understand how to get it going with a woman. We went for a play and a walk on Juhu beach. Here, we tested how comfortable she was holding hands in public if that is something her date wanted to do.

We ended it at her place, where we went through her emotions and intentions.” Seghetti also compiled links to videos to help this client learn about how to have sex with a woman, and educated her about the sex toys available out there.

Seghetti’s service is indeed incredibly involved, even helping folks with how to get to the first stages of sex by taking them through consent, as well as the different types of touch, and breathing exercises to create an erotic experience.

While the surrogates never actually have sex with the clients, they do everything that leads up to the moment to help the person get used to how it might feel so that they’re ready for when it really does happen for them.

In case a situation becomes out of the surrogates’ control, there are lawyers and private security guards on hand.

The clients are also screened, and I suppose the fee for the service also helps filter the client base. It costs Rs 3 000 (just under R600) for the pre-date counselling session, after which a two-hour date costs Rs 5 000 (just under R1 000).

Helping people fulfil their desires and fantasies by providing a simulation of the real deal sounds like a fun gig, if you’re good at forging intimacy with strangers right off the bat, that is.

[source:vice]