[imagesource: Slate]

Pornography gets a bad rep for many valid reasons.

The massive, multi-million dollar industry has so many devastating accusations racked up against it.

Additionally, porn can also cause trouble at home.

If it is not making partners feel undesirable and perverting expectations of body image and sexual behaviour, then it is causing erectile dysfunction, relationship issues, and depression.

Sure, porn affects all genders and orientations, but men are likely to watch porn more frequently than women, which leaves some partners feeling anxious about their relationships.

In a News24 article that has sex therapists answering some burning questions about sex and relationships, sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein answers the question, “my partner watches a lot of porn – am I not enough for him?”

The answer is not a simple one, with Goldstein saying there are many reasons why a man wants to watch porn – whether it be because of arousal, curiosity, or just because he can.

Ultimately, this is one way of handling it as a partner:

You need to determine if the amount of porn he’s watching harms your relationship and if he’s using it as a replacement for having sex with you.

If not, don’t stress; he can watch all the porn he wants, as long as it’s you he’s coming home to.

If you think he has an addiction, you need to go about it carefully. Make sure you don’t accuse or scold and be very cautious about using the word ‘addiction’ as this is a sensitive topic.

You need to help him see it’s a problem before you try and solve it or seek professional help

Shame is one of the most debilitating emotions that a human can feel, so that is something to think about before scolding your partner for watching porn.

Side note: the News24 article has a lot of other advice concerning how much sex a couple has on average, as well as masturbation, orgasms, libido, and the use of sex toys. If you notice a paywall, perhaps you might consider subscribing.

Moving on to the possibility of porn as an addiction and how new technology might lend itself as a helping hand.

Many younger people can say that we saw our first sex video on the playground at school, which is the moment a lot of people end up in a dark space with a dependence on porn, and there’s research to back that up.

A study cited in The Guardian suggests that 51% of children aged 11 to 13 had seen pornography, rising to 66% of 14- to 15-year-olds.

Several studies have looked at the effects of pornography on the brain. Some have suggested that it triggers greater feelings of desire, but not enjoyment, in compulsive users – a characteristic of addiction.

Others have indicated that the brain’s reward system is smaller in regular pornography consumers, meaning they might need more graphic material to get aroused.

“Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what it’s called, because it’s a problem,” says Paula Hall [a veteran psychotherapist who specialises in sex and pornography addiction]. She has seen men who pace the room and can’t think of anything else until they get a fix of pornography: “They get the jitters.”

Jack Jenkins, the founder of Remojo, which is one of the few apps and technologies designed to help with porn addiction, is also interviewed

For more about that, head here.

[sources:news24&theguardian]