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Life aboard a yacht, superyacht, or as is the case with Jeff Bezos, a gigayacht, is glamorous.

Look at that lady above – not a care in the world.

Now look past her right shoulder, and you’ll see the crew awaiting the arrival of the guests, and it’s their stories that are often the most intriguing.

Yachties see it all during their employment (stewardesses often more than others), and despite public perception, it’s not endless tropical destinations and happily serving the rich and famous.

Brandon Presser, writing for Business Day, shared some of his experience:

A good yachtie isn’t seen or heard — but they see and hear everything. Earpieces, radios and cameras help keep a constant eye on guests, all feeding back to a control room…

Of course, this also means staff see and hear things of a more risqué nature, such as one yachtie whose repeat client insisted on spending her entire seven-day foray in the nude, often passing out drunk in unbecoming positions. Semiclad sunbathing (most often by “paid friend” types), spouse swaps and drunken fisticuffs are also common.

Sports stars are said to be serial offenders, including one NBA player who had trashed a vessel within hours, including clogging the cabin toilets with his vomit.

Luke Hammond, who captains a charter vessel in the Caribbean, says that whilst drug use on certain boats has been clamped down on (“it’s definitely not the ’80s anymore”), the same cannot be said for prostitution:

“We see day-use girlfriends on other boats all the time,” says Christopher Sawyer, the Bella’s chef, “especially in the Med”.

He’s even witnessed big spenders fill a secondary superyacht with women to trail the lead vessel, swapping them on and off — 10 at a time — throughout the course of several days.

Image: Columbus Yachts

Often a yacht will be rented for two weeks: the first for the family, the second for bachelor partyesque antics. I’ll tell you about the crazy land-bound shopping sprees in a bit, they’re often the wives’ revenge.

It’s a different story drugs wise in Florida, where so-called ‘Sunday Funday’ celebrations often involve copious cocaine usage.

Presser recounts stumbling onto a dedicated cocaine room while looking for the bathroom, which came with an ornate mirror table.

Picking up the literal and figurative scraps can be rewarding, with guests often leaving behind expensive clothing that they aren’t bothered about losing, as well as surplus food and booze for the crew to get stuck into.

Then there are the tips:

When a boat is being chartered, the unspoken rule is for the renter — called the “primary” — to tip each crew member 1% of the total weekly rental cost.

For the Bella, which costs $220,000 for seven days (not including food, fuel and dockage), staff can plan on pocketing at least $2,200 each. The number can be far higher if a group leaves behind what’s left of their food and fuel deposit — 30% of the total trip cost — and it’s dispersed to staff.

Sometimes, yachties can strike it very lucky, scoring a $10 000 bonus from a megawealthy and generous guest.

Obviously, owning or renting a superyacht doesn’t come cheap, especially if the owner wants to add those extra luxury touches:

 “I once worked on a vessel that had a Picasso in the galley — the staff saw it way more than the owner,” Hammond says, adding that his ships have held everything including Fabergé eggs and concert pianos. Another, owned by an LVMH exec, was designed with as many Dior products as could fit inside, including custom wallpaper.

Yachts also depreciate rapidly, meaning they’re anything but a sound investment.

I guess that’s part of the appeal – if you own one, you’re clearly so wealthy that money isn’t a concern.

As for those who work aboard them – you take the rough with the smooth.

[source:busday]