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A foster dog with stunning blue eyes and an “always-on personality” has left his foster family feeling absolutely shattered.

To such an extent that foster mother, Christine Clauder, created an adoption website full of expletives and hilarious tidbits about Hank.

Please Adopt Hank has since gone viral for being “highly exaggerated for comical effect”.

It opens up “please adopt this hellion” and continues:

While we were parked outside the Red Bull factory, Hank flew into our passenger side and immediately helped himself to our stash of road trip snacks like a teenager raiding the fridge after school.

He’s 54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean.

Unfortunately, that ocean also sank the Titanic.

He does look terribly adorable, which is apparently only when he’s not being a “destructive asshole”.

The website acts as a bit of a sales funnel, with call-to-action buttons that are frankly genius.

They start off with gall – “stop f***ing reading and adopt now” and slowly get more worn out, much like the family dealing with Hank.

For example, “I’m so tired. Please f***ing adopt him.”

You can see Clauder loves the dog through all her fussing, making it clear that she is not getting rid of him because he’s unlovable:

His foster mom has several other critters which are tiny. After experiencing his always-on personality, they’re JUST NOT HERE FOR IT.

We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OF OUR COFFEE.

Look at Hank go:

The website also notes that Hank has “no balls”, is “kind of trained,” “fancy AF,” and “loyal AF” alongside some more quick-witted moaning.

As for Hank’s breed, his blue eyes and insane personality give some hints but Clauder is still waiting for the official information from a DNA kit.

Meanwhile, she writes “I’m told he’s a Siberian Black Mouth Cur, but what the hell even is that?”

While the website tells the story of Hank coming from a Red Bull factory (which doesn’t actually exist), the real story of how they found Hank is as follows, per Business Insider:

Clauder said that when she first came across Hank in early May he was abandoned and in an industrial part of Houston, Texas.

She recalls that he was malnourished, neglected, and covered in fleas so she took him home and spent the next few months getting him cleaned, neutered, and ready for adoption.

She did the right thing but now she is just tired.

Well, her efforts to find the right person to adopt Hank is admirable considering how exhausted she says she is, and her honesty seems to have gone a long way already.

A number of media platforms including HuffPost, Mail Online, People, Today, and the New York Post have helped spread the news far and wide.

Of course, a substantial amount of people have reached out to his adoption agency Friend4Life, but Clauder says she is still searching for the right owner.

[sources:businessinsider&pleaseadopthank]