[imagesource: Phil Magakoe / Reuters]

Yesterday was a big, big day for the rule of law in South Africa.

Jacob Zuma’s corruption trial might be a never-ending saga with dates kicked further and further down the road, but the Constitutional Court wasn’t mucking about.

The former president was found guilty of contempt after failing to adhere to a court order to attend the Zondo Commission, sentenced to 15 months behind bars, and given five days to present himself to authorities to begin his prison term.

There is no appeal process, and it is the end of that legal road.

After what we’ve been through, it still feels almost unbelievable that Zuma will actually end up behind bars, but let’s imagine for a second that he does.

The first thing to point out is that he will be eligible for parole in less than four months, reports News24, so if Zuma is imprisoned at the beginning of July, he will be eligible for parole in late September.

Crime expert Dr Guy Lamb said it was likely that Zuma would be granted parole as soon as he was eligible, and would not be treated like a normal prisoner.

Instead, he may be sent to the medical wing due to his age, as well as the need to keep him separate from ‘hardened criminals’.

I think he would fit right in, actually. Birds of a feather…

Department of Correctional Services spokesperson Singabakho Nxumalo outlined what a day’s meal plan would look like:

Breakfast – Cereal with milk and sugar, bread with margarine and a spread and tea or coffee with sugar and milk

Light meal – Bread with margarine and a spread and a vitamin enriched fruit drink or fresh fruit or soup.

Dinner – Protein rich dish (animal protein), starch dish, vegetable dishes (two types) and tea or coffee with sugar and milk

Smashing the carbs. Tim Noakes would be appalled.

Something tells me that Zuma would find a few wardens willing to bend the rules, but there’s not much that can be done about that.

Let’s break briefly for a healthy dose of schadenfreude – remember this?

That laugh would sound great echoing around a prison cell.

Even while in jail, he’ll still be costing the taxpayer money:

Constitutional law expert Pierre de Vos said despite being found guilty of contempt of court, Zuma would not lose his presidential perks, which includes security, travel, pension and medical aid.

De Vos added the only way a president could lose his benefits, according to legislation, was if he was impeached while sitting as a president.

I’ve avoided the real, obvious elephant in the room thus far, because it’s nice to dream.

Is Zuma actually going to end up behind bars, or will we see him granted a Schabir Shaik-like medical parole, where he relaxes at Nkandla for the duration of his sentence?

South Africans will remember this photo from earlier in the year, showing police minister Bheki Cele popping in at Nkandla for tea:

Is that the look of a man who will bring Zuma in if he refuses to obey the law?

As it stands, Zuma’s daughter has said that he will present himself for incarceration:

Amandla! Just Spoke To My Father, @PresJGZuma Is In High Spirits And Has No Fear. We Have A Choice Between Serving Our Time In Jhb Or Nkandla…Of Course We Have Chosen To Be Close To Home. Lockdown Or No Lockdown We Will Escourt You To Serve Your Time. ✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽 pic.twitter.com/Yrybea4Skt

— Dudu Zuma-Sambudla (@DZumaSambudla) June 29, 2021

But we know better than to trust a Zuma, and the former president’s son, Edward, says authorities have a fight on their hands.

EWN below:

Edward said the police would have to kill him first, before arresting his father. He said the Constitutional Court’s decision against Zuma was unjust, and adherence to COVID-19 regulations was not a priority at the moment.

“We encourage people to come out in their numbers to come and support President Zuma,” he said.

When asked about COVID-19 regulations he replied, “We know we’re in a situation of war, you can’t be considering COVID-19 situations. If it means we die, we die, and we are prepared to die.”

Carl Niehaus is also singing for his supper:

The imprisonment of @PresJGZuma is totally unacceptable. In fact it is an utter outrage! Now it is our revolutionary democratic right and duty to register our outrage, and resistance to this, in no uncertain terms, and we will! ✊🏾

100% Behind Msholozi! ✊🏾#HandsOffMsholozi! ✊🏾 pic.twitter.com/tNMfBqi2wB

— Carl Niehaus (@niehaus_carl) June 29, 2021

Let’s not forget that Niehaus lied about his mother dying in order to get out of paying a debt.

He was also caught out in a similar scam in 2011 involving his father. He was tangled up in debt, and attempted to borrow money that he said was to cover funeral expenses for his father.

His father was still alive.

These are the sorts of people that attach themselves to Zuma and hang around like parasites, hoping to feed on his scraps.

Niehaus even donned his finest fake military attire to issue an official media statement:

Statement of outrage by #MKMVA about the unjust imposition of a 15 month prison sentence on @PresJGZuma. pic.twitter.com/TWxF6okeEq

— Carl Niehaus (@niehaus_carl) June 29, 2021

There are also fears that Zuma could somehow skip the country before his five days are up, and land up somewhere where he has both friends and stashed resources.

We have a very interesting few days ahead of us.

[sources:news24&ewn]